The Tale of Sir. Rosslessness, Count of Borehamwood

Chapter 1: In which Rosslessness rides through Wikonia

It was a dark and rainy night as Sir Rosslessness road through the mist. He sat upon an ebony steed, galloping madly through the black offset of twilight. He was on a quest, a mission to save the fair country of Wikonia from terror and dismay. It was his duty. he had saved an array of orphans, and was taking them back to their rightful homes in the village of namespace. But before he could transfer them there, he had to ascertain that the road was clear of any foes that might seek to destroy Sir Rosslessness, or endanger his mission.

Suddenly, Sir Rosslessness stopped. He gazed around the dark moor, and slowly dismounted his horse. Amid the clam silence, Ross could feel something. First, it was a cool chill, but it was gradually growing more menacing. Someone, or something was watching him. He drew the blade from his side, but it was just a casual guard; he had no true defence against any beast or monster that could emerge.

With a crack of thunder, a beast emerged from the darkness, frantically waving its appendages and screeching out a foul cry. Ross turned, but it was too late! The creature was upon him, and had its foul intentions clear. In a split second, he tossed it off of him, and scrambled to his feet. After a simple glance, he was certain. This was the foul creature Lazurman, a spawn of the mighty demon 3page.

As it attacked again, Ross countered. He spun behind it, slamming it to the floor with the power of its own charge. But this was no ordinary beast. It was prepared for the attack, and sprang back up, forcing Sir Rosslessness to the ground once again. This time, his fate was certain.

Suddenly, a swish of steel cut through the beast. It collapsed to the ground, perishing, and Rosslessness looked up at the face of his saviour. It was Cyberbob. He was tall, part troll, but he had been engineered by the great council to serve the good of Wikonia. The council were a selective few, governing Wikonia with harsh deliberation. The mere factor that even a half troll was allowed on to this council had caused uproar amongst the laypeople, and had sparked a second rising of the Church of St. Iscariot.

Bob offered Ross a hand, and lifted him out of the dirt. "Efficiency, thy name is Bob." Ross commented, rising from his stance. "Your sword of vandal banning has saved the day." Bob chuckled, and admired his long sword. It shimmered in the moon, and he swished it with precision through the night air.

"Come, good sir." Cyberbob said. "We must leave for the council at once. Strange evils are afoot."

Without second thought or debate, Sir Rosslessness dusted himself off, sheathed his blade, and followed Cyberbob off in to the night.

Chapter 2: In which Sir Rosslessness proceeds to the Council

As the sun began to rise over the edge of the horizon, Cyberbob and Sir Rosslessness clambered through the wastes, now only a stone's throw from the council. There was a humid climate, and as Cyberbob turned to Ross, a bead of sweat slipped down his brow.

"So, Sir Rosslessness." he began. "What is it that draws you to the roads of Wikonia?"

"I have located several orphans, left behind by the recruitment boom of last year. It is my duty to deal with them. What is your say on this?" Ross replied, climbing over a tree stump and continuing onwards across the dirt road.

"Ah yes. I recall hearing about some such orphans before. You should take them to Namespace, as it is abundant with homes. I'll be sure to recommend the movement to the council when we arrive."

"Thank you, Lord Cyberbob." Ross said, bowing slightly. "I have a list of the orphans here, and any efforts on the council's part would be thanked." As he said this, he passed Cyberbob a script, and the half-troll scanned it, before slipping it in to his belt.

"Of course, Sir Rosslessness," Cyberbob began. "You could have done this yourself had you not left the council."

This was true. Sir Rosslessness had been a prominant member of the council until just over a month ago. However, he was preoccupied with other tasks, and had to leave them. Before Cyberbob could recieve an answer to this effect, however, a rustling from the bushes to the side of the path disturbed them. Cyberbob raised his blade of vandal banning cautiously, and approached the bushes with it pointed at whatever would emerge.

The bushes rustled again as the figure emerged. It was a man wearing dark clothes, with a mop of greasy hair. Cyberbob lowered his blade. It was Yonnua Koponen.

"I couldn't help overhearing you." He said. "And I must alert you, one of the orphans you aim to save is already doomed. It suffers from the disease inactivia. I witnessed the symptoms myself."

Cyberbob frowned, but shook it off. "If that is the case, I shall send a messenger with the dagger of deletion to provide euthanasia. We cannot risk a spread of inactivia."

