Beatbox Kids/DDR's Travelogue/Season 1
Season 1 of DanceDanceRevolution's Travelogue. Suburbs logged:
- Ketchelbank
- Havercroft
- Wykewood
- East Becktown
- Whittenside/Pennville
Please leave feedback to this travelogue in the DDR's Travelogue Discussion Page, not Season 1's disc. page. Thanks.
Enjoy!
Ketchelbank
Ketchelbank is home to The Malton Zookeepers, who, despite the fact that spend their life on a zombie MMORPG, tend to take pride in their ability to care for the animals. And what's wrong with that? Although it's needless to say they would be better off in Nintendogs or Neopets, no one can deny these kids are tough guns. The Zookeepers also make it seem so much like home. As a survivor entering Ketchelbank, you are surrounded by scores of zombies in a heartbeat, and upon entering the surrounded building you will find 3 survivors, all of which tend to the needs of the zoo. The spraypainting on the wall will say 'barricading proudly done by the Zookeepers' and for a second, you feel the warmth of the hearts of the Zookeepers. You can really see that these guys make those barricades with love. Hopefully not the same love they treat the animals too.
Radio station to listen to:
#27.19 MHz: "You're back with Odd Bob on Malton Zoo Radio. Today's show is sponsored by Johnson's Sperm Bank - You're In Good Hands." (exactly 4 hours ago)
Place to visit:
Besides the amazing zoo, make sure you check out The Russel Building, which is constantly under attack from 8 level 1 zombies. Real Scary.
Havercroft
Ok, So let me get this straight. Zombies are dumb. Zombies with brain rot are even dumber. So how come they are clever enough to have one lone zombie standing there, begging for me to hit him, and just as I do, 15 zombies come out from the building and kill me in 8 seconds flat? There are many things wrong with this:
- I got outsmarted by a group of zombies
- My toribashing skills didn't help, let alone my axe.
- It was outside a club, where dancing is what is considered cool
Maybe they deserve the credit. However, apparently the average IQ for zombies is the same in Havercroft as it is for every other suburb, which means that yes, there are some REALLY stupid zombies around in Havercroft. Want some XP? hang around the NW part of Ackland Mall and wait for the same lone zombie with 3hp to stand up and attack the barricades at 4:30 each day. It's a scream.
Another interesting thing about Havercroft is that the zombies are the only lively aspect of the suburb, everyone is either in the mall NOT speaking or transmitting broadcasts, or they are dead at the cemetery (53 zeds and counting). Updade: Want to know why this is? upon warning the people of the mall of an incoming zombie horde, I was killed on the spot by a random mall looter. It appears that people who dare to speak get PK'ed on the spot. These mall goers have really succeeded in making Havercroft a town of silence.
Radio station to listen to:
Nothing, no one broadcasts anything. Good luck trying to ask for directions.
Place to visit:
Need I tell you? Club Maule, where the Zeds are smart and the SWAT tactics are unforgettable.
Wykewood
Wykewood is the Teamkiller's dream. There's PKing and ZKing all over the place. And the only way there would be GKing in this suburb is if a generator killed another generator. That's right, killing someone of your own species is so popular you'd think you would think you're in Lebanon. Within 15 minutes of entering the borders I had been slain by an apparent 'pro survivor', and upon joining a passing zombie horde (because no one would revive me), I was slain no less than 7 times in the week I spent here, once EVERY night. So it seems when you are in Wykewood, you can't win, Human or Zombie. I was even attacked when I lay down and refused to stand up as a zombie. I really am quite worried over what would happen if these people met the survivors of Pescodside.
