You know you've been playing Urban Dead too much when: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 17:31, 4 December 2009

...You hear a low and distant groaning one block to the east and two blocks to the north on your way to work.
...When you get to work you immediately begin barricading your office.
...It costs you 10 AP to get up in the morning.
...Unless you grab your ankles while getting up.
...You spraypaint "STREETS IS WATCHIN'" on the side of your neighbour's house.
...You walk into a Mall and immediately emit a loud groan.
...When people team up on you, you accuse them of Zerging.
...You are learning about first aid in health class and argue that it makes it harder to gain XP.
...Anyone you don't know might be a Zombie spy.
...You see someone with a Trenchcoat and start looking for the "Attack" button.
...You see someone limping and suggest "Lurching Gait"
...Someone asks why you didn't check the messages on your mobile phone and you reply with "I didn't want to waste an AP"
...Your love talk consists of asking her to "grab ma banana manbag"
...ANY of your talk consists of Death Rattle phrases.
...Something good happens and you shout "Barhah!" whether or not you're in the Ridleybank Resistance Front.
...You stop asking questions and just mumble "Mrh?"
...You find an urge to ransack your surroundings when alone.
...You go to a cemetery and try to bring dead people back to life by sticking syringes in their necks.
...asked about the above, you say "Because I support the Sacred Ground Policy."
...trying to coordinate plans with friends that live on the same block you ask for a conversion to GMT or BST.
...any time you would have said "Oh My God" you now say "Zo My God!"
...you get your friends doing the above, and they don't even play Urban Dead.
...you have dreams about being trapped in Malton.
...you carry around a Portable Generator and a fuel can.
...asked about the above, you reply, "To improve my chances of finding something, duh."
...your friends decide it's time for an "intervention".
...you go to a Police Station any time you need ammo or a Flak Jacket.
...you go to hug someone, and have to resist the urge to claw/bite them.
...You join the police, and on the application form, you reason for joining is "to take revenge on PKers".
...You jump out the window because you're confident you'll stand up as a zombie.
...You shout: “Stand up, it only costs 10AP!‿ at a friend's funeral.
...asked to do something you say "Wait half an hour, I need more AP"
...you wonder if Kevan sells IP-Restriction removals in bulk.
...you constantly visit a Wiki page about how you play too much.
...you occassionally refer to real-world murderer's as PKers.
...you hold the door open for someone, not because its courteous, but because you think that maybe they haven't bought Memories of Life yet.
...When you see someone kicking a piece of machine, you refer them as GKers
...You have a strong hatred against the newspapers whenever you see one in a hospital.
...When told you cannot apply for a degree in medicine you say "But I have Diagnosis, First Aid, and Surgery!"
...You accuse identical twins of Zerging.
...If you can use a FAK on a CMS with 5 Zeds next to you, gain some XP, and get MoL next time you are PKed before you become a Mrh cow.
...If you actually understood anything in #40.
... You choose your new home based on penetrability factors.
...After spending a weekend offline you come back and make a vow to never again leave, missing out on all the "breaches."
...You probably can't use "you're" and "they're" correctly 9 times outta 10.
...You have more friends in the CMS than you do "in real life."
...You write stories revolving around your characters/group.
.......and you post them up on the internet and expect everybody to give a damn.
...You drool over 'hot' female survivor descriptions.
...You attack anyone who has a limp.
...You actually cried when Giddings Mall fell.
...You always freak out when you hear someone mutter incoherently.
...Or try to stick syringes on their necks.
...You consider the word 'Banana' as dangerous.
...You've scoped out all the local malls to see which one holds the best stores for zombie survival.
...You sit dumbfounded in your school guidance couselor's office as he says "I'm sorry I just can't seem to find the address of Owens Crescent School [55, 42] anywhere to send your transcript to."
...You watch the evening news every night to see if there is any signs of possible zombie outbreaks.
...Your baby took its first steps, and you responded with the statement "Wow, that's my little shambler!"
...You call up your insurance agent to see if Zombie Apocalypse is covered in your homeowner's policy.
...You start referring to sick people as "infected."
...You constantly write letters to the government, saying release the zombies.
...You go to your local McDonalds and try and order Chick O'Zed™, Malton Dew™ and Finger Fries.
...You always carry a crowbar around just in case you get locked out from work, home or school.
...You spend your sunday afternoon updating this list.
...The concept of 'turning the doorknob' has become too complicated for you. Instead, you just start banging on the door, throwing your body against it, and moaning and groaning at it, hoping it will give way.
...You turn zombie but starve to death, decaying completely, playing UD.
...The first time you saw the video Thriller, you thought it was a zombie workout tape.
...You take your shotgun to a group of drunks.
...After a busy day, A voice comes out of nowhere and says "Your IP address has accessed this server too many times today."
...When applying to your local fire department, you put MFD under "Past Experience".
...You stick a needle in someones neck every time they mumble.
...When you see someone badly hurt, you Drag them outside rather then calling 911.
...You get a zombie mask in Runescape, and decide to wander around Falador saying 'Mrh?' to everyone you meet.
...You're still trying to find a coat large enough to hold over a dozen firearms.
...When someone says a party they're throwing is going to be a big bash, you panic and start looking for weapons.
...You go into a mall and try to find the liquor store and gun store on the directory.
...When you enter a building, you start searching for some kind of passageway that will lead you to the building next to it without having to step outside.