Ross lowered his head with a shudder. He had already failed one of them, could he even stand a chance at rescuing the others? He ditched his worry, and collected himself. He and Cyberbob had to make for the council immediately. He looked up to where Yonnua had been a second before, but the man had disappeared back in to the woodland. He looked up at Cyberbob, and the pair continued down the path towards the central city, where the council awaited them.

Chapter 3: In which The council elect a new Magister

A lone bell rang through the streets of the Wikonian capital as Cyberbob and Sir Rosslessness entered the city. Both knew the sign and they gathered themselves in to a rush, forming with the other citizens parading down the street to the centre, where the great Admin Palace stood. Its noble white halls and marbles columns provided the backdrop for the council's machinations, and as the pair hurried towards the building, they looked forward to seeing the heir to the title of Magister.

At all times, the council was led by a pair of Magisters, and when one left, another was quickly appointed by a vote made by all of the citizens of Wikonia that registered to do so. This last vote had been called after Linkthewindow, a Knight and Magister, had resigned from his post because of his preoccupation with his crusade against the dreaded real-life monster, a fiend which had long hunted down and slain citizens of Wikonia. He was now Missing in Action, but, before leaving, he had asked that his position as Magister be passed on, though he retained his seat on the council.

Of the remaining Councillors, four stood at the election. A myseterious fellow, known by his peers as The General, stood, not because of his desire to lead, but moreso because of his lack of presence at the council. He too was a crusader against the real life monster, and he led his troops against it nearly every day. Thus, his seat on the council stood empty.

Next, Krazy Monkey, affectionately called "Cheese", was an early frontrunner in the race for Magister. He was more active on the council than The General or Link, but still only attended every week or so. However, his contributions to discussion were sharp, precise and impartial, and he had gained favour among many of the laymen. In particular, he was a favourite of Troll kind, who used their right to vote with great effect, praising him as a potential saviour for Wikonia.

Cyberbob himself ran in the contest, and was an easy third. He gained support as a decisive leader, who made important decisions when necessary. However, with very little of the vote, he knew he didn't have the chance to take the role of Magister, despite being an active and effective Councillor.

The main contender for Cheese was called DanceDanceRevolution. He was a wikiknight by trade, and his valiant efforts were renowned across Wikonia. He was known for his former relations efforts with the Troll king, Jed, and his active membership in the council. Although he was less decisive than Cyberbob, he was more likeable, and although his motions were not as rounded as Cheese's, he was active, and had the capacity to hold with those he chose to. Throughout the election, he had been holding equal support as Cheese, though most citizens had their bets on who would win.

The other councillors had pulled out of the election, whether through choice or because of their complete absence. The Rooster, another councillor, was uninterested in becoming a Magister. He had withdrawn from the start of the election. Suicidalangel, who used to hold the role of Magister, had been absent for several months, and was yet to return to Wikonia. More controversy still, however, surrounded the character of Nubis. Although this councillor had held the title for several years, severe aggravation had recently been caused when it turned out that Nubis had long since left the fields of Wikonia to a brighter plane, and a villainous mage, DCC, had been imitating Nubis using great magic. As such, one more councillor was lost.

In fact, the lack of viable councillors was beginning to cause an uproar. In particular, St. Iscariot, a notable advocater against the current council, had called out for new citizens to apply to join the council. He had nominated WanYao, chief Cardinal in the Church of Iscariot, a group worshipping the beliefs and ideals of a new council. And, as the pair ascended the steps to Admin Palace, St. Iscariot himself was standing at the top, watching the few present councillors talking in excited whispers.

"I hereby declare that DDR is the new Magister!" St. Iscariot boomed, his voice carrying through the crowd. Iscariot himself would have run for the council, but knew his attempts would be in vain, due to the opinion of the second Magister, Boxy, who had held the term longer than anyone else. He was a powerful character, making sweeping and powerful motions, and well accepted as the true leader of Wikonia. Iscariot knew he had no hope of convincing Boxy to allow him a position on the council, and so he worked silently through others.

DanceDanceRevolution himself stepped up, as cries of "Hail the new Magister!" echoed throughout the crowd. He nodded and smiled to the crowd, then turned to Boxy and the other councillors, his face suddenly serious. "Now, let's get back to work."

