Clubbed to Death

Clubbed to Death is a zombie nightclub enterprise, based in Club Wadman in Gulsonside and Club Simpson in Osmondville. The group's activities focus on ensuring that these nightclubs and neighboring Blesley Mall provide zombies with nightly entertainment and a regular supply of the phattest underground beats and juiciest brains.

Breathers are welcome at Clubbed to Death premises, as long as they surrender their brainz at the door and do not harass the undead clientele.

Clubbed to Death
Abbreviation:	CTD
Group Numbers:	30+
Leadership:	We follow the beat.
Goals:	1. Clubbing; 2. Death.
Recruitment Policy:	VIPs only. Everyone else must stay behind the velvet rope.
Contact:	Hermann Munster

Headlines and Deadlines

Sunday 22nd November: pioneer zedcee extends the dead hand of CTD friendship to Penny Heights, occupying the Craddy Building and extending the Clubbers' salty domain of death to its easternmost point to date.

A land-grabbing corporate zombie

Sunday 15 November 2009: after days of heavy fighting, the iconic Doveton Towers falls to determined zombie attack by elements of Clubbed to Death's elite OstFront mob. Blissful silence falls across Osmondville as mobile phone chat is brought to a halt, and the inane radio spam of 28.01 is reduced to sparks and static. Fillmore West had the honour of delivering the coup de grace to the tower - and the pretentious African painting in the lobby is no more. A breather's attempt to reclaim Axtence is swiftly snuffed out.

On the northern front, Clinch Way Police Department in southern Crowbank is breached by Clubbed to Death's canine patrol unit, Rotting Snoopy.

Sunday 8 November 2009: Clubbed to Death celebrates the acquisition of its fifth NT building, as The Creek Building is added to the Clubbers' portfolio of former revivification centres. As well as holding 5 NT Buildings, the Clubbers continue to own Blesley Mall, the surrounding clubs, and St Polycarp's Hospital, making them the undead equivalent of Donald Trump, but with better hair.

Monday 2 November 2009: Clubbed to Death becomes a member of the Salt The Land Alliance, and turns its activities from leisure-related venues to NT buildings. The Perryn Building, Wetherall Building, The Axtence Building and The Doubting Building NTs are immediately placed under Clubbed to Death management. This creates a diamond-shaped Salty Zone of Death around Blesley Mall and the nearby clubs which form the Clubbers' heartland.

History of a Legend

After many months on tour across Malton, from painting Molebank red to eating the Zoo's cuddliest animals, Clubbed to Death finally moved south and became active in the Gulsonside area in Spring 2009. The undead party-goers scored a famous victory over the hapless Blesleyites just before Mall Tour '09 arrived, denying the Mall Tour their expected brainfeast and ensuring a safe haven for rotten dancers and feral zombies in southern Malton's liveliest undead nightspots. Club Wadman, Club Simpson, Club Single, and Club Adam were all incorporated into the Clubbers' portfolio.

After this triumph, which has left a legacy of ruination and disco fever to this day, the Clubbed to Death party went west to Pole Mall and the Clapton Stadium. Despite some successes in ruining the stadium and targeting the bandanna-wearing fashion victims of Pole Mall Security, the clubbers found the local clubs to be beyond redemption, and returned to their Ghoulsonside homeland.

Despite occasional breather efforts to wrest control of Blesley and Clubs Zedman and Zedson from their undead hands, the zombie club co-operative has dominated eastern Ghoulsonside and western Osmondvile for much of 2009. Ghoulsonside even received the coveted Ghost Town Award during summer 2009, a testament to the ongoing efforts of the Clubbed to Death dance posse.

In Autumn 09, The Fortress attacked Gulsonside in a futile effort to reclaim Blesley Mall and its environs. Speaking in October 09, after weeks of failing to ever hold Blesley for more than a day, Zombiedodger commented: "thanks to CTD for being a great opponent. We'll move on eventually as we tend to get bored if we stay in one place for too long but don't worry I'll be sure to bring the team back for a visit next time we're round these parts." Clubbed to Death spokeszombies responded by welcoming the prospect of more fresh bra!nz, and wished the Fortress well in their next epic failure.

