Jerden Rules Crowbank

Jerden Rules Crowbank
‎
Abbreviation:	JRC
Group Numbers:	Currently 3, hence recruiting
Leadership:	Jerden
Goals:	The acceptance that Jerden Rules Crowbank
Recruitment Policy:	Anyone can join
Contact:	Contact in-game, use this group's discussion page or our forum

	Short-wave Radio Info
	The Crowbank suburb has the following active radio stations. Freq: 26.16: Radio Crowbank

JRC are a group dedicated to maintaining that Jerden Rules Crowbank and to spreading this incontrovertible truth. Survivor, Zombie, PKers and Do-gooders are all welcome to join this noble quest, and may join for as long or as short as they like. As a group we believe that having fun in whatever way you want to is the best way to live in this crazy town, and we have decided that lunacy is incredibly enjoyable.

Our general activities include restoring Crowbank, killing enemies (they started it!), helping allies and JRC members and, if we have time, random acts of destruction and murder in surrounding suburbs, both because it's fun, and because it gets attention. We also die at the hands of vengeful killers and lurch outside as zombies with an alarming frequency, but that can't really be avoided. Still, that part of our activities only slows us down a bit, and we try to make that fun and productive as well. For example, Zombies are very good at preventing overcading in Crowbank.

Please put JRC if you join us, not Jerden Rules Crowbank. It's easier.

JRC is open to all offers of friendship from like minded groups. Add to our discussion page or our forum. We also welcome enemies with open arms and lots of bullets, but please oppose us politely. The exchange of banter with foes is appreciated and encouraged by JRC.

History

Some time ago, aimless and probably insane PKer Jerden (Profile here: http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1919714 ) declared himself High Lord of Crowbank, for reasons unknown to all (including him). After a varied past, Jerden set up this group, Jerden Rules Crowbank, so that others may show support. It helps his ego. Unfortunately, not everyone agrees, and there have been many Regicides of the High Lord, mildly inconveniencing Jerden until someone got round to reviving him. Jerden demands they apologize and stop doing it - it hurts, emotionally and physically! Mildly inconvenience them, that'll show them! (Bullets and stab wounds are merely mild inconveniences in Malton.)

However, Jerden is not the mindless lunatic people may think he is. He has great pride in his suburb, and a strong sense of something warm and fuzzy exists withing his circle of friends, which means Leiter, Anja, and pretty much anyone who hails, heals or revives him.

The fact that people have joined JRC begs the question - who's crazier? Jerden, or the people who follow him?

News

Recent Events:

So, it appears to be "on". Let us wage a futile war for bizarre and probably false reasons. Who says Urban Dead isn't realistic? --Jerden 10:37, 21 August 2013 (BST)

Don't really know what happened... Something about impersonations amd whatever, the important thing is that I finally have a target to shoot at (Yay!) Anyways, blood on the floor and four more. Decider Inchief now lies behind a door. Two nill for JRC.

DISCLAIMER: This note was made by an underling of Jerden and may or may not or could impossibly yet still possibly reflect what he wants to be put on this page. Jerden could perhaps feel free to luckily erease this masochistic yet enriching and profitable post which has lately suspiciously resembled spam. Anyways, this was and still is on. --Leiter 19:32, 20 August 2013 (BST)

Okay, from now on let's treat all radio broadcasts with rampant paranoia as we remember that any broadcasts may be fraudulent. Not that that'll stop me using it, I love adding to paranoia and distrust, but if I want to say something and verify it, I'll post it here. Death to UD Far... Actually, let's not be too hasty just yet. --Jerden 18:55, 20 August 2013 (BST)

It appears that JRC have accidentally started a war with UD Fark, and it's sort of my fault. Let's get things clear:

26.16 MHz: "OK Jerden, this is Decider Inchief"
26.16 MHz: "of UD Fark. I'm at the Spragge" 
26.16 MHz: "and you may consider yourself to be at war" 
26.16 MHz: "henceforth."

In 20:20 hindsight, that was clearly a setup. Only an idiot would fall for it.

So, obviously, I rushed to the Spragge Building and killed Decider Inchief immediately!

Then later, he comes back annoyed (for some reason), and attacks me. I think of this as a continuation of the conflict.

Then:

26.16 MHz: "The Jerden way - make a fake announcement and then go kill" 
26.16 MHz: "whoever you want. Is this your leader Crowbank?" 
26.16 MHz: "Decider Inchief did not broadcast anything." 
26.16 MHz: "To avenge his murder, UD Fark declares a bounty on Jerden's" 
26.16 MHz: "scalp, and anyone who assists him. Broadcasting on the" 
26.16 MHz: "radio is one thing - unjustified PKing is another."

Well, I honestly didn't broadcast the original message, but I may have overreacted. I blame the shadowy "Crowbank Spring" for this. Seriously, someone wants JRC gone. I can't imagine why.

So, as this is all clearly a horrendous misunderstanding, why don't we act like mature adults, apologise, and forget that this ever happened?

Nah. LET THE WAR COMMENCE! I love a good bit of pointless, one sided, and easily avoidable violence! One-nil to Crowbank F.C.? --Jerden 22:21, 19 August 2013 (BST)

A note to our subjects: Somebody (or several somebodies) finds it funny to insult JRC, even impersonating me on the radio. Remember that pathetic attempts to damage the reputation of JRC will always fail, as 1) What reputation, morons? We're a bunch of PKers with ~~delusions of~~ grandeur, people don't exactly respect us, 2) we rule Crowbank for fun, not because we actually believe that everyone will agree with us like lemmings, and 3) All publicity is good publicity, so keep on getting people interested in the group you hate, we really don't care. This is not an attempt to get you to stop (Or is this reverse psychology? Or Reverse-reverse psychology? I dunno.), because I for one find childish insults funny. Monkeys throwing poo, keep on flinging, who are you really embarrassing here? --Jerden 18:11, 14 August 2013 (BST)

Crowbank is now safe. JRC don't want to be vain or anything like that, BUT IT WAS ALL US. ALL OF IT! Completely 100% JRC, honest. No need to thank us, but we will spare the lives of those who do so. However, Crowbank will never truly be safe until a strong leader is put into power, a leader who's name begins with J and ends with n... but let's leave it at that, shall we? Keep up the propaganda and barricade plans! --Jerden 19:21, 8 July 2013 (BST)

So, We're now back in Crowbank, doing a bit of fixing up of the area, increasing property values, that sort of thing. But we could do with all the help we can get! --Jerden 17:06, 29 June 2013 (BST)

Due to circumstances completely outside of JRC's control, Crowbank has been overrun. In about a day? Darn zombies. Anyway, the administration has elected to make a temporary tactical withdrawal from the endangered area, or in simple terms, Jerden's ran away for a bit. But he'll be back, and fully intends to assist in the reclaiming and rebuilding of Crowbank! You know, once the zombie horde's moved on. Futile last stands are for fools and heroes, and we in JRC are neither! Well, maybe fools, but definitely not heroes. --Jerden 21:06, 23 June 2013 (BST)

Some irritant keeps spraying over the High Lord's barricade notifications with obscene profanities such as "Jerden is a fool" and "No more Jerden." We want them to stop doing it