Chapter 4: In which Sir Rosslessness seeks clearance to Namespace

The crowd seperated, dissipating in to the ether. St. Iscariot left, pleased with the success of having DDR promoted to Magister. DDR also left, uttering calm deliberations to the lower coucnillors, including Cyberbob, who left with him in to the Admin Palace.

Boxy remained on the steps, pondering for a moment. It was in this moment that Sir Rosslessness approached him.

"Lord Boxy." He began, climbing the wrought stone steps to where the Magister stood. "I have taken in to my care several orphans, destined for the village of Namespace."

"Well," Boxy announced, scratching his chin. "It would appear that we have a problem. Namespace is many miles away, and you shall require a Councillor to aid your journey there. Why should we oblige this?"

"It is of grave concern, Lord Boxy. We must not allow the census to be false. And what's more, two such orphans, Rejmaius and Rejmarchus, bear important documents to be transfered to namespace. They concern the prayer system."

The prayer system was a mighty referendum, held since the dawn of time. The people of Wikonia gathered their prayers on the stone tablet Devsugga, where they prayed the Almighty Lord kevan would recieve and answer them. Long ago, however, St. Iscariot had seized Devsugga, and transferred it to his church, where he cast out those who mimicked the prayers of others.

"The prayer system?" Lord Boxy muttered thoughtfully. "That is indeed a problem. Indeed, I know of these records. They contain the prayers rejected by the stone Devsugga, never brought before the Almighty Lord. It has long been my intention to transfer these orphans to Namespace. What's more, I once intended to bring all such records together in Namespace, so that they might be kept. However, it is too much a job, and in too little time. The work must remain undone."

"What?" Ross roared, perplexed and outraged. "Surely the task cannot be too large?"

Boxy nodded his head solemnly. "It is not. However, the records for the transfer would require more records still. More orphans would be made to carry this undue burden. Namespace itself could not hold them all. Such an error could not be allowed."

Ross tutted. He was utterly distressed. He couldn't fail the orphans now. "Should we commence to discuss this in a more suited terrain?" He inquired. Boxy nodded.

"Yes, we should. I shall bring it before the council, and the whole of Wikonia at Devsugga. However, we shall have to brave the combined minions of the Church of Iscariot. Are you ready for such a task?"

Ross paused for a moment, then smiled. "Let's go."

Chapter 5: In which St. Iscariot mounts a Counter-Offensive

As Boxy and Sir Rosslessness talked, a spy in a cloak listened from a nearby alley. After hearing the confirmation of the attack on Iscariot, he hastened rapidly to Devsugga, riding through the misted hills upon a small hazel pony.

As the large obelisk bore down over him, the spy dismounted his steed, and entered the adjacent building. It was a shoddy, disused building, with worn stone walls and a leaky roof. However, as the man entered the church, these factors were emasculated by the enormous mural across the far wall. It was a bemused desert, lit by a pair of blazing moons, and pinned by several large rocky structures. Although its meaning had long ago been disregarded, it stood as a mighty symbol of Iscariot's followers.

The spy approached the saint himself, and re-iterated the events to him. St. Iscariot rubbed his brow with a clammy hand. "We should leave at once!" The spy warned.

"No." Iscariot ordered. "We must stay. I shall not risk losing Devsugga to the councillors. No, this shall require a refined assault on them. We must form a counter-attack to take control of Wikonia. Only then shall the Councillors cease their futile attacks. At once, we must leave for the Admin palace. Call forth as many as you can, and tell them that I aim to institute a referendum. We shall overpower the Councillors, and force them from their throne."

The man lingered for less than a second. He was soon back on his pony, riding for the centre of Wikonia, where the Admin palace lay. Meanwhile, Iscariot turned to his mural, and pressed his hand against the small moon. It folded inwards, and a hidden draw popped out from the wall. Iscariot flicked through for a file marked 'Referendum', and withdrew a page. He smiled to himself, and slammed the draw shut, turning to mount his own steed.

By the time Iscariot arrived at the entrance to the palace, a vast crowd had already amassed. Among them stood most of the councillors, along with Sir Rosslessness, and an assortment of other citizens. Thadeous Oakley stood at the side of the crowd. He was a tall man with dark eyes, and he watched intently as Iscariot took to the stage.

