Clean Air Reclamators

Clean Air Reclamators
Abbreviation:	CAR
Group Numbers:	4 confirmed members
Leadership:	Max Von Heller
Goals:	Upholding Malton Ordinance Laws (#2234) and cleansing Malton of repeated farting/flatulence offenders
Recruitment Policy:	Anyone, but some sense of extreme humor is a requirement.
Contact:	Any CAR member

Our mission!

As has been said, and will be said again, we work to combat the presence
of persistent farters in Malton. Although it is appreciated, the applause and
adoration of Malton survivors is not necessary for the good deeds that we
carry out. May the air be forever purified and cleansed!

NEWS!

June 2nd, 2008

Just a small bit of news. The late and great Mrs. Maxine Von Heller has expired in the town of Monroeville. She was there on humanitarian business to help the citizens, bless her kind heart! There was a zombie outbreak in the city and she was subsequently killed one day, would you believe it, by a dirty PK'er! She then became a zombie and quickly succumbed to the dreaded head shot. May she rest in peace.

(Last known public image. What a saint! err...sister!)

May 18th
From the Desk of Max Von Heller: The Clean Air Reclamators are expanding to several malls near YOU! This GOOD news comes at a time when nearly every mall in Malton is screaming for clean air. We never shirk our duties, nor shy away from protecting the innocent bystanders that are now our charge. Rest assured that as we expand into the Tynte, Woodruff, Hildebrandt, and Nichols Malls we will be bringing our personal brand of serenity that can only come from a FILTERED environment. You asked for us, and here we come! It is times like these that being an FK'er (fart killer) is so rewarding. Wherever there is a soul that cries out for clean air... we WILL be THERE!

May 9th
Fuzzy Little Bunny has been promoted to sergeant! His diligent work in sniffing out those PK'ers, Blackhawk Nation members, is to be commended. Good work!

May 8th
Notice: Member AlliSabbah Sellmoore has filed papers for early semi-retirement. He will be awarded the official office of Executive Sniffer. While not enforcing Malton ordinances, he will still work in the capacity of identifying any violations and turning them in to the active members.

We also have a new member, Edwin Driskill, who should appear along side the other faithful members at the bottom of our page. Look for him and welcome him with open arms!

April 10th, 2008
It has come to our attention that some survivors in Malton are not aware of Malton City Ordinance #2234
that states CLEARLY:

Farting Est. 08-28-95 Farting (flatulence) prohibited in congested buildings unless the establishment
provides a farting section with a physical barrier or air barrier system between the sections and
an air purification system (electrically powered hospital grade, hepa media filter that will clean all of
the air in the designated farting area every 15 minutes as with not less than 95 percent of three-tenths
(0.3) micron particulates efficiency) or separate ventilation system that exhausts the air to the exterior
of the building. This section of the code includes cocktail lounges and private clubs ("bars") that are
regulated by the Malton Alcohol and Beverage Commission.

April 9th, 2008
After a long break where there were literally more zombies than survivors,
CLEAN AIR RECLAMATORS were busy reviving and healing folks. Their
normal duties were put on hold for a few weeks but now things are back to
normal.

Resuming their duties, Max Von Heller was the first to find the violator known as:
Skunkbomb! It was obvious he was a violator of the clean air and was promptly
filtered in accordance with Malton ordinance laws. C.A.R. is back in action and back
on the job!

March 21st, 2008
With the recent rise in the walking dead, C.A.R. has been temporarily
out of service. With very little survivors at the mall and some members
out of commission, it looks like our work has "dried" up for the time being.
We hope to be back on the job soon to help keep your air clean in those
congested areas like the numerous malls folks seem to flock to!

March 10th, 2008
Once again Max and Rosco have been MURDERED multiple times
by a PK'er group called Blackhawk Nation. These guys cut us down
without cause and will be reported for bounties. What has Malton come
to when innocent survivors are shot in cold blood? Murdered by PK'ers?

Of course there are revives so no one really dies, which is a relief. We will
live again and forgive this despicable act of unlawful murder.

March 5th, 2008
While cleaning a mall of some violators a young lad approached us
and extended his hand. He said he wanted to personally thank us for
the good job we are doing and that he had a sick mother in the other
room that could now breath much easier, thanks to our efforts!

It brought a tear to our eyes knowing that we are helping the good
people of Malton lead better and cleaner lives!

Feb. 25th, 2008
It seems some folks are calling us PK'ers. Are bounty
hunters PK'ers? Some say yes, some say no. As for CAR, we are NOT
PK'ers and do not randomly kill folks. We only punish and eliminate
those who violate the clean air of MALLS for farting inside among others!

