- This page is an archive.
User:Revenant
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WIKI LAW
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| This user or group enforces Wikilaw, the highest law in the land.
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Edit: please place all new editing under unique headers. Click [+] for ease.
Hello. My name is Inigo— er. Let me start again.
Revenant
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Where is Malton?
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| Revenant thinks that Malton is a producer of fine malt beverages, wherever it may be.
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Mmmm, cheese…
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| Revenant really, really likes cheese.
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Coffee Addict
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| Revenant believes coffee is the NECTAR OF THE GODS.
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Swim swim hungry!
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| Revenant belives that Dopefish lives and that it's still hungry.
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Sobriety
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| Revenant is currently in a quantum uncertainty state, and must be observed to determine sobriety. (Heisendrunk?)
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>:(
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| This user knows that the psyops are conspiring against us.
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Formatting Nazi
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| Revenant is a formatting Nazi and will fix your lists, indents, links, template calls or other wiki-code without asking.
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Fire is Pretty
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| Revenant thinks that fire is pretty.
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Sysop
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| Revenant is a former sysop.
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Cheater
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| Revenant cheats. Deal with it.
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MURDERBALL!!!
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| Revenant has caught Murderball fever and is currently contagious.
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Goon
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| Revenant is to be shunned and persecuted for being a filthy goon from the Something Awful forums.
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Stupidity Tolerance
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| This user tolerates stupid people. It's not their fault.
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Ban Ignorance
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| This user does not tolerate ignorant people. It is their fault.
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Misconbitragnarok
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| This user can see the end fast approaching.
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Revenant is my preferred handle, but, out of necessity, I frequently mutate into a variant of the name. Thankfully, I was able to grab the name on this wiki.
I enjoy an eclectic mixture of complexity and simplicity in many things. ᚱᛁᚹᛖᚾᚨᚾᛏ
At some point I threw my use page open for community editing. Of course, the template I made to advertise this, User:Revenant/EditMe, has so far been much more popular for editing. Go figure. Nonetheless, feel free to vandalise improve this page (or that one!) to your heart's content.
Handle
What exactly is a revenant, you may ask?
French, from the present participle revenir 'to return', from Old French, see revenue.
revenant (plural revenants)
- someone who returns from a long absence.
- a supernatural being that returns from the dead; a zombie or ghost.
In a zombie game, being a revenant is extraordinarily appropriate. :)
Characters
- See characters for more details. In various states of donation, idleness and play
Malton
- Alan Corvus
- buccaneering volunteer firefighter and amateur actor (SOC)
- Victor Kapteyn
- needle-happy know-nothing pr1ck (KN)
- The Pirate LeChuck
- gone though fire and rot and back (TS)
- Duke D'oeuvre
- debonair discursive dacnomaniac (LCGHC)
- Al Gore Mortis
- Malton's foremost anti-breather environmentalist (SAN)
- Gaius Furius Pacilus
- everyone's favourite censor – good morning tasty!
- Rite Rev'd Revenant
- carryover corsair cap'n and "priest" (MOB)
- A here-unnamed troublemaker
Other
- Two here-unnamed Monroevillains, one still living, one not (both idled)
- Mr Cool No Pants
- letting it all hang out (BPC)
Wiki
Originally learned wiki at Wikipedia. WikiGnome.
- Projects
Testimonials & TRUFAX
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Damn you, Revenant. Damn you to Hell.
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”
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—Gus Thomas
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Damn you, Revenant. Damn you to Hell.
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”
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—AnimeSucks
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The Blob hereby grants his holy assent to Revenant to govern Malton in his holy name, to use any likeness and image of the gelatinous master in efforts to enslave help the citizens of Malton. The Blob hereby commissions the Malton Mint to put the image of the Blob and his Mayor, the honorable Revenant on all currency. The Blob decrees all traces of Undead puppetry be stricken from the voting record so that only Misanthropy and Revenants honest and true campaign may be seen. While the sinister Kyle Style and Evil Jorm waged a campaign of mistrust, mud slinging and other sick games only filthy and unclean zeds could enjoy, Misanthropy and Revenant were kissing babies and making promises of tax cuts which we can all believe in. Revenant is uncorruptable and the Blob is pleased to see such a noble and upstanding citizen take office.