As St. Iscariot arrived, his servant, Imthatguy, had already slipped in to the crowd. The Saint then turned to the people of Wikonia, and addressed them as one. "We are in a time of crisis, citizens. The Councillors have utter control over our criminal records, and they have used their powers unjustly for fraud. This is commonplace, and so, I have three commands for referendum. If these were instituted, they would immediately negate these errors."

The crowd were beginning to mumble to each other, and the Councillors exchanged nervous glances. Iscariot smirked, and then continued. "The first command is this: All the records must be kept constantly accurate, and any manipulation otherwise will result in severe penalties for the Councillor involved. Next, no Councillor may manipulate their own data, whether they can legally or not. Once again, this shall be seen as gross misconduct. Finally, no Councillor may manipulate the data without the person who's data it is consenting. I wish for these to be enforced immediately, and to apply to any prior instances on record. There shall be no statute of limitations."

At this, the crowd flew in to uproar. Cyberbob was the first to act, pointing out the obvious attempts to overthrow Boxy's power. Next came DDR, calling it unreasonable and declaring Iscariot's intentions. At the edge of the crowd, Cheese conversed with Yonnua. Cheese outlined the flaws and hypocrisies present, and the pair then entered an outrage at Iscariot's general conduct.

Imthatguy saw the issues arising, and started at an attempt to validate the referendum. However, in the chorus, his voice was cut out by the other citizens, and his comments were lost. Finally, Boxy and DDR took to the platform to oust Iscariot. Iscariot, knowing that he had failed, scowled, and mounted his jet black steed. With haste, he fled the city, moving back in to the wastes.

It didn't matter what he had said before, he needed to abandon Devsugga for now. He would return shortly, and when he did, he would finally bring down those Councillors. He was certain of it...

Chapter 6:In which the excursion of Orphans begins

As Sir Rosslessness stood in front of the high court in Admin palace, he surveyed the furrowed brows of the councillors. They all exchanged glances, and after they had done so, Boxy stood up, announcing in a booming voice: "The motion is passed. We shall immediately commence in having the orphans transferred to Namespace. We grant you as the messenger who must take them there.

Ross nodded, and left the room, ecstatic. He had nearly achieved his goal, and now, all he needed to do was take the orphans to namespace. As he left the building, not paying full attention to where he was going, he bumped in to another person, who was also hastily walking through. He looked around, and saw that it was Yonnua Koponen.

"Yonnua!" He called out. The man turned to face him.

"Ah. Sir Rosslessness, how goes your orphan quest, to journey them to Namespace?"

"It is a success. I shall now return to my camp, and begin taking them on the long trip there." Ross began. "I have only a scarce few in the city with me. Would you mind aiding me in a favour?"

Yonnua nodded, and Sir Rosslessness proceeded. "I must now continue to collect the other orphans, but there are those in town who you could help take to Namespace. Could you perform such a task for me?"

"Yes, I could. I shall gather the ones here now, and shall commence the voyage to Namespace. Good luck on your travels."

With this, the two parted, and each proceeded in opposite directions. Later that day, Yonnua proceeded from the city, with a band of orphans behind him. They set off along the road towards namespace, which peaked through the mountains like a ribbon of cloud. However, as the party reached the mountainous terrain, a shadow emerged behind them.

"Stop right there, Yonnua!" The man said, emerging from behind a boulder. It was Iscariot.

"Iscariot!" Yonnua cried. "You shall not impede us!"

Iscariot laughed. "Impede you? No. These orphans shall not even survive to be impeded. They must remain bonded to the city, whether alive or dead." With this, Iscariot drew his dagger of wikilawyer. Yonnua stepped back in defence. He had to protect the orphans for sir Rosslessness. He was only glad that it was Iscariot's dagger, and not his staff of misconbitration, that had been drawn.

Iscariot stepped forwards with malice, smirking slightly, and as he did, Yonnua unsheathed his sword.

Chapter 7: In which Iscariot and Yonnua do battle

Iscariot leapt forwards, brandishing the dagger at Yonnua, who parried to the side, whipping his own sword to chest height. The dagger of wikilawyer was a mighty weapon, crafted long ago at the dawn of Wikonia by the master smith Akule and his assistants. Now that St. Iscariot held the dagger, he was near invincible.

