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= Malton Observer: August 31st, 2008 =
= Malton Observer: August 23rd, 2009 =
 
The Malton Observer would like to thank its sponsors:
*'''eBay''' - Who doesn't want a piece of you?
*'''Brute''' - How else will you learn?
*'''MEMS''' - We need more people to give a FAK
 
{|border="1"
{|border="1"
|-
|-
|[[#News at a Glance|News at a Glance]]
|[[#The Last Several Months at a Glance|News at a Glance]]
|-
|-
|[[#Interview with John Cannonfodder|Interview with ''John Cannonfodder'']]
|[[#Letter from the Editor|Letter from the Editor]]
|-
|-
|[[#The Malton Uprising|The "Malton Uprising"]]
|[[#Interview with Al Bundy|An Interview with Al Bundy]]
|-
|-
|[[#Whatever That Means!|Whatever That Means! (Q&A)]]
|[[#Hardcore Rockabilly-Gate|The Hardcore Rockabilly Controversy]]
|-
|-
|[[#Fun Corner|Fun Corner]]
|[[#Fun Corner|Fun Corner]]
|}
|}


== News at a Glance ==
== The Last Several Months at a Glance ==
*'''Urban Dead Dying?''' - The game is down 10 000 players since Janurary.
*'''DORIS Declares War on [[AZS]]''' - DEM to send aid to allies.
*'''Home-made Alcohol and You''' - Is it worth the explosion dangers? Experts say yes.
*'''DORIS Ends War on [[AZS]]''' - That kind of sucked.
*'''50+ AP Ruins''' - "WTF?" says one Brainstock user.
*'''[[PKA]] Disbands''' - Analysts blame Blanemcc.
*'''Breakfast Preference Poll Results''' - Pancakes 29%, Waffles 14%, French Toast 57%
*'''Labine50 Retires from DEM''' - Doctor Tom quoted, "See, now I ''know'' this is joke."
*'''Saskatchewan is still flat''' - New study confirms.
*'''John Cannonfodder steps down from Fire Chief''' - It was nice working with you.
*'''Is the DEM right for me?''' - Experts say you should consider joining the DEM if you enjoy syrup, world domination, or if your name is Saromu.
*'''McCrunchky to take over as Fire Chief''' - Congratulations, McCrunchky!
*'''Clash of the Titans''' - Unconfirmed reports state [[The Imperium]] has allied with the [[Malton Uprising]].
*'''Urban Dead Dead?''' - Several plays unable to connect.
*'''Urban Dead Back Up''' - Take that, real life.
*'''Fort Perryn To Be Retaken''' - Brainstock member quoted, "Godspeed you poor fools."
*'''Fort Perryn Retaken''' - Brainstock member quoted, "Survivors seriously took back Perryn? For more than a minute?"
*'''Fort Perryn Falls''' - Brainstock member quoted, "I never thought YOU would die."
*'''Team Zombie Hardcore Makes Triumphant Return''' - Not this again...
*'''The Blackmore Building retaken!''' - Hard Knock Life and Axes High take back landmark.
*'''The Blackmore Building falls!''' - Joint operation fails to keep building secured.
*'''Tom Chardon Steps Down''' - GFJ to take over as Chief of Forensics.
*'''First Annual Summer Solstice Fire Drill and Annual Barbecue''' - The first of what is expected to be an annual event a success.
*'''DORIS Declares War on [[TZH]]''' - To avenge death of Michael Jackson.
*'''DORIS Forgets About War on [[TZH]]''' - Or something. I'm not exactly sure.
*'''Hardcore Rockabilly Banned''' - ...wait, what?
*'''Sonny Banned''' - Due to apparent involvement in spying.
*'''Hardcore Rockabilly Un-Banned''' - Miscommunication blamed for incident.
*'''DEM to Discuss Reforms''' - Cool sigbars for all!
*'''McCrunchky steps down from Fire Chief''' - Good luck out there!
*'''Choppers McGee to take over as Fire Chief''' - Make sure you save enough time to right articles!
*'''Several DEM Groups to hold Fake Elections''' - Voter turnout expected to be low.
*'''The Malton Observer Publishes New Issue''' - No, seriously.
*'''Brainstock Moves''' - [http://s1.zetaboards.com/brainstock/index/ Update those URLs!]
*'''Sonny Not Banned''' - "Unban Sonny" protests expected to continue anyway.


