Clubbed to Death

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Clubbed to Death is a zombie nightclub enterprise, based in Club Wadman in Gulsonside and Club Simpson in Osmondville. The group's activities focus on ensuring that these nightclubs and neighboring Blesley Mall provide zombies with nightly entertainment and a regular supply of the phattest underground beats and juiciest brains.


Zombie nightclub.jpg

Breathers are welcome at Clubbed to Death premises, as long as they surrender their brainz at the door and do not harass the undead clientele.


History of a Legend

After many months on tour across Malton, from painting Molebank red to eating the Zoo's cuddliest animals, Clubbed to Death finally moved south and became active in the Gulsonside area in Spring 2009. The undead party-goers scored a famous victory over the hapless Blesleyites just before Mall Tour '09 arrived, denying the Mall Tour their expected brainfeast and ensuring a safe haven for rotten dancers and feral zombies in southern Malton's liveliest undead nightspots.

After this triumph, which has left a legacy of ruination and disco fever to this day, the Clubbed to Death party went west to Pole Mall and the Clapton Stadium. Despite some successes in ruining the stadium and targeting the bandanna-wearing fashion victims of Pole Mall Security, the clubbers found the local clubs to be beyond redemption, and returned to their Ghoulsonside homeland.

Despite occasional breather efforts to wrest control of Blesley and Clubs Zedman and Zedson from their undead hands, the zombie club co-operative has dominated eastern Ghoulsonside and western Osmondvile for much of 2009. Ghoulsonside even received the coveted Ghost Town Award during summer 2009, a testament to the ongoing efforts of the Clubbed to Death dance posse.

Manifesto

Clubbed to Death is a non-denominational organisation, dedicated to preserving nightclubs and malls for the use of Malton's undead denizens. Its three-pronged mission is to debrain breathers, ruin their clubs, and party hard.

While most members are brain-rotted zombie humans, our membership includes a famous cartoon dog, and at least two of its members are in fact literally members i.e. male genitalia (beware: they all bite).

Some Clubbed to Death members can be found in a breathing state after being revived, inadvertently or otherwise. While breathing they nonetheless continue to pursue the aims of Clubbed to Death.

Clubbed to Death does not actively recruit new members, but does encourage all Maltonites to embrace their Disco-Loving Zombie ethos and lifestyle, viz. ingesting brain-based drugs, dancing in a jerky, uncoordinated fashion, and dressing outlandishly. Needless to say this hedonistic lifestyle has resulted in the spread of numerous infections among the Malton population.

Club Anthem

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DJ Brainz spins another killer set at Club Zedman

The Club Anthem is the eponymous bangin' choon featured on The Matrix soundtrack, a club epic by Rob Dougan, which can be heard below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pt-NvcuDVBc&feature=related

VIP Club Members

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Bop Till You Drop - Clubbed to Death motto


Past and present VIP Members of Clubbed to Death are as follows:

Abdul Hasbeen

Avoiding Zombies

Barack Boobrama

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Above left: Barack Boobrama


Brainetarian

Cleburne

Commence T'Jiggling

Cube Drone

Darth Samedi

Edmund Slackbladder

Fillmore West

Friar Mouldy Bits

Gouge Away

Heneage

Hermann Munster

Ketchem

Moore Perry

My Willie

Nick Spalding

Nightzed

Rotting Snoopy

Trenchant Paws

Your Willie

zedcee

Zhed Dead

Clubbed to Death Radio

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ZNN: Zombie Nation News


Although zombies lack the dexterity to use radios, breathing Clubbers sometimes broadcast on the airwaves. Preference is given to the wavelengths for Gulsonside/Osmondville (26.16MHz) and Blesley Mall (26.46MHz), although the latter frequency is rarely used since the mall has not been on air since Spring 2009.