Yonnua had dodged the assault for now, but he might not be so lucky again. Iscariot now charged for the nearest orphan, Borehambroth, and pulled down the dagger. Fortunately enough, Yonnua held back his arm, and forced Iscariot to the ground. It was short lived however, as Iscariot took out Yonnua's legs, and the pair both collapsed on the rocky surface.

"Yonnua, you cannot aid this work." Iscariot bellowed. "If this succeeds, it shall just further the ideal of using Namespace as a hub. We can't move all of the citizens of Wikonia there, or it shall be doomed. Would you move Deadius?"

Deadius was a young street whelp from Wikonia, famous for being almost an orphan, despite being in the care of two nobles, Nubis and DCC, who lived otuside of Wikonia. Yonnua grimaced.

"You're jesting, Iscariot. Deadius is famous, and looked after. He need not have ever been sent to Namespace. We cannot issue a blanket ban on the transportation."

"But what about a full vote? It is within the power of the community to force a move to Namespace, and I have witnessed it in the past."

"The community isn't the bunch of hicks you think they are, Saint Iscariot. If you weren't so obsessed with your Councillor conspiracies, you'd see that."

Iscariot shook his head, and lifted his dagger again. "Then I guess I'll kill you and the orphans".

As Iscariot charged forwards, his dagger flew out of his hands. He paused in surprise, only to see that Cyberbob was now standing on the path beside him. He scrambled for his dagger, but the Councillor repulsed him, knocking him to the dirt.

"This isn't over." Iscariot scowled, scooping up his dagger, and sprinting away over the hills.

Cyberbob turned back to Yonnua and smiled. "We must hurry to Namespace. You have your troop, and Ross has made haste with the rest. We cannot delay any longer." Yonnua nodded, and the pair proceeded towards the town of Namespace with speed, along with the band of orphans they held.

Chapter 8: In which Ross delivers the orphans to Namespace

Sun peaked the silver hills of the Namespace valley as Sir Rosslessness descended them on horseback, with a full trail of orphans behind him in carriages. Beside him rode Magister Boxy, clothed in a dark robe. As the pair led the charge down in to the valley, they looked around. All of the hard work and preperation would soon be complete. Nothing could now interfere with their progress. Or so they believed.

The mass reached the bottom of the slope, and the town was just a few hundred metres away now. They could see it, and excitement and anticipation filled them. They knew that shortly, they would have success. Then, something caught Boxy's eye.

Standing directly in the middle of the road, between them and Namespace, was Iscariot. He was unarmed, and had a deep cut across his face from his previous battle, but nonetheless, the group slowed to a halt. They should have known that Iscariot wouldn't give up just yet. But he didn't really seem a threat.

Then, he stepped aside, revealing the orphan that was held at knife-point behind him. It was Duccan, and Ross had gone too far to give up a single orphan now.

"It's over, Ross." Iscariot yelled. "Now, turn around, or this orphan will be gone. And before you think about intervening, Boxy, I'll point out that I have you surrounded."

Hearing a click, Boxy and Ross turned to see a pair of archers standing in the hills behind them. Poodle of Doom and Misanthropy had both aligned behind Iscariot, and their bows were aimed precisely at the two knights. They were defencless.

"I refuse to give up!" Sir Rosslessness shouted. "I shall not rest until Wikonia is safe. These orphans must move to Namespace."

Boxy turned to Ross and nodded. Ross understood immediately, and before Iscariot could react, he pulled out his sword, and threw it at Iscariot. The Saint ducked, letting go of Duccan, who Ross immediately ran to. As he did, the archers fired, but Boxy deflected their attacks with his mighty Bureaucrat Blade, and turned on Iscariot. With a quick slam of his heavy sword, Iscariot was on the floor, defeated.

He waved his hand to the archers, who fled over the cliffs. Boxy lifted his blade, and Iscariot followed suit. However, it was still far from over. Iscariot, in a brilliant contingency plan, had released a sealed form of 3page to cause chaos and fell his enemies. A crack of thunder hit the adventurers, and they turned to the skies to see an ominous beast.

It was Lazurman. But now, he was far more powerful. He had grown to nearly twice his size, and had enormous bat-like wings hanging from his husk. His hands were adorned by claws like razors, with the force of boulders. He flapped his way down in to the valley, and let out a terrifying roar. As he landed, he smashed Boxy to the side with his forearm. The Magister collapsed, unconcscious. It was now down to Ross to stop the beast.