== Advertisement ==
== Letter from the Editor ==
[[Image:MO_Ad_1.jpg]]
...aaaaaaand we're back! Not exactly back with a bang, I know. With retirements galore and all kinds of other stuff going on, we're a bit... *Ahem* Short-staffed. Still though, it will take more than some staffing problems to silence this paper!


-'''Dr. Wolf'''
Please welcome to the Malton Observer team our latest reporter, Lt. Mesa! He did an interview with Al Bundy, which you can obviously read below. (One of the articles that trickled in between last February and today.)


== Interview with John Cannonfodder ==
On the retirement side, we say goodbye to Watchman, Ridleysoul, the Chardons, Ferrum Leo, and William Told. We all wish them the best IRL or wherever they ended up. Glad to see you back, too, -'''Labine50'''
''Malton Observer: Please state your name and position in the DEM.''


'''John Cannonfodder: John Cannonfodder, Fire Chief of the Malton Fire Department.'''
== Interview with Al Bundy ==
'''Malton Observer: What's your character name?'''


''MO: How long have you been a member of the DEM for?''
''Al Bundy: Al Bundy.''


'''JCF: 2 years and 3 months.'''
'''MO: Time in the UD?'''


''MO: Who is your favourite council member?''
''AB: A few days''


'''JCF: Karija used to be my mentor and Confidant, so she gets a special notice. I like just about every councillor quite a bit, though, so it's difficult to actually choose one. Bri and Rennis often drop me a line to say hi or help out, even if I haven't asked for it, so they are prolly my favourites... Plus they're women. ;) I’ve known and been through a lot with my AFC, Labine, as well as Orfui, 21Charlie and others from the good ol' Southwest. Then of course there are the wisened old codgers like Winnan, For d, FatherThompson. I've seen most of these folks around here since I started playing the game, so we're kinda like a deranged family of sorts.'''
'''MO: Your history here; some information of your character.'''


''MO: What is your favourite colour?''
''AB: My name is Al Bundy, I'm a shoe salesman''


'''JCF: Burgundy Red.'''
'''MO: What about "No Ma'am"?'''


''MO: What is your favourite moment in your DEM career?''
''AB: No Ma'am is group to stop the advancemen of women.''


'''JCF: The first Big Bash was an absolute highlight: I was just out of the academy, a lieutenant stationed in North Blythville. The speed with which that horde steamrolled through the division was incredible: every time you moved out of the way, your new safehouse was under attack within hours... there was no way to cade up against that. Eventually, I hooked up with the Academy, who were holding out in Tapton. Our struggle to stay alive together and rebuild was epic.'''
'''MO: You are the leader of that group?'''


'''Other great events have been the DEM New year's Eve party 2007-2008, the Block parties and the joint NW-SW effort to reclaim the NW when it was in shambles... Oh, and <nowiki>[Northwest Battalion Chief]</nowiki> McCruchy’s pub-crawl. *grins*'''
''AB: I am the leader.''


''MO: Do you have any words of wisdom for survivors?''
'''MO: Why you think woman situation in UD is bad for us [the men]?'''


'''JCF: Join a fun group that suits you. Try out a few other paths with an alt, like a zed or Pker... You can't understand how to fight a zed if you've never actually *played* one. Don't use up too much time and energy with officer duties / admin duties / whatever, or it will burn you out. Have an open mind and stay civil towards your fellow players. Keep in mind that you're playing a game, and that it's supposed to be fun. And wear sunscreen.'''
''AB: Women should not have a role in Malton, they will turn us into man-servants. Already you see men bowing down to them because they attempt to control everything they see''


''MO: Do you think Kevan likes the zombies more than the survivors? His latest updates seem to favour them over us.''
'''MO: What you think about men playing a woman role?'''


