Late Night TV Crue

The Late Night TV Crue
Abbreviation:	LNTVC
Group Numbers:	undisclosed
Leadership:	none
Goals:	eradication of that pesky Valkyrie infestation in Lockettside
Recruitment Policy:	Apply Here
Contact:	Talk here or here

File:Latenight1.jpg

New Text Needed! - the Late Night TV Crue is here.


Write All the things better!


Born of an intense hatred of the Lockettside Valkyries several of us decided that it was time to band together and haze the stupid and zergatious through repeated assassination. We have spent much of our pilot season at St. Alexander's hospital in Lockettside, but we've begun to plan shooting at other locations.

MORE UP TO DATE THINGS


(rewrite) We plan on being among Malton's most feared PK'ing group ever. We've amassed talent from several cable networks and pirate radio transmitters - and this time we're working not for Neilson rating points, we're knocking out survivor hit points. When we say "we killed 'em out there!" this time we mean it. So keep your television sets aglow kiddies of Malton - we're coming soon to a safehouse near YOU!!


Want to join up? We're always looking for new blood - and the ability to simultaneously spill more than we currently can! Leave a message on our talk page or follow the link to our forum.

Anyway, we've got a really big show planned. So have a seat and enjoy.



This time, it's Personal

Latest News

OUTRAGE during Triumph's Limited Engagment at St. George's Hospital (Greentown)

So as you know, Triumph has been keeping an eye on the TZH representative who's been greasing around the Malton College of Medicine's HQ in St. George's Hospital (Greentown).

That guy has already had three restraining orders filed against him, and no fewer than 60% of the nursing staff has reported being sexually harrassed - male AND female.

So, Triumph does his thing, as you can see below



Ha! You tell 'em T!

Then the unthinkable happens. In this ZONE OF NONVIOLENCE, this CENTER OF HEALING, Scooty Puff assassinates our member V4por. The Horror! The Horror!



We demand restitution! This cannot stand! Either:

a. Issue a temporary permit to the LNTVC for one 'eye for an eye' kill in St. George's -OR-
b. Pibbit or Q Bee kill BuckNaked Jihad yourselves.

We await JUSTICE!

Kiss kiss! Love Sarah!--Sarah Silverman 20:20, 15 February 2013 (UTC)

Sarah, I understand your outrage and I must add that V4por has become a well liked figure at MCM. Our history with THZ has been bizarre to me at best. However, I will have to decline your request for me to kill Buck. THZ would crave nothing more than a MCM member, or better yet, me killing one of theirs. MCM's stated mission is to heal and teach. I know that it causes other groups some distress that we don't respond to killing, but being a neutral zone with so many differing players we often have squabbles in the hospital. If you need confirmation ask the PKnights as they are often targets there.

Hopefully next time you come through the hospital you can take a moment and share a necrotini with me and we can chat. I normally check our forum, but not so much the wiki. --QBee 16:07, 16 February 2013 (UTC)

More Valentine's Day! -- V4por Tells Jokes!

Finally, for a Valentine's day comedy nightcap, V4por takes the mic at St Geroge's Hospital.

• You say "I hope you're all enjoying the entertainment. I hear that Mark Whalberg was arrested yesterday after stealing several blow-up dolls."
• You say "The police had no problem catching him because he was completely out of breath"
• You say "And did you hear that Tom Cruise's attorney has said he will sue anyone claiming he is gay?"
• You say "In related news, BuckNaked Jihad's attorney has been hospitalized for exhaustion"
• You say "And how about that Dhave Grohl? If I found him floating in my pool, I'd punish my dog"
• You say "But man does he sure have a following. It's the damnedest thing. It's like he's the stupid person's idea of a clever person."

February 14, 2013 – Happy Valentines Day!

I’ve got lots to tell you guys about! It’s been a pretty great week or so.

First, a whole bunch of the Late Night TV Crue has come out of retirement! Stephen Colbert is running – or I guess I should say shambling – around again (Thanks to Zoomy – but more on her later), as is Jimmy Kimmel, lovable old fat guy that he is! I’ve been in contact with Sheila Brovlofsky, but I’m not sure if she’s awake or not yet, or if she really will. Triumph the Dog is also out there too!

Plus – we’ve attracted TWO new members! I have no idea if they want to be publicly associated with us, so I won’t shout them out by name. They can feel free to add anything they like here.

I’ve been doing a lot of broadcasting to get our message of accountability out against those rat-bastard Team Zombie Hardcore fuckwads. Let me catch you up:

So, here I tell Malton what's up, and hope everyone will join in the fun. IT'S NOT TOO LATE! SEND A SCREENIE OF YOU PUNCHING A TZH MEMBER! PLEASE!!



