Channel 4 News Team Hotline

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They bring you the news

So you don't have to get it yourself

In other words, if you have anything, then post it.


Lovelock Plaza Police Department and the surrounding building are TOAST. This is a much greater threat than a few dumb Pk'ers in the mall. SOS please and syringes might be a good idea...


The DHPD was completely overrun over the weekend, every things was lost... we've fallen back and are putting out a call for assistance... Most Officers are dead or dying... --Marty Banks (aka. Mundane) <DHPD> 19:36, 5 March 2007 (UTC)


Ron you should get teh whole New Colossus to Ridlybank because there sum new defense plan with the malls nearby. You should check it out.-havoc3147 11:29, Feburary 8 2007 (TechCom)


Come back Ron Burgundy! We need your help! -Ruar 06:54, 13 January 2007 (UTC)


ron where are you?--SexualharrisonMalton Rangers 13:57, 2 January 2007 (UTC)


Shacknews is done. They ransacked 2 corners of Giddings and the reserves keep pouring in for the delicious holiday tinged buffet. The last of the old Human Strongholds that left a bad taste in zombie memories has fallen. With the fall of Giddings, Shacknews has publicly stated that they are retiring. Individual zombies will of course flock to other banners, but Shacknews as an entity is ending. Thanks to all who helped the Horde and a salute to our classy foes. We love you all. --FyunchClick 01:37, 19 December 2006 (UTC)



Almost immediately after ransacking the Whippey NecroTech facility, Shacknews has ransacked one corner of Stickling Mall. With the PTT ordering a retreat before the mall corner was even attacked, there is no survivor group in the area capable of reclaiming the mall. Stickling, thought to be far stronger than the rotted-from-the-inside husk Caiger had proved to be, fell even faster. Axons Amok 19:52, 9 December 2006 (UTC)


After only 36 hours, Shacknews has sacked Bale Mall of Yagoton! Swift death came quickly for any survivor caught out sleeping in the many department stalls. The southeast corner was first to be broken into, as the number of survivors there was low. It has been suspected, but not confirmed, that Shacknews is fighting this new 'Mall tour' with dirty, underhand tactics - using GKers and zombie spies inside to bring down the barricades...

The Brave defenders of Bale mall will live on in Odin's presence, may they have much mead and red meat for all eternity! --Dux Ducis 22:17, 21 November 2006 (UTC)



Gangbang! Harmans bang bang! Mrh? Braaah! Grahah! Rrrr. Rh. Rhhhh!

Translation: "This is Jon Pyre reporting from Caiger Mall! The mall is ransacked with over a hundred zombies inside! As you can see by my gray palor and newfound eloquence I have been converted into one of the living dead along with many other residents of the former survivor bastion. The northwest corner is ransacked and it seems the only choice for the remaining few hundred are to flee or die. More as this develops. From the shambling hordes of undeath this is Jon Pyre reporting for Channel 4 news." --Jon Pyre 10:01, 10 November 2006 (UTC)



FLASH!!! Caiger Mall has been breached. A combination of Gk'ers, Pk'ers and the Zombies outside have crippled the defense of the Mall.

At this time, no organizational leadership has taken charge. Apathy seems to be the order of the day. No one can truly compete with the horde outside and at the same time, handle the almost hourly Pk and Gk strikes.

With so many of their ranks decimated by internal attacks (the GK, PK and simple griefers) and the lack of a real C3 system, the malls defenses appear to finally have collapsed under the weight of those players set on destroying the only truly survivor controlled space by any means necessary. Nicks 01:15, 4 November 2006 (UTC)


After days of heavy zombie attacks and equally ferocious counterassaults by survivors, the Latrobe Building near Caiger Mall has been ransacked. Currently there are over 100 zombies standing in the building. Whether or not this is a large enough force to maintain the ransack until tomorrow evening remains to be seen. Axons Amok 05:03, 2 November 2006 (UTC)


The Feral Undead have begun their Trick or Treat Campaign in Pennville. This will be a building-by-building seige in which the participants are wearing ridiculous costumes. Daily updates can be found on the Feral Undead forum. Thanks. --Gut stench FU BAR 21:17, 24 October 2006 (BST)