'''JCF: Nope, I think he just tries to keep the game challenging... plus it must be fun to experiment with how far you can go. We have managed to overcome so many challenges... I wonder if folks here still even remember the time when we had no encumbrance issues, buildings couldn't be even ransacked, let alone ruined or darkened... In retrospect I wonder why we weren't bored to tears, then! In addition, Kevan also beefed up our search rates when he saw the effect of the ability for zeds to block cading efforts (Giddings siege in January). Oh, that's a favourite moment too, BTW. Anyway, he does his best to keep things balanced IMO.'''
''AB: Men should never pretend to be women, that is shameful''


''MO: What do you think we, the members of various DEM groups, can do to increase our numbers? A few of the groups have noticed a shortage of manpower as of late.''
'''MO: Things you need to begin your "work"?'''


'''JCF: Difficult question. Many folks would agree that this game has gone on for quite a while now and that it has passed its prime, but I also know that people have been claiming that the game is dying since, well, for over a year now? Guess what: we're still here. Anyway, don't let yourself be confined within Brainstock, DEMON and our internal sitreps. 1-2 AP per day to talk in-game is not enough: make it 5-6 AP or more, if the situation presents itself. Even a pleasant conversation with no speeches whatsoever can make people curious about who you are... they'll find your group affiliation in your character profile.'''
''AB: I need more men and a list of females to begin my work.''


''MO: Thank you for your time, did you have anything to add in closing?''
'''MO: What can do the womens to stop that?'''


'''JCF: I like the idea for a newspaper like this... Kudos to you guys for putting in the effort to make it happen!'''
''AB: Women could stop me by banning me from here, [Brainstock] which is cowardly.''


-'''Nero'''
'''MO: You love "Married With Children," no?'''


''Note from the Editor- This is the last time for a while that Nero will be writing for The Observer. Best of luck to you in real life!''
''AB: I love that show.''


== The Malton Uprising ==
--'''Lt. Mesa'''
A lot of you have probably heard of the [[Malton Uprising]] by now, through Secruss' "advertising", seeing drama on Brainstock, or randomly searching "Malton Uprising" for whatever reason. Indeed, I've gotten a few messages either warning me about the Uprising or DEM members voicing concerns over it. I have a few simple words for everybody reading this right now- ''Don't worry so much.'' The average DEM member gets PKed quite often as it is, and frankly, this can't be any worse.


There may not be many people who have been around long enough to remember PK Day, June 6th 2006. I don't think I died, let alone get PKed. Certainly, there are less targets now, but DEM members always have to remember that we have allies and a dedicated reviving group. Unless these PKers feel like killing upwards of 1 000 people, it won't be that hard to get a revive and back on your feet in a day.
== Hardcore Rockabilly-Gate ==
Very few people are left on Brainstock don't know about Hardcore Rockabilly's ban in early July. I doubt any single event has caused quite such a political hail storm for the Brainstock Team. The entire reason behind the ban was the apparent breach of "Rule 10", the anti-spying rule. Allegedly, Hardcore was reading aloud a DEM Council discussion to several people in Skype; some of whom weren't in the DEM. As it was later revealed, there were in fact no members of the Skype conversation that were not in the DEM at the time. Many are inclined to point the blame for the incident at the person who reported the alleged spying, but I don't think he is to blame. As he has since said, it was a very spur of the moment decision.


