User talk:Biff Chitts

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Hi fans!

Howdy guys n gals. Yes....your eyes are not mistaken! I am THE Biff Chitts! Star of such action classics as Fighting Chance, Running Scared, and Pumped full of Justice. Now i know its a bit special, and it kinda makes your day when you spot a celebrity like myself in this crazy place, but please understand, though my ego is fairly large..i am very approachable. Come on over and say hi anytime, i'll glady autograph anything you like.--Biff Chitts 10:51, 7 March 2008 (UTC)

Very sorry to break the news Biff, but your enitre fan club was meeting up for the AGM in Quarlsbank when the crisis started! all 127000 members became zombies, have you noticed the tears in thier rotton eye sockets as they try to eat you?--Silent badger 14:09, 14 March 2008 (UTC)

Then i shall make it my mission to revive each and every one of them, so they can enjoy my excellence once again. Oh and no, Silent Badger, you don't need to give me oral pleasures for an autograph. I will glady write one for you for nothing but being a fan.--Biff Chitts 11:38, 18 March 2008 (UTC)

Too late I did it while you slept--Silent badger 16:52, 18 March 2008 (UTC)

hmm. I thought I was feeling a little less stressed lately. While im awake would be better, next time though.--Biff Chitts 12:39, 19 March 2008 (UTC).

You know, Biff, the entire Flood clan are great fans of your films. My brother would be quite excited to meet you, if only I knew where in Malton to find him.--Amy Flood 04:11, 26 March 2008 (UTC)

(blush) It's always great to discover new fans. It'd be great if we found your brother, and i'd be glad to meet him too, cos I know it'd make you happy to know hes alive and well. We all need a little happiness in this shit reality. Im sure hes doin' fine someplace. --Biff Chitts 12:28, 26 March 2008 (UTC)

THE Biff Chitts! *Rakuen Faints*--/~Rakuen~\Talk Domo.gif I Still Love Grim 05:12, 3 April 2008 (BST)

Are you sure thats the full list of Biffs films? I'm sure that I've seen a clip of something on Utube called "Truncheon Trouble", some sort of early film, pre fame etc. Looked like it was about jail inmates, in a very hot country, where cotton is too expensive to waste on clothing for sweaty jailbirds? Might have been a wrestling film? or something like that. --Silent badger 11:04, 22 April 2008 (BST)

Oh how you josh, old bean.I can firmly assure you that I was NOT in any film of that genre. I know that many of your kind wish there was such a film, as I have (or should that be had) quite a gay following. A tip: next time youre watching that film, close your eyes and pretend its me, while you do your thing.--Biff Chitts 11:18, 23 April 2008 (BST)

Not in films of that genre? thought it was some arthouse flick? or something. Anyway i now see its Biff with one f so must be someone else else :) --Silent badger 13:43, 25 April 2008 (BST)

{manly voice} er.. good..Im glad that has been properly established.....and anyhow..why were you watching those sort of films?!?--Biff Chitts 10:20, 26 April 2008 (BST)

Was on at the Cornford next door, seemed popular with the extinction crowd, just caught snippets while i was smiting them might'e'ly--Silent badger 13:34, 2 May 2008 (BST)

smiting them...ive never heard it called that before. Hope you had a wash afterwards.--Biff Chitts 10:33, 3 May 2008 (BST)

I'm rewriting my history, trying to make it funnier and more interesting. It'll be back eventually.--Amy Flood 18:04, 21 July 2008 (BST)