We are Trolls!

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We are Trolls!
Abbreviation: WAT!
Group Numbers: We dont know
Leadership: None yet
Goals: Find our Bridge!
Recruitment Policy: Any lost Troll seeking a bridge to call home (Add: We are Trolls! to group)
Contact: talk page

We are Trolls! is a group of "zombies" who have had an adverse reaction to being headshot and now believe that they are Trolls. They are seeking their lost bridge, which they are certain is somewhere nearby.

Have you seen our bridge?

We left it right here. It's big, gray, and weighs several hundred tons. It can't have just grown a pair of legs and walked away!

Bridge Log

A log of our travels in search of our missing bridge.


  • 2nd of October, 2007
Trolls awaken. Bridge is missing. Much consternation. We check behind the dumpster, just to be sure. We shamble over to nearby Penny Heights to have a look, following a trail of destruction and giant drag marks in the ashpalt. --Gorbonzo
  • 3rd of October, 2007
Stood around in the middle of town outside a strange crumbling building hoping bridge would come back. Tried looking up, in case bridge was on roof. Sadly, no bridge. Just birds who poop at inconvenient times. --Gorbonzo
  • 3rd of October, 2007
Waken hungry. No bridge around. Found brige, but bridge weak so it breaks. Found some humans. Baked pie from humans. No longer hungry, but no bridge. --Baker Troll
  • 8th of October, 2007
Broke into the Leggetter Motel. Asked the occupants if they knew where our bridge was. They seem to be ignoring me. This is most inconsiderate of them.
Update. The poor man appeared to be about to tell me something when one of our brethren, who seemed to think he was some kind of zombie, attacked him and dragged him off onto the streets and, this is disgusting, ate his brains. I dont care what he thinks he is, thats just wrong. I flipped through some of the pamphlets in the area searching for anything of import, but then another human walked through, and ignored my attempts to communicate in favour of shooting me repeatedly with a strange metal tube. I dont remember people being able to do that.
However, after narrowly escaping death at his hands (Temporary, only. Doesnt he realise we trolls regenerate?) i fell behind the bar. There i found a brochure for something called The Bridge Museum, that resides in a place called Brooksville. Perhaps that is where our bridge has gone. Come brothers, we must investigate. --Gorbonzo 22:41, 8 October 2007 (BST)


  • 3rd of November
Found big church in Yagoton. Lots of trolls there. Asked for a bridge, but no answer. Several humans appeared. They stung some trolls there with a needle. Trolls fell aslep. When trolls awakened, they were human. Yuk. I baked pie with some humans there. --Baker Troll 17:05, 4 November 2007 (UTC)
  • 7th of November
Other humans appeared, they didnt like me being there and started hiting me with axes, and making loud noises with some iron toys. Fell asleep. Waked tired. My head hurts. --Baker Troll 08:50, 7 November 2007 (UTC)
  • 9th of November
Found myself in the so called "Zombie" homeland. There was a pitched battle going on, and i found myself outside an old run down police station, named Moggridge Place Police Department. It Rhymes with Bridge. There must be information inside invaluable to our quest.
I walked inside and found a fellow troll, though still highly delusional given the amount of slobbering going on, though that was understandable given the fact that two specimens of homo sapiens were located in the immediate vicinity. I wandered over to ask them if they had seen our bridge, but they called me a "zombie" and told me to fuck off. It appears that this delusion of undeath has spread beyond our species boundaries. Perhaps they didnt know what trolls were before? Anyway, for thier insolence i tossed them out the window where my fellow trolls fell upon them and... ew... ate their brains. I love a good human style sausage any day of the week, but there are just some things you should not eat.
In any case, i tore the building apart searching for information on our bridge. I found none. Perhaps tomorrow i shall have better luck. --Gorbonzo 18:05, 10 November 2007 (UTC)
  • 10th of November
I woke up on the pavement. Some inconsiderate bastard had beaten me to a stupor with a crowbar. How damned inconsiderate. Its not like theres a bloody war on you know! you could have just left me in peace! The bastard had even taken the time to stack up furnature and tables to block my entry. What an utter bastard.
I quickly and nimbly removed these obstacles and charges back inside, with revenge on my mind, and found the offender taking a nap on the table. The little shit had even undone all of last nights searching work, putting things away in all new places. ARGH! Ill have to start again!
I quickly called in one of the local delusionals who happily carried the bastard off to his well deserved fate, and set about searching the building for mentions of our fabled bridge. Though i have found nothing as of this moment, i am confident that all will be revealed soon. --Gorbonzo 18:05, 10 November 2007 (UTC)
  • 10th of November
The iron toys who make loud noises are not toys. They shot iron rocks, and that hurts me. Several humans hurt Baker Troll with them. After they shot several iron rocks, Baker Troll sleeps, and most time wakes with head hurting and bad mood. Bakes human pie to better mood. Yummie. --Baker Troll 09:36, 10 November 2007 (UTC)
  • 13rd of November
Annoying big church. Found no bridge there. Trolls there were all humans in disguise all the time. Baked severals pies there. Created hidden stash of pies. Har Har Har. A human spoke of Legendary Trolls in building name Crossman. Said that was the right place for me. Tried to bake pie out of him, but he shot me with iron toys. Fell asleep again. Head hurts. Need bridge to help head stop hurting. --Baker Troll 14:22, 13 November 2007 (UTC)
  • 24th of November
Found Crossman Building weeks ago. There was some few trolls outside building trying to get in. Helped em. Found some humans inside dressed in blue. Baked blue human pie. Yummie. Fellow trolls eaten human brains. Yuk. Human pie much better. Been looking for maps of Bridge, but none found. Found a Legendary Troll. He looks like human with huge beard. He yells something and then shot me. I think he doesnt like other Trolls in his territory. I'll bake a pie of him next time. Har har har. Baker pie wonders were brother is. Brother must have found bridge. Brother lots smarter than Baker Troll --Baker Troll 21:30, 24 November 2007 (UTC)
  • 27th of November
I am still within the area the humans call Ridleybank. I found a place called filled with stuffed animals called the Musgrove Museum and have locked myself in against all intrusion. Secure in my safety, I have begun examining the building. Astonishing, my intellect returns as humans refrain from spraying my brains outside my head. Remarkable. There is much material here to examine. I have no doubt that i shall soon translate these arcane scrawls humans seem to use for storing information. There are a lot of different ones, which is puzzling given their rather limited vocabulary. Perhaps the ones in this place are stupid? There must be something i am missing here. In any case, it is time for sleep. Perhaps tonight i shall go to sleep with the Wooly Mammoth. --Gorbonzo 16:27, 27 November 2007 (UTC)

January 2008

  • 2nd of January
Annoyng humans and their annoying and loud firecrackers. Baker Troll was sleeping under a bridge Baker Troll built with human bones. Humans appeared and started firing millions of firecrackers into the sky. It was loud, and bright. They awaken Baker Troll from his sleep. Again. They will pay for that. Baker Troll will crush humans and bake a montain of pies, high enough to reach the moon. Moon pie must be delicious. Lots of Cheese. Yummie. --Baker Troll16:19, 2 January 2008 (UTC)
I know of a Bridge with lots of pie ... check the Sanitarium - Bisfan 07:49, 3 January 2008 (UTC)