Manifesto

	EXTINCTION
	Clubbed to Death fights for the Extinction of Revival in Malton.

Clubbed to Death is a non-denominational organisation, dedicated to preserving nightclubs and malls for the use of Malton's undead denizens. Its three-pronged mission is to debrain breathers, ruin their clubs, and party hard.

While most members are brain-rotted zombie humans, our membership includes a famous cartoon dog, and at least two of its members are in fact literally members i.e. male genitalia (beware: they all bite).

Some Clubbed to Death members can be found in a breathing state after being revived, inadvertently or otherwise. While breathing they nonetheless continue to pursue the aims of Clubbed to Death.

Clubbed to Death does not actively recruit new members, but does encourage all Maltonites to embrace their Disco-Loving Zombie ethos and lifestyle, viz. ingesting brain-based drugs, dancing in a jerky, uncoordinated fashion, and dressing outlandishly. Needless to say this hedonistic lifestyle has resulted in the spread of numerous infections among the Malton population.

Since November 2009, Clubbed to Death has been a member of the Salt The Land Alliance, dedicating itself to eliminating revival in south-central Malton, in the hope of achieving peace in our city.

Club Anthem

DJ Brainz spins another killer set at Club Zedman

The Club Anthem is the eponymous bangin' choon featured on The Matrix soundtrack, a club epic by Rob Dougan, which can be heard below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pt-NvcuDVBc&feature=related

VIP Lounge Members

Bop Till You Drop - Clubbed to Death motto

Past and present VIP Members of Clubbed to Death are as follows:

Abdul Hasan Mejid

Abdul Hasbeen

Avoiding Zombies - granddaddy of the movement; nurtured many clubbers from fresh-faced n00bs to Level 43 hardcore rotters.

Barack Boobrama

Above left: Barack Boobrama

Brainetarian

Cleburne

Commence T'Jiggling

Cube Drone - Unspeakably vile. Best avoided.

Darth Samedi

Edmund Slackbladder - Once fought the Clubbers, but was then assimilated.

Fillmore West

Friar Mouldy Bits

Good Bad and Ugly

Bad, yes, ugly certainly, but good? Doubtful at best.

Gouge Away - #1 Pixies fan; also enjoys gouging.

Heneage - Reliable source of understated, how you say, 'English humour'.

Hermann Munster

Celebrity zombie Hermann Munster: not as friendly as he was on TV

Ketchem

Moore Perry

Mucous Face

My Willie - Bites. Dislikes being hacked off with an axe, so don't do it.

Nick Spalding

Nightzed

Oldblackdog

Rectum Killed'em

Rotting Snoopy - Snoopy cocking his leg on you is the ultimate humiliation. Yes, even worse than being a Blesley breather.

Rotting Snoopy and Deadstock enjoy a tasty meat treat

Trenchant Paws

Your Willie - Also bites, but obviously smaller than My Willie: vide supra.

zedcee

Zhed Dead

Clubbed to Death Radio

ZNN: Zombie Nation News

Although zombies lack the dexterity to use radios, breathing Clubbers sometimes broadcast on the airwaves. Preference is given to the wavelengths for Gulsonside/Osmondville (26.16MHz) and Blesley Mall (26.46MHz), although the latter frequency is rarely used since the mall has not been on air since Spring 2009.

Undead Hawtness

Zombie women may not have warm blood running in their veins, but that doesn't mean they can't be hot. We are pleased to present a few of the fine feral females who have clubbed to death alongside our shambling, two left-footed* selves, courtesy of Zombie Pin-Up [1]... Enjoy the view!

(*i.e. our own left foot, plus the severed one we each carry with us for good luck.)

	Zombie Karaoke
	This undead user enjoys serenading survivors when visiting safehouses.

	B-A-N-A-N-A-Z!
	This user knows exactly what to do with a banana.

	Salt The Land
	Clubbed to Death supports the Salt the Land policy.

Club with Bub, a frequent guest DJ.

Confirmed Groups/stats