All tricks, no treats

Survivors massacred as PKA brings Hildebrand Mall to its knees

Story by The Reporter

Countless survivors in the Roftwood suburb will be waking up without a pulse today, thanks to an attack last night by the PKA and its affiliates on the besieged Hildebrand Mall.

The attack has been named the "Samhain Slaughter", and has been hailed as major success by spokesmen of the PKA. The assault, which has been in secret planning for nearly a month, was carried out between 1800 GMT - 0000 GMT last night. At last count, 73 bodies have been brought out in wheel barrows. Bringing together the Player Killer groups of the Philosophe Knights, the Flowers of Disease, the Creedy Guerilla Raiders, and other PKA groups, the formidable force swept a path of destruction through the mall, cleaning it out and leaving it prime for zombie attack.

Local survivor groups have been blaiming the attack on rogue zombie groups with devious revival tactics, such as Pyrranha, a local Danger Status updater, who confidently announced "A huge PKing sweep devastated one corner of the mall today. Profile checks indicate that revivified zombies of various nefarious groups are to blame." He concluded with, "Seems that the zombies are having to resort to life to make any headway."

However, the BBC can uncover the truth behind the attack. Just before the attack, DT of the PK transmit this over the airways:

"Come together, oh spirits,

ye bogey, ye beast,

to the night of all nights,

the grand Samhain feast!

The livestock are all coming;

sheep bleat before the knife,

we’ll wear their clothing to hide us

and then we take all life.

Hear me demons of the dark

and ye ghosts of the night

they are afraid of the shadow;

let us turn out every light!

Bring your friends and your fellows

to the Hill we shall meet,

in the dark, gloomy Rot-wood,

we shall force light to retreat.

The Blighted Flowers and Angry Children

Thoughtful Knights and Seraphim

converge upon one building

to feast on those within!

Mall rats hear me now:

Your deaths bring great elation

for tonight is the night

of the Samhain Celebration!"

When questioned about the attack, the PKA released this statement; "Well, it was blatantly us." Gregg Bayes, Leighton Kru member, told the BBC today. "It's great to see the PKA on form, doing what they do best, killing people. It's just a shame the kru weren't there, we were held up cutting people. Even still, it's good that we are seeing a more united PKA here, it should be good for business for the morgues around Malton, which have been seeing a steady decline in business ever since the outbreak." The BBC was on the scene of the attack, and has managed to secure exclusive footage.