Radio Station to listen to:
# 28.01 MHz:
28.01 MHz: "I COULD PUNCH U SO HARD U WOULD FLIP UPSIDE DOWN FTW FTW!!!!" (32 minutes ago)
28.01 MHz: "rEaL_gAmERz#FTW!!!! #hErE 2 STaY BUDDY BOY# NVR SURRENDER!!!" (32 minutes ago)
28.01 MHz: "4 LIFE BUDDY!!! RETARDED!!! THINK ABOUT IT LOSER!!! FTW FTW" (32 minutes ago)
28.01 MHz: "WE GONNA COME ROUND 2 UR HOUSE# SHOE U IN THE C0CKS SO HARD!" (32 minutes ago)
28.01 MHz: "CRUSH U LIKE A HOBO UNDER THE WHEELS OF MY FIREBIRD!!! LOOLL" (31 minutes ago)
Note: this continued on, 4 broadcasts every minute for half an hour. until it came to this:
28.01 MHz: "HOW MANY TIME U GONNA TALK TOUGH IWT NO ACTION???STFU LOSER" (3 minutes ago)
28.01 MHz: "TAKING DRUGS DOESNT MAKE U A MAN# ONLY VALIANT ACTIONS DO!!!" (2 minutes ago)
28.01 MHz: "...Waiting to hear your location so I can blast you ..." *static* "...ers." (2 minutes ago)
Riveting, mature and sophisticated, isn't it? I can tell Finnis would fit in well here.
Place to visit:
Adalbert General Hospital, where there is currently a 'siege' going on. It currently involves Zeds invading a hospital full of Zeds, killing each other, and sleeping the night before rising again and repeating the same task monotonously. I became involved in this event for yet another wasted week of my life before realizing what was going on.
East Becktown [small review based on a small visit]
When I saw there was a new ghost town in Malton, I decided to travel South East from Havercroft in order to catch it before it became a yellow town and therefore had no reason for visiting (like Richmond Hills.... grrrrrrahgr). Unfortunately my female instincts emerged and my map reading took me a block and a half in the opposite direction to an unimportant suburb called East Becktown. This review is going to be small, and thats because in my small visit, and the courage in this wimpy town is small. I checked the barricade plan and EVERY building except one is barricaded. How poor. I spat on this town, entered the one VSB building and barricaded it until I could do so no more. That'll teach the paranoid bitches.
They must have put all the pussies from West Becktown and put them in East Becktown. Well thanks to me the West don't have to worry about it anymore.
Whittenside/Pennville (home of FORT PERRYN!)
Let's get this straight: Perryn is fun. Are you sick of living alone? Wish to find a place where you can have NO fear of dying? jump into Fort Perryn and idle there with other sedentary retards like yourself.
Ok, so there are 3 types of survivors in Perryn.
- The brave warriors who stay at the gatehouse and defend with valiant arms. The zombies that attack are taken back with desperate fire, and dumped on top of the 81 other dead bodies outside the fort. They perish like heroes and always return as fast as they can to fight for what they believe in.
- The second group is about the same size. They stay 1 block north of the gatehouse, in the Armoury. They idle there for weeks, struggling to horde weapons despite the piss poor pickup chances. They NEVER defend the building, and complain when an FU spy comes in and destroys their generator.
- Ignore this group. They consist of about 6 people, all of which sit outside the buildings, but inside the fort gates, in safety. They do nothing. I could only assume they were sunbaking.
Perryn is one of the weirdest places I've been. While is says Perryn is the 'last hope for humanity', I have found the people in there act in the exact opposite interests. People come in begging for heals, begging the idlers in the Armoury to help the attacks on the gatehouse, and not a single person does. Everyone is egocentric and idiotically and embarrassingly self centered. The only communication the Armoury kids do is over the radio, which is commonly used to talk to the masses of the fort, all blocks of which listen and talk over the same frequency, which is admittedly a very effective way of communicating. However, it's needless to say that the arseholes misuse this strategy.