That said, I wish PKers luck on 09/09/08. (You couldn't have picked a significant number like 8/24 or 8/8/8?) I used to always hear about some massive PKing coalition utterly pwning a suburb, mall, et al every month or two, yet the last one in memory was the "Imperium Must Die". We need more of those things to keep the game interesting.
The actual validity of the ban aside, it has raised questions of the reliability of the Brainstock Team. Hardcore remained banned as long as he did due to most of the admin staff being off on vacation during the summer. Personally, I can't blame them for taking advantage of the often too short season. Other issues such as the ban before it was adequately researched remain untouched on, (As is the case with the related banning of Sonny) however it can be argued that it doesn't really matter since everyone is starting off with clean slate on the new board.


-'''Labine50'''
All in all, this doesn't seem to be a case of neglect or rule breaking, but rather a simple mistake made from a lack of communication. Nobody is really at fault here, and if they were, it wouldn't matter with the new board and all previous bans repealed. Perhaps we should all just be a bit more careful in the future.


== Whatever That Means! ==
--'''Labine50'''
Whatever That Means! is in need of more questions from the public! Please, don't make the Chardons scrape the bottom of the barrel.
 
You wouldn't like the bottom of the barrel.
 
[mailto:askachardon@gmail.com askachardon@gmail.com]


== Fun Corner ==
== Fun Corner ==
[[Image:MO_Comic_2-a.png|600px]]
Zombie Pickup Lines:
[[Image:MO_Comic_2-b.png|600px]]
*What's a decomposing, maggot infested girl like you doing in a mausoleum like this?
[[Image:MO_Comic_2-c.png|600px]]
*I'm a walking stiff! I don't need Viagra!
 
*I would give my right arm for a night with you. Here, take it!
[http://wiki.urbandead.com/index.php/Humorous_Suggestions/New_Items#Strength_Potion Based on a humorous suggestion.]
*Is that a wooden stake, or are you just happy to see me?
*I love you for your brain.


-'''Tonyay163'''
--'''Tonyay163'''


''Due to Jayefex's vacation there will be no crossword in the Fun Corner this issue.''
</font face>
[[Category:The Malton Observer]]
[[Category:The Malton Observer]]
</font>
<noinclude>[[Category:Inclusions]]</noinclude>

Latest revision as of 16:51, 1 February 2011

Malton Observer: August 23rd, 2009

The Malton Observer would like to thank its sponsors:

  • eBay - Who doesn't want a piece of you?
  • Brute - How else will you learn?
  • MEMS - We need more people to give a FAK
News at a Glance
Letter from the Editor
An Interview with Al Bundy
The Hardcore Rockabilly Controversy
Fun Corner

The Last Several Months at a Glance

  • DORIS Declares War on AZS - DEM to send aid to allies.
  • DORIS Ends War on AZS - That kind of sucked.
  • PKA Disbands - Analysts blame Blanemcc.
  • Labine50 Retires from DEM - Doctor Tom quoted, "See, now I know this is joke."
  • John Cannonfodder steps down from Fire Chief - It was nice working with you.
  • McCrunchky to take over as Fire Chief - Congratulations, McCrunchky!
  • Urban Dead Dead? - Several plays unable to connect.
  • Urban Dead Back Up - Take that, real life.
  • Fort Perryn To Be Retaken - Brainstock member quoted, "Godspeed you poor fools."
  • Fort Perryn Retaken - Brainstock member quoted, "Survivors seriously took back Perryn? For more than a minute?"
  • Fort Perryn Falls - Brainstock member quoted, "I never thought YOU would die."
  • Team Zombie Hardcore Makes Triumphant Return - Not this again...
  • The Blackmore Building retaken! - Hard Knock Life and Axes High take back landmark.
  • The Blackmore Building falls! - Joint operation fails to keep building secured.
  • Tom Chardon Steps Down - GFJ to take over as Chief of Forensics.
  • First Annual Summer Solstice Fire Drill and Annual Barbecue - The first of what is expected to be an annual event a success.
  • DORIS Declares War on TZH - To avenge death of Michael Jackson.
  • DORIS Forgets About War on TZH - Or something. I'm not exactly sure.
  • Hardcore Rockabilly Banned - ...wait, what?
  • Sonny Banned - Due to apparent involvement in spying.
  • Hardcore Rockabilly Un-Banned - Miscommunication blamed for incident.
  • DEM to Discuss Reforms - Cool sigbars for all!
  • McCrunchky steps down from Fire Chief - Good luck out there!
  • Choppers McGee to take over as Fire Chief - Make sure you save enough time to right articles!
  • Several DEM Groups to hold Fake Elections - Voter turnout expected to be low.
  • The Malton Observer Publishes New Issue - No, seriously.
  • Brainstock Moves - Update those URLs!
  • Sonny Not Banned - "Unban Sonny" protests expected to continue anyway.