Then, Dhave Grohl finally woke up, and whined like a little girl on my talk page, and then again on his own page: Read about scared Dhave here! So, after Dhave ran and hid, I found Mike Smith - who is so scared he won't fly [Team Zombie Hardcore]] as his group name. So he became our first demonstration. Our 'opening salvo' if you will.



Next we found out just how deep this rabbit hole goes. They want to cancel a ZOMBIE BASED TV SHOW? If this doesn't get you off your couches and move you to support our action in meaningful and measurable ways Malton, I don't know what will!


One of our new members visited the Malton College of Medicine in St. George's Hospital (Greentown) and punched BuckNaked Jihad in the face. Again, I'm obscuring his name because he may be on the down low for now. But here's the courageous act:



Which earns him a lecture from QBee, but it was probably worth it. It'd be worth it if YOU did it too.

Then, Triumph also visited the Malton College of Medicine in St. George's Hospital (Greentown). He shared with me the following monologue he gave against BuckNaked Jihad, who apparently just sits there all day pulling his pud watching Nurses run around, taking advantage of their non-violence policy.

Ah, the venerable Malton College of Medicine's Headquarters.

This is a nice Hospital.. FOR ME TO POOP ON!

Heh. I keed, I keed. I see you let some of that Team Zombie Crusty-Poopcore riffraff hang out here.

You really should have higher standards...

BuckNaked Jihad must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen.. I mean, Out of 100,000 sperm, THIS GUY was the fastest?

Right? When BuckNaked Jihad was born, the police arrested his dad, the doctor slapped his mom, animal control euthanized his brother, and A&E made a documentary that saved his life.

Ah yes, but you have a no-violence policy here. I will honor this. But know that BuckNaked's group stands for crappy TV in Malton.

They must be punished. And they will be. And it will be entertaining.

So those of you who can stand maybe just a LEETLE violence, punch these guys in the face when you see them for us... Much appreciated.

Now, please excuse me while I lick myself for a while.

Go get 'em Triumph!!

And then most recently, I found Jayne Cobb and made an example of him. Here's hoping the message sinks in.

In the WTF?? Department:

BOY! My talk page has really lit up lately. Some guy named Blazing arrow reminded me that he probably, maybe killed me once.

Thanks for that, Blazing arrow. I'll treasure the memory. Really.

Then I heard on the radio this weird challenge thingy:



The MacMillan Library? As in, the one in Randallbank? Um, that's a bit far away from my current base of operations, whoever you are. Oh by the way, WHO ARE YOU? Not very tough to issue a challenge on the radio, but not say your name... So sorry, I won't be hauling my cookies across Malton for a blind date with a jackass.

Finally - ZOOMY showed back up on my page. And she's TRENCHY now. Stripped of her group by our efforts way back with the New Lockettside Valkyries, she's out of high school, she's appealed for reinstatement on the wiki, and returned for vengeance! Here's hoping that's entertaining. She's still within 4 moves of St. Alexanders in Lockettside inside Sankey Bank. Anyone who wants to power that up for us to make it easier to kill her, that help would be most appreciated. Again, send me a Dumwit and I'll give you credit here.

We also have a new | forum! Stop by and say hello, or visit any talk page on the wiki that is associated here.
I think that's it for now! An upgrade to this page is still in the works - so stay tuned! Thanks for listening Malton - we love you so. Except you, you dirty Team Zombie Hardcore types. We're coming for you.

Tonight's Episode's Kills:

1. http://urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=34717%7C Mike Smith] Taunt: "Mike! I didn't realize before that you were a thinly veiled deluded disciple of Mark and Dhave! I hereby execute you in the name of quality TV in Malton! Your Balls are Smahlls! Kiss kiss, Love Sarah!" Taunt Kill: Kill
2. Jayne M. Cobb Taunt: "Jayne, stop trying to cancel all the good shows on TV!!!" Taunt Kill: Kill

February 8th, 2013 - ANNNNNNND.... We're Back!

Wow, that was one LONG commercial break, eh folks? I'm pleased to restore this page to it's former... uh, mediocrity. We'll get on that maybe at some point. But at least our history is here again, and those silly colors of the The New Valk page are gone. For those wanting to see that (though I kind of ruined it, here's a link:

LNTVC's New Lockettside Valkyrie's Campaign

That was fun while it lasted.

So, up next we've got a new program laid out for you. Remember way back in early 2008 when Team Zombie Hardcore caused the Entertainment Write's Strike? Yeah, that sucked. We were beset with all sorts of bad reality TV, and lots of great folks in Hollywood had to switch to the cheaper kind of caviar, and only buy hookers and blow once a week instead of three.

Here's some of the [January 10th: End the Writer's Strike and stop Team Zombie Hardcore!!|history] of that effort.

Well, thank you fans in Malton for a great campaign then to punish the loser Mark Whalberg and his idiot minions for degrading Malton's entertainment.

