User:El Grego/Jameson McDrinkerly

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No one would fault anyone for mistaking Jameson McDrinkerly, born Jameson Dermott John Mahoney Drinkerly IV, for a down-on-his-luck hobo. His hair is gray and greasy, his fingernails dirty, his face unevenly shaven, his teeth yellow and brown. He reeks of Marlboro cigarettes and Wild Turkey and speaks only in the gruff mumbles of a man who has seen life and knows that it is beyond description.

When the zed outbreak, Jameson was asleep at his desk, working reception at the Earletown fire department. His head held low by the albatross of scandal and disgrace, Jameson had once been a minor hero in the Malton Fire Department. But years of hard living had taken its toll on his body, and no level of fame could have saved him from the consequences of the mistakes he made during the Great Neo-natal Wing Hospital Fire of '94, nor the underage heifer porn found under his bunk.

He's skilled with an axe, and possesses a sharp mind tinged with a hint of madness and a complete disregard for his personal wellbeing. You're just as likely to see him waving his axe around his head like an ancient Irish king as you are to see him passed out with a whiskey bottle in his hand in the corner of a shelter. He's currently working with the Rotten Tomatoes survivor group, and is unsure if he really wants to survive the inevitable demise of his stock of booze.

His sheltermates frequently urinate on his collapsed, drunken, smelly body. Not because they don't like him, but because in the dark he bears a striking resemblance to a commode.