Letter from the Editor

...aaaaaaand we're back! Not exactly back with a bang, I know. With retirements galore and all kinds of other stuff going on, we're a bit... *Ahem* Short-staffed. Still though, it will take more than some staffing problems to silence this paper!

Please welcome to the Malton Observer team our latest reporter, Lt. Mesa! He did an interview with Al Bundy, which you can obviously read below. (One of the articles that trickled in between last February and today.)

On the retirement side, we say goodbye to Watchman, Ridleysoul, the Chardons, Ferrum Leo, and William Told. We all wish them the best IRL or wherever they ended up. Glad to see you back, too, -Labine50

Interview with Al Bundy

Malton Observer: What's your character name?

Al Bundy: Al Bundy.

MO: Time in the UD?

AB: A few days

MO: Your history here; some information of your character.

AB: My name is Al Bundy, I'm a shoe salesman

MO: What about "No Ma'am"?

AB: No Ma'am is group to stop the advancemen of women.

MO: You are the leader of that group?

AB: I am the leader.

MO: Why you think woman situation in UD is bad for us [the men]?

AB: Women should not have a role in Malton, they will turn us into man-servants. Already you see men bowing down to them because they attempt to control everything they see

MO: What you think about men playing a woman role?

AB: Men should never pretend to be women, that is shameful

MO: Things you need to begin your "work"?

AB: I need more men and a list of females to begin my work.

MO: What can do the womens to stop that?

AB: Women could stop me by banning me from here, [Brainstock] which is cowardly.

MO: You love "Married With Children," no?

AB: I love that show.

--Lt. Mesa

Hardcore Rockabilly-Gate

Very few people are left on Brainstock don't know about Hardcore Rockabilly's ban in early July. I doubt any single event has caused quite such a political hail storm for the Brainstock Team. The entire reason behind the ban was the apparent breach of "Rule 10", the anti-spying rule. Allegedly, Hardcore was reading aloud a DEM Council discussion to several people in Skype; some of whom weren't in the DEM. As it was later revealed, there were in fact no members of the Skype conversation that were not in the DEM at the time. Many are inclined to point the blame for the incident at the person who reported the alleged spying, but I don't think he is to blame. As he has since said, it was a very spur of the moment decision.

The actual validity of the ban aside, it has raised questions of the reliability of the Brainstock Team. Hardcore remained banned as long as he did due to most of the admin staff being off on vacation during the summer. Personally, I can't blame them for taking advantage of the often too short season. Other issues such as the ban before it was adequately researched remain untouched on, (As is the case with the related banning of Sonny) however it can be argued that it doesn't really matter since everyone is starting off with clean slate on the new board.

All in all, this doesn't seem to be a case of neglect or rule breaking, but rather a simple mistake made from a lack of communication. Nobody is really at fault here, and if they were, it wouldn't matter with the new board and all previous bans repealed. Perhaps we should all just be a bit more careful in the future.

--Labine50

Fun Corner

Zombie Pickup Lines:

  • What's a decomposing, maggot infested girl like you doing in a mausoleum like this?
  • I'm a walking stiff! I don't need Viagra!
  • I would give my right arm for a night with you. Here, take it!
  • Is that a wooden stake, or are you just happy to see me?
  • I love you for your brain.

--Tonyay163

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