Ross charged forwards, slashing with his sword, but lazurman fired a beam of energy from its mouth, launching Ross to the ground. It was unscathed by the attack, and it looked like there was no hope. However, over the peak of the hills came the flash of sun off of a sword. It was Cyberbob.

Cyberbob descended the hillside on his steed in an instant, charging with his sword of vandal banning raised high. Lazurman began to turn to anticipate the assault, but Ross stabbed his sword in to the beast's leg, and it turned back at him, preparing another laser.

However, it didn't have time to attack. Cyberbob arrived in a flurry of slashes, and the sword of Vandal Banning made short work of Lazurman. Soon, all that was left was a pile of dust. Cyberbob was soon joined by Yonnua, who had roused Boxy from his unconsciousness. The pair joined Ross and Cyberbob. Then, they turned towards Namespace, and entered the town, finishing the epic goal of Sir Rosslessness to bring the orphans here to safety.

Later, after the orphans had all been distributed to homes, Yonnua came to Ross, with an orphan in tow. "This is Larius Volutionus" Yonnua stated. "He is the last orphan, but there is no-one to cater for him. He was hit by Iscariot's cursed blade in the confusion, and nobody shall take the responsibility."

Ross scratched his chin. He had not foreseen that one would be cursed by the blade of wikilawyer, and now there was only one option left. "I shall take him as my ward." Ross said, and the small boy ran over to join Ross.

"But this is not the end." Rosslessness commented. "There shall be more orphans, more battles to fight, and only we will be able to stop them."

So, as the sun slowly set over the hills of the valley of Namespace, the four men stood in the town which now housed the orphans that had been taken through this journey, and they conversed until night came. But when it did, it brought a whole new surprise...

Other

What is Barhah?

•a strong positive emotion of regard and affection; "his Barhah for his work"; "children need a lot of Barhah"

•any object of warm affection or devotion; "the theater was her first Barhah"; "he has a passion for cock fighting";

•have a great affection or liking for; "I Barhah French food"; "She Bar-HAHZ her boss and works hard for him"

•bebarhahrd: a bebarhahrd person; used as terms of endearment

•get pleasure from; "I Barhah cooking"

•a deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction; "their barhah left them indifferent to their surroundings"; "she was his first barhah"

•be enamored or in Barhah with; "She Bar-HAHZ her husband deeply"

•a score of zero in tennis or squash; "it was 40 Barhah"

•sleep together: have sexual intercourse with; "This student sleeps with everyone in her dorm"; "Adam knew Eve"; "Were you ever intimate with this man?"

•sexual Barhah: sexual activities (often including sexual intercourse) between two people; "his Barhah-making disgusted her"; "he hadn't had any Barhah in months"; "he has a very complicated Barhah life"

•"Barhah?" was the Irish entry in the Eurovision Song Contest 2005, performed in English by Donna and Joe.

•Barhah is any of a number of emotions related to a sense of strong affectionOxford Illustrated American Dictionary (1998) + Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary (2000) and attachment. ...

•A-Barhah is a female Australian based MC from Melbourne. Her debut album, Ace of Hearts was nominated 'Best Urban Release' in the ARIA Music Awards of 2008.

•bArhah is a free cross-platform 2D framework for computer games development. It is completely driven by the Lua programming language.

•A Barhah (사랑 - Sarang) is a 2007 South Korean film directed by Kwak Kyung-taek. Kwak Kyung-taek's most notable film is Chingoo. A Barhah stars Ju Jin-mo from 200 Pounds Beauty and Park Si-yeon.

So basically Barhah is love... :P

--Yonnua Koponen ^{Talk ! Contribs} 23:12, 12 July 2010 (BST)

The Abstract Painting

George was staring at the painting. It was abstract, and he found it severely out of place. He was in a derelict building; a once-proud mansion turned in to a disused slum.

But that was how the world was now. The virus had metastasised across the globe, and no city was left unscathed. Those who were infected became brain-dead hulks, and those who survived had a half-life, fighting for survival at all costs.

This painting represented freedom. The freedom to express yourself in a way unheard of at the time; to dream of new styles; to live as a complete human being. Such an embodiment of freedom was completely out of place here.

George heard a load groan from outside and shambled off, leaving the painting to rot in the old manor house.