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”
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—Dr Summeroff
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Damn you! Damn you to my basement!
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”
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—Grim s
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Rev's the worst. If he's here, he's drunk. If he's not drunk, he's asleep. If he's not asleep, then maybe he'll be here, although late.
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”
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—Banana
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I am a voting for Mis cuz he's a cool guy and for Rev for being the ONLY candidate to try to be an actual politician. You know, actually campaigning, contacting voters, employing dirty tactics. During the 2012 election, when Obama knocks on your door, will you take him to court for spamming? Blasphemy!
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”
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—Thadeous Oakley
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revenant cues up on a durability of 675 days
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”
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—Dr Horse PhD
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Rev's arguing strength is derived from his skill in delivering non sequiturs that don't appear to be non sequiturs at first blush. It's hard to argue with someone who is constantly shifting the topic to something he can better defend without it always being obvious that he has done so. It doesn't help that he'll sometimes argue self-contradictory statements simultaneously if they can be used to counter you, all on the assumption that you won't catch the contradiction (I love doing this to friends in real life, honestly).
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”
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——Aichon
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The section formally known as Misc
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Congratulations, You suck...
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| UDWiki has voted. Revenant is the winner of The Best Puppet Award.
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Grim is a God
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| This User or Group believes that Grim should be nominated for sainthood, and placed on a pedestal with the other greats of our time.
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| This user fears his wiki overlord(s).
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| UDWiki IRC
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No rumor could have exceeded the reality; the study was filled with cronies, the air heavy with tobacco smoke, trays with bottles containing every imaginable brand of whiskey stood about, cards and poker chips ready at hand--a general atmosphere of waist-coat unbuttoned, feet on the desk, and the spittoon alongside.
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Zombie-Cat
You are lying outside the Usher Building, a large magenta-stone building with a perfectly functional roof. You recognise it as not being owned by NecroTech. The building has been extremely heavily barricaded with a piece of paper.
Somebody has spraypainted Cataracts onto a wall.
Since your last turn:
- Zombie-Cat claws you in the face for 75 damage. (12 hours and 35 minutes ago) ...and again. (12 hours and 35 minutes ago) ...and again. (12 hours and 35 minutes ago) ...and again. (12 hours and 35 minutes ago)
- You were killed by Zombie-Cat (12 hours and 34 minutes ago)
- SilverMemory pets Zombie-Cat. (12 hours and 32 seconds ago)
- Prima Giedi said "D'awwwww, can we keep it? Might need to clip its claws, though." (6 hours and 52 minutes ago)
This space for rent
Enquiries welcome.
Two Gentlemen of Lebowski
The moft excellent comedie and tragical romance of
TWO GENTLEMEN OF LEBOWSKI.
As writ by MR. ADAM BERTOCCI,
Taking infpiration from MR. WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
and the BROTHERS COEN.
Prefented in FIVE ACTS.
N E W Y O R K, 2 0 1 0.
- Full play available at /Two Gentlemen of Lebowski.
Recipes
Kindly contributed by editors and available at /Recipes.
urban dead friends
revenant says that everyone should join urban dead friends group on facebook. Do it and come and ruin places with us! A ZOMBIE ANT 03:14, 29 September 2012 (BST)
Do it faggots. I have pictures of cars and guns on there!--SA 11:01, 23 December 2012 (UTC)
The History of The Revenant
In early 2007, while the wind howled sweet nothings in my ear and the caltrops prickled easily underfoot, I had my first meeting with the Revenant. He was leaning against a wall in a side alley just off Larger Josset Street in East London, his trousers open and a half-penny trollop half-heartedly licking what she found there.
After chasing the bedeviled she-creature off with a stick, I invited the Revenant to have a drink with me at a pub down the street, the Hob and Oxen. He took me up on the offer, and we spent the rest of the night uproariously drunk.
We exchanged letters for a while afterwards, but I did not encounter the Revenant in person until late in 2009, when, during a shopping trip to Fendleham, I tripped over his inert form on my way out of a brothel. I picked him up, and being unable to rouse him in any way, I dragged him to my hotel room. We spent many a pleasant evening in each others company in that shabby place, and I still rock back on my heels to remember it.
It has been three years since that fateful meeting in Fendleham and we are now happily married with three children and a small white dog.