Why, who else would do such a public service? Thus our group was formed
and service provided for all of Malton to have the cleanest air possible in our
cherished malls!

Feb. 14th During a recent filtering of a clean air violator an innocent bystander
asked Max "Why do you do it?" Obviously Joey tuck was unaware of our group
and what good we do for the survivor community. We keep the most congested
areas, the Malls, free from unwanted flatulence and punish any violators. We do
this to keep the air clean for YOU. For the good citizens and survivors of Malton
during this zombie outbreak. Why, without us, the air would be unbearably smelly
and most inhabitable! We do it for clean air, we do it for all of you.

Jan. 30th: Rosco and Allisabbah are back in action! Rosco has also
recently filtered the violator Tony Bommarito. He must have had one
too many burritos. The air has been cleansed once again by your
friendly neighborhood Clean Air Reclamators!

---

Rosco Hendricks has been PK'ed by the criminal PK'er known as Le Fanu.
Not only that but they must have done it so they could continue to spoil the
clean air of Malton themselves! This clean air spoiler and PK'er will NOT get
away with this heinous treachery!

Also, Allisabbah was cut down by willie clinton today! Folks, we can't keep
the air clean for you if this PK'ing keeps happening. Bring the PK'ers to justice!

Filtered Violators List

Those that have already been filtered include:
(Some may be repeat offenders)

Abby Scuitto
Sgt Hump
Devestation
Major Smithy
Skunkboy
Indian Scout
LaPrachio
Ikillurface
Onionsinthebag
Old Dirty Bastard
executer
Tim Koltveit (Blackhawk Nation member and PK'er)
Swan Warchief (Blackhawk Nation member and PK'er)
Mad Muchacho (Blackhawk Nation member and PK'er)
xBloodymessx (Blackhawk Nation Member & PK'er)
Denmark Vessey (Blackhawk Nation member & PK'er)
JSwanson (Blackhawk Nation member & PK'er)
Rob Roy MacGregor (Blackhawk Nation member & PK'er)
Doc Necrotic
cadloas
Vangabot
Stoner24 (pot smoking violation)
Dick Torn
Orzo Nacirema (PK'er of our members)
Dr. Heller (Name stealing and PK'er of our members)
Pants Dance
Doctor Pootwaddle
Skunkbomb
Vagitarian
Cleaning Woman (Not a woman! and multiple offender)
rich bum
Rxrus
Ron Pile
Explosiv3s
Emily Corpse
The Manly Woman
Todar
TheFreshOne
S1lent V1per
Freek M
Assi
Mortus Corpus
Joker Toker
Dzukas
Alexander Turpin
Major Flip (Known PK'er of CAR member Max Von Heller)
SeekeranDestroyer
Fat Fred
Doobydoo
Deadlyintent
Cheezwizz
Baubness
Pillbrain (For revive point killing AND farting!)
NOOB' killer
KennyMcCormick
Andrew Wreaks
Tony Bommarito
Thunderpants
Gussy
dukemeister
Buttnose
Evilpaperclip
liquid feces
Tod Browning
Bobs ATurd
big 'smoke
Capt Crack
Pooo
Couchman
Ken Cussion
Rancid Corpse
fREAKsHOWgIRL
Joeypants
Tattered Butt
Maj Major M Major
Sergeant Browntrousers
DutchOven
Hank Steinbrenner

Members

We may be few, but we will filter!

LEADER:
Max Von Heller (High Commissioner)

MEMBERS:
Edwin Driskill (Officer):‎ Rosco Hendricks(Dep. comm.):

George Straightway(Detective): Little Fuzzy Bunny(Sergeant): File:Bunny suit9865.jpg

AlliSabbah Sellmoore:
(Executive Inspector: semi-retired)

Ranks

High Commissioner: Highest rank. Four stars, similar to a full general.

Deputy Commissioner: Two or three stars, similar to a major or lieutenant general.

Assistant Chief: Special assistant to deputy commissioner.

Inspector: Either a gold or silver oak leaf, similar to majors and lieutenant colonels, or a gold eagle, similar to a colonel.

Captain: Two gold or silver bars ("Railroad tracks"), who supervises a precinct.

Lieutenant: A single gold bar ("Butter bar"), who supervises two to three sergeants.

Sergeant: A police officer who supervises an entire watch, made of two to three sections, and wears three inverted chevrons.

Detective: An investigatory specialist, usually working in plain clothes. This may be in several classes that correspond to higher supervisory and pay grades.

Officer: Usually a new or new low level member recruit. Wears no rank insignia.

Executive Inspector: Reserved for retired members that operate in a lowered capacity. Usually reserved for semi-retired members.