Thankfully, Golam of the Philosophe Knights kept up the pressure to excise this horrible blight on Malton society. Here is a great accounting of those efforts.

Sadly, we've now learned that TZH is working with dark and powerful forces in Malton, like The Koch Brothers and Justin Bieber to ensure that next season there is nothing but crap like Honey Boo Boo and "I just shat a marble" on television.

They Must Be STOPPED!

So, once again fair citizens of Malton - we call on you to help us punish every member of Team Zombie Hardcore you see.

If you're so inclined, kill one of them.

If that's not your style, YOU CAN STILL HELP - just punch any member you see in the face and say, "I want quality TV in Malton!"

That's all it takes.

Thanks, and watch this space for more updates!!

Oh, and in case you need another reason to hate TZH, remember when Mark Whalberg said this about how he'd have been able to prevent 9/11?:

“If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did,” he tells the magazine. “There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, ‘OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry.’” [1]?

Remember when he fucked a bear revealing he's a dirty furry fetisher?

Let's teach theses un-Maltonian bastards a lesson.

Kiss kiss, and it's good to be back!

--Sarah Silverman 15:00, 8 February 2013 (UTC)

February 1st, 2013 - We're Getting the Band Back together...

As all of Malton knows, in the immortal words of Donald "Duck" Dunn, "We had a band powerful enough to turn goat piss into gasoline." We're not really on a mission from God, but at least to improve our ratings. Or maybe I'll get to fuck Matt Damon again.

This to say: we're back. Jimmy's up (well, not currently - Zoomy killed him yesterday), Stephen's up, and Triumph is nearby. So while I haven't had time yet to really clean up this place, I will start sharing some of our good times.

Carolina Cross is one of my new favorite people. I'm bummed I can't remember what I said to her. But she's the bestest in my book:

I killed Zoomy again today. Here are the highlights:

I'm going to put this identical content up on the LNTVC page. This will be my last cross link. I'm realizing I should update there again now, if others are awake.

Kiss kiss!

Link to Hell Hath No Fury Tour

Go to The Sarah Silverman Program to learn more!

July 20th, 2008 - back at Soap Opera Hospital

· eVo Legend Killer said "tell them to hold on a sec so i can go get more ammo lmao" (2 minutes ago)

· Sheila Broflovski killed Dragon Fang. (2 minutes ago)

· Jimmy Kimmel said "Taht's what you get for harboring my ex bitch girlfriend" (2 minutes ago)

· Jimmy Kimmel killed Somnambulation Man. (1 minute ago) ...and again.

· Jimmy Kimmel said "Stupid Man, don't mess with the Crue!" (1 minute ago) .

• • Yo Einstein Kimmel - use THREE equals signs for these headers on this page for news items. --Sarah Silverman 18:27, 21 July 2008 (BST)

July 18th, 2008 - And so it BEGINS

OK, so I have no idea what's up with this group. It may take Johnnie Cochrane or something to figure it out, but in the interim I'm going to keep updating here, well because I was the only one who ever fucking did it anyway. I see the Pilsbury Dough Boy posted our little conversation below, so I'll put a thing or two here myself, and we'll see what happens.

I'll probably just update my own page for a while. I may just be drunk. Anyway, kiss kiss!

· 28.01 MHz: "Long time no see peeps! Sarah Silverman here, and I’m sure" (4 minutes ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "you’ve all desperately missed my kisses. I know of one fat" (4 minutes ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "unfunny ..." static "... who is certainly missing those and more right" (4 minutes ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "now. So, it’s time to start my latest episode for your" (3 minutes ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "entertainment, and kick off the “Hell Hath No Fury” Tour" (3 minutes ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "My primary target – and yours I hope –" (3 minutes ago)

· 28.01 MHz: " is the asswipe Jimmy Kimmel." (3 minutes ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "Please kill him wherever you encounter him, living or dead," (3 minutes ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "at every opportunity. Also, please kill anyone named Jim," (2 minutes ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "or James. Anyone with My in their name. That goes for" (2 minutes ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "Kim, and Mel too." (2 minutes ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "Anyone that reminds you of Jimmy should also die." (2 minutes ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "Anyone that is pudgy – dead" (2 minutes ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "Anyone that tries to be funny – worthy of killing." (1 minute ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "Any time you think of Jimmy Kimmel for some reason," (1 minute ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "kill someone. You get the idea. I’ll be seeing you all ar" (1 minute ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "around! This is Sarah Silverman signing off" (35 seconds ago)

· 28.01 MHz: "with a big huge good to be back -Kiss kiss!" (25 seconds ago)

July 15, 2008 - And so it ends...