More information on the Shacknews zombie habits can be found in the notes from the Shacknews Resistance research group. This dedicated, yet splintered, group of survivors has taken to tracking this dangerous new horde to learn more about it and inform other survivor groups of any successful tactics they may learn. So far the research is extremely academic, with more practical results expected in the future. -DanteSck 04:41, 17 October 2006 (BST)


major break in at the blackmore, 110 zmobies inside, less than 70 humans still alive. vanis314 13:13, 13 October 2006 (BST)


Scientists in Ridleybank have recently discovered a form of "Zombie Deoderant" that would help mask the massive amounts of zombie B.O. wafting from the vicinity of the Blackmore Building. Unfortunatly, the team sent to test the new spray was instantly devoured, probably because they decided to test the deoderant right after a full lobster dinner. Needless to say, the zombies were more interested in lobster-stuffed Harmanz than of smelling hot for their next date.

The sample vial of deoderant is presumed lost, supposedly devoured by one of the over-eager zombies, and the residents of the Blackmore Building have gone back to wearing scavanged face-masks spritzed with lemon after a pre-mature celebratory bonfire. If anyone happens to come across a zombie with flatulence that smells of sunshine and roses, please contact the Channel 4 News Team. (27.04 on your local radio station.) --Raynre 21:39, 2 October 2006 (BST)


Elvis has been spotted riding Shergar in Darvall Heights, onlookers claim he appears 'confused and bewildered'.



Yagoton mourns as seventeen lay slain in what some are calling The Second Massacre of Yagoton. Admist a mass amount of drama, slander, and confusion, the Yagoton community tries as best it can to make sense out of this madness.


The Blackmore Building is holding, but Darrien Creek of the YRC reports a distinct lack of FAKs for the wounded available. Medical support IS needed.


Marven Mall in South Blythville is now safe. The siege has ended, with only a handful of zombies anywhere near the mall. Nice work, team. --Christian Bond 18:33, 9 August 2006 (BST)


Calvert Mall has fallen, zombies control it. McMuffin 22:31, 8 August 2006 (BST)


St. Isidore's Church in Darvall Heights is under attack. (and you guys should get a character with a mobile phone so people can call in tips and news events in-game) McMuffin 22:31, 8 August 2006 (BST)


Bunge was PK'ed in Caiger by clitoris, a member of the Channel 4 News Team. Very disappointing.


In accordance with the newly articulated River Tactics, the DEM officers that were operating in NE-4 (Shearbank, Randallbank, Ridleybank, Roachtown and Pimbank) have moved into the wake of the Big Bash to clean up behind them. We encourage survivors to flow into the wake of the Big Bash and help the community get back up on it's feet. - July 26 Kiki Lottaboobs - MPD


The DHPD was forced to pull out in the wake of an increasing number of donut hungry zombies... They set the bakery on fire... The large group of grumpy corpes have murdered the llama and also many residents of Dunnel Hills. - July 12 Marty Banks - DHPD


The SW corner of Hildebrand mall was ransacked by The Big Bash by a member of TSO named Karlsbad. --Karlsbad 02:33, 21 July 2006 (BST)


We have reports of over 200 zombies outside of Caiger Mall. Nothing confirmed yet. Stay tuned for more details. Stay Classy. --Christian Bond 19:38, 21 July 2006 (BST)


Don't know if anyone else has been in Stanbury Village recently but I dropped by to pick up some bullets at Nichols and a scan fron the Went building revealed even fewer standing zeds than in Ridleybank. Somebody who's more wiki literate than I should downgrade the suburb to Moderate at the least, and maybe even Safe. -Tyler Whitney0 2:00 pm (EST), 22 August 2006

How many zombies did you spot? The NTs there have no power and I can't get on the net.  :( --Ron Burgundy 04:56, 27 August 2006 (BST)

Hardly any, only a few groups and none larger than five zombies. That was a while ago though, I'm back at Nichols now and I'll do another scan in a minute...

Okay, 34 total zeds within necronet range of the Went building at [59,55]. There's one group of six and another of five and the rest are even smaller than that. -Tyler Whitney0 10:20 pm (EST), 29 August 2006



The Malton Mirror is in service... ["Here at the MM HQ!"]

The last 'official' edition of Malton's alternative news source, the morning paper, seen here in Technicolor.
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