Five Miles Over Chicago/Roster

Just in case this is all moving too fast for you, these are the people in Five Miles Over Chicago.

Jon Evans

"I don't think you know what Communism means."

Bio: After watching Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, he decided one day to set out and change his life forever. For him, that meant doing the exact same stuff, but with FMOC.
Hobbies: Baking, wasting his life on shitty online games

Commander O'Neil

"WOAH, SIT DOWN, YOU'VE LEFT YOUR LEGS BEHIND!"

Bio: This other dude from the DEM, but he was just way too chill for that noise. Was in some French Fail Legion or something but screw that.
Hobbies: I dunno actually, but he probably plays Poker or something

Blitz Krieger

"I killed a zombie! yay!"

Bio: I'm gonna level with you. I don't think this guy knows what he's doing. Whatevs, he's in our group now.
Hobbies: Failing at Urban Dead

Stephen Grace

"SO MANY REBELS"

Bio: Ok, so this guy is communist. Well he says he is anyway. I'm like 99% sure he's just got some serious issues. He owns a hermit crab named "Little Trotsky".
Hobbies: Communism, student protests

Ribbijack

"God help me but I'm at Nuth Row."

Bio: This other guy who was in IRC when we were making this group and he's all, "Hey, I like Urban Dead!" and we're all "Aight, you should come roll with us" and he's all, "K".
Hobbies: Being a douchebagAwesome.

ykl

"Damn you labine for getting me looking at UD again..."

Bio: This other dude from the DEM. He's pretty cool even if he refused to play Urban Dead. He's like a member in spirit if nothing else.
Hobbies: Not playing Urban Dead

Denver Randleman

"What are we doing?"

Bio: So we're talking about the group in IRC like always, and Denver is like "Hey we'll join, but we're going to be PKers" but then I'm all ":|" and he's all "Ok then."
Hobbies: Chillin', listening to Johnny Cash

Rambo Pliskin

"..."

Bio: This guy is Denver's friend, I don't even know him. He kind of sounds like a scenester if you ask me but whatever.
Hobbies: PKing, apparently. (Well, formerly.)

Yetiwarrior

"lol, I mustve PKed Commander O'Neil a couple times"

Bio: Always up for some pointless online games, he was quick to join when we told him we were taking a stab at Urban Dead.
Hobbies: Wasting his life on shitty online games

Joe Morris

wat

Bio: So on the second day of this group we were informed that Joe had joined FMOC. Before we could ask him for a profile link of any of that jazz, he's outta IRC and doesn't come back for hours. Torontonians, I swear.
Hobbies: Failing at life.

Leon Argos

FUCK YEAH I AM TOTALLY IN

Bio: Once upon a time, he was a bent cop. Then he lived in a hospital in Wykewood. Then he did some other stuff. Now he's doing this, ironically.
Hobbies: Not taking bribes anymore!

Goofy mccoy

The objective of the game is to collect the largest pool of idiots into your group and be the biggest douchebag possible, to the most people, for the longest time.

Bio: Another DEM vet (Probably the most sane out of all of them) who joined with a post that began "Oh why the hell not?"
Hobbies: Playing Mafia, verbal bitch-slapping

AgentPapers

GODDAMN IT LABINE YOU SON OF A BITCH.

Bio: A dude actually from Chicago IRL who is either a brother to or a split personality of this other dude we all know. It's pretty complication.
Hobbies: Hockey

Captain Barricade

Where are we again?

Bio: Yeah, he slightly forgot to tell me what to put here. Uh... He's Irish. That's cool, I guess. ...Yeah.
Hobbies: I don't really know. I bet he collects stamps.