Since your last turn:

• 28.01 MHz: "rEaL_gAmERZ=fag rEaL_gAmERZ = national pole rider" (11 minutes ago)
• Jimmy Kimmel said "Sarah you slut" (9 minutes ago)
• Jimmy Kimmel said "you weren't supposed to really fuck Matt Damon" (8 minutes ago)
• Sarah Silverman said "Well well well, if it isn't that lying cheat Jimmy Kimmel. How's your boyfriend Ben Affleck, a-hole?" (8 minutes ago)
• Jimmy Kimmel said "I heard he has a pencil dick" (8 minutes ago)
• Sarah Silverman said "Or should I say, Slightly larger a-hole?" (8 minutes ago)
• Jimmy Kimmel said "how he got it in your meat curtains, I will never know" (8 minutes ago)
• Jimmy Kimmel said "I recommend you get a full on body wax" (7 minutes ago)
• Sarah Silverman said "Here I was, a faithful girlfriend for five, 'count 'em FIVE years! And you - you MONSTER!" (7 minutes ago)
• Jimmy Kimmel said "you are hairier than a monkey" (7 minutes ago)
• Jimmy Kimmel said "LIAR! You were fucking Hef when I met you!" (7 minutes ago)
• Sarah Silverman said "I'd rather do the entire militant order of Barhah than ever see your flabby body naked again!" (7 minutes ago)
• Jimmy Kimmel said "and he's like, a million years old!" (6 minutes ago)
• Jimmy Kimmel said "Bitch! I hired a personal trainer for you!" (6 minutes ago)
• Jimmy Kimmel said "you don't get a three pack set of abs like mine overnight!" (6 minutes ago)
• Sarah Silverman said "You should have hired a dentist. You're breath stinks. And you sweat crisco." (6 minutes ago)
• Jimmy Kimmel said "I FAKed you, so that should clear up your herpes!" (5 minutes ago)
• Jimmy Kimmel said "You drink Nyquil for breakfast, so you're one to talk" (5 minutes ago)
• Sarah Silverman said "Well at least now I'm free to expand my options. Maybe I'll finally have the big O after all these years." (4 minutes ago)
• Jimmy Kimmel said "Thanks for humiliating me in front of the entire world, you whore" (4 minutes ago)
• Jimmy Kimmel said "not unless you have extra batteries. oh, and I scrubbed the toilet with your toothbrush, not that you use it ever." (4 minutes ago)
• Jimmy Kimmel said "See you on Girls Gone Wild....." (3 minutes ago)
• Jimmy Kimmel said "and I want my crock pot back." (3 minutes ago)
• Sarah Silverman said "You mean your swedish penis pump? That's your code for it right? It doesn't work - you're still microscopic." (2 minutes ago)
• Sarah Silverman said "This was the finest piece you'll ever see baby. So when you're alone and spanking, remember what you're missing." (1 minute ago) ...and again. (58 seconds ago)
• Jimmy Kimmel said "Missing? No one's missed your twat, you sling it all over town!" (28 seconds ago)
• Sarah Silverman said "Take that, jerkface. I can't believe I wasted my early 30s on you!" (12 seconds ago)

Episode Recap Archives

Reordered so most recent is on TOP - stupid fat Jimmy wasn't allowed to be there, because I nearly suffocated every time.

January 23, 2008's broadcast

January 10th: End the Writer's Strike and stop Team Zombie Hardcore!!

December 29th: Happy Holidays

November 20th: Branching out a little further...

November 9th: The Bash Cracks Corn But Jimmy don't care...

November 7th: Dateline: The Hospital Of Loserdom

November 7th: Grrrr!!!

November 2nd: And the Rubicon is Crossed...

October 19th: Killing, Dead or Alive

October 17th: A bit of a detour

October 15th: What a lovely weekend!!

October 8th: Spies!! Oh NOES!!

October 3rd: What a lovely day for a massacre!

Policies and Tags

Except Sarah. I may or may not abide by these as it suits me. So there you go. --Sarah Silverman 17:08, 6 August 2008 (BST)

	Honor Among Thieves
	This user or group supports the Honor Among Thieves Policy & finds that PKing is more fun when only innocents suffer.

	PKER ALLIANCE
	This user or group is associated with The PKer Alliance

	"I swear to drunk officer! I'm not God!"
	This user or group did the watermelon crawl, bar hop, and pub shuffle across Malton in 2007 with a bunch of inebreated murderers and got totally hammered.

	Silent Night Slaughter
	Ho!Ho!Ho!Ho!Ho! This user or group caroled and celebrated with the residents of Fort Creedy on Christmas Eve in December 2007!!!

	Destroyer Of Hope
	This user or group had a hand in the First Ruining of Fort Creedy since Kevan fixed the forts. 'Twas a great day. Survivors screamed, zombies feasted, and murderers bathed in the blood of the innocent. Barhah! Praise be to Zeko!

... 7695 -- 7807

^^^