- 26.20 MHz: "NEED HELP URGENTLY, ZEDS BREACHED NT BUILDING, IF WE LOSE THE NT WE LOSE FORT PERRYN, NO REVIVES, QUICKLY HELP WE ONLY NEED A SMALL GROUP PLEASE THANKS" (15 minutes ago)
- 26.20 MHz: "Need help in gatehouse!, to the 200 people in the Armoury! WE NEED HELP! You shouldn't be there, you should be helping protect the fort!" (13 minutes ago)
- 26.20 MHz: "OMG EVERYONE, COME TO THE ARMORY. WE ARE GOING TO DIE RRF ARE COMING OMG WE ARE GOING TO DIE. QUICKLY, GO TO ARMORY AND STOCK UP WEAPONS TO FIGHT" (3 minutes ago)
...Ugh. The RRF were in Dulston, exactly 10 suburbs to the north at the time, which showed how amazingly pathetic the people in the armory truly were at relaying information through the broadcasts.
Also of note: after running out of AP, I came back to the armory to find a notorious GKer who had killed the Armory generator 3 times now. I told them about the GKer, and that anyone 'who wants to be a hero should waste the bastard.' Needless to say, my requests were met with cries of angst from the 'eventual' arrival of the RRF.
Also of Also of note: If you do decide to travel to this place, do not pay attention to the flares being fired. Serial Flare Pests are all over the place.
A flare was fired 1 block to the south. [85-91] (13 hours and 46 minutes ago)
A flare was fired 5 blocks to the south. [85-95] (12 hours and 58 minutes ago)
A flare was fired 6 blocks to the east and 14 blocks to the north. [91-76] (11 hours and 18 minutes ago)
A flare was fired 10 blocks to the east and 5 blocks to the south. [95-95] (5 hours and 19 minutes ago)
Okay, so that raps up my log of Fort Perryn. If this is really Malton's last hope for mankind, I'm going to give up playing.
Radio station to listen to:
# 26.20 MHz:
Read the above if you couldn't be bothered (or if you have a horrible memory) for your reason why. This is your chance to become truly assimilated into Fort Perryn Culture.
Place to visit:
The Armoury. Where everyone does nothing, even if a PKer comes in and performs a double homicide for fun:
Thom Flask killed Damien069. (14 hours and 15 minutes ago)
Thom Flask said "If it helps, I had him marked as an enemy. I forget why, but I'm sure he was a very bad person." (14 hours and 14 minutes ago)
Thom Flask said "Honestly, I" (14 hours and 14 minutes ago)
Thom Flask said "...can't type, apparently. Don't mind me, I'm just your neighborhood friendly illiterate PKer." (14 hours and 13 minutes ago)
Thom Flask killed The Galvatron. (14 hours and 12 minutes ago)
Thom Flask said "Yeah, I have no excuse for that one. I just didn't like his face." (14 hours and 12 minutes ago)
The Small DDR Malltour
In a decision to go onto an anti-siege malltour, I have taken a break from creating travelogues but decided to stick my small mall defending experiences into the travelogue itself.
Pole Mall
Outcome: Success!
Helped defend the 3 block Pole Mall. There were about 170 zombies and they breached the NW mall constantly. I fought alongside a bunch of Jews who killed, healed and barricaded. God they're tough. If it weren't for the Jews, West Grayside's consumer possibilities would have gone down the toilet. Special mentions go to the regular bunch of idiots who stayed in the wrong side of the mall through the whole siege, before continuing to cry over how we were "all going to die".
Woodroffe Mall
Outcome: Failure...
After feeling invincible from the win at Pole Mall, I immediately went NE to Woodroffe mall, which was, at the time, under attack from the same amount of zombies. With me on my travels was Guy the Firefighter, who, at Pole Mall, was interested in my travels and decided to come with me. I arrived there, used my last AP to get into the mall, and sat down, ready to beat some zombies senseless the next day. Unfortunately, thanks to my amazing timing, within exactly 6 minutes of falling asleep, the LUE busted open the mall and slaughtered everyone.
So, my mall conquest was cut short in favor of having myself sitting in the nearest cemetery and getting constantly slapped for 3 damage by a zombie I recognize as Guy the Firefighter, once every half an hour. I suppose there's only one more thing to do. Look for another mall!
Other Malls
The other malls I went were ruined, so I just passed them on my way back to Santlerville to have a break from traveling.
- Nichols Mall
- Hildebrand Mall
- Tynte Mall