...You try jumping from building to building, claiming the ground "Isn't safe."
...you're tempted to find out how many zombies are at that graveyard as you drive by it.
...you don't find firemen quite as "friendly" as you used to (cuz they keep killing your zombie characters!).
...you can't help but think of how strategically important the campus is to keep free of zombie infestation.
...It costs 10 AP to go shopping.
...You believe all knives are Kitchen Knives.
...Your idea of Christmas presents are Supply Crates.
...You write your address as (54,23).
...You Remember, Remember, the 5th of November.
...You've read this far, and been laughing at how much of this applies to you.
...You just stopped laughing because that last point was true and really creeped you out.
...Excessive groans from your lover make you nervous!
...You feel safer at the mall, for some reason.
...You find yourself wishing you had become a cop, or a fireman, just in case...
...You ask a local policeman if their station is "well barricaded" in case of zombie attack.
...You bought a set of binoculars just because they became available in the game!
...You searched a Hospital and found a Newspaper.
...You're still wondering how I knew you were laughing.
...Whenever you see a radio, you grab it and throw it out the window.
...Rather than ask for assistance when you enter a hospital, you instead loot the place for a First Aid Kit.
...You go around using the First Aid Kits you find on your friends, explaining that you need the XP.
...You wake up in the middle of the night and beat the hell out of your S/o because you mistook his snoring for a zombie attack.
...You groan loudly to call your family to dinner.
...You talk about "attack times" when planning a Friday night with friends.
...You don't drink beer, since "First aid kits are more AP efficient!"
...Asked for your resume in a job interview, you give them your profile number and Wiki username.
...You don't fear death at all. You'll just wait in the cemetery until the local scientists come around.
...You set your alarm clock to X:00.
...Whenever your clothes get dirty, you throw them away and switch them for a clean pair.
...You make a D&D character who thinks he's a zombie, speaks in death rattle, attacks with claws and bites, worships Zambah G-Zaz in the church of Barhah, and carries around bananas for the purpose of...well, you know...
...The other players start understanding what said character is saying even without you giving a translation.
...You've written songs in Death Rattle.
...Your search of the local hospital returned yet another damn newspaper.
...You cite HP gain as evidence that drinking large quantities of beer and wine is good for you.
...You curse the 10% chance of finding your keys in the morning.
...When you try cleaning your house, the first thing you do is set up barricades.
...When you rub one out to the suburb danger report on the wiki.
...When you pick out the plot holes in zombie films because they don't fit in with your UD experiences.
...When you swear at the stupidity of survivors on said zombie films.
...When you daydream about what you're going to do next with your character in UD.
...You've listened to Johnathon Coultons 'Re. Your Brains' so many times you know most (if not all) of the words.
...You base your time on the internet around what you do in Urban Dead and the wiki.
...You've heard someone shout gangbang and instantly thought of Gun wielding survivors.
...You wear a toe tag, just like your character.
...You wonder if you can jump from your office building window to the apartment's next to the building without falling.
...You look at your (Dorm room, House, Apartment, Cubicle) and ask yourself "How many AP is this going to take to clean up?"
...You looked up the locations of #54 and #83, and wondered why anyone would want to go to school in Ridleybank / live in a wasteland.
...You start referring to the Prime Minster of Australia as "Kevan".
...You hit your friends with a newspaper when you want to get their attention without injuring them.
...Whenever you get lost, you fire a flare into the air instead of asking for directions.
...You can't do more than 50 things in one day before falling asleep.
...You carry 5 loaded shotguns with you to the mall.
...You never have sex with the lights off because it halves your accuracy.
...You have searched YouTube for Urban Dead videos, And watch them when you get IP blocked
...You have asked locals to make a barricade plan in case of zombie outbreak...
...And when they said you were crazy you overcaded their homes.
...When you decide to add things to this already long list...
...But find that everything you can think of is already here.
...You refer to all infants in real life as "Babahz" and fight the urge to feed them warm pink brahnz
...You continually spraypaint Police Departments with the words "Keep at VSB++, Entry Point. No overcading, trenchies!"
...You have this list on your "watchlist"
...After too many hours of playing Urban Dead, You find yourself adding something to the list that already happens to be there.
...After too many hours of playing Urban Dead, You find yourself adding something to the list that already happens to be there.
...You search wikipedia, mistaking it for UDWiki, and are briefly confused as to why your group's page doesn't seem to exist.
...You've read to the bottom of this list, without skipping anything.
...You use Google Earth to look over for where Malton is located in the world...
...And u try checking if the building scheme is the same as in the game!
...you no longer use the Internet, only NecroNet.
...you think that Pathetic Bill is more dangerous than Charles Manson.
...Whenever a relationship is going badly, you sit on your own in the dark, safe in the knowledge you cannot be dumped.

@@ Line 146: / Line 146: @@
 # ...you no longer use the Internet, only [[NecroNet]].
 # ...you think that [[Pathetic Bill]] is more dangerous than Charles Manson.
+# ...Whenever a relationship is going badly, you sit on your own in the [[dark]], safe in the knowledge you cannot be dumped.

You know you've been playing Urban Dead too much when: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 17:31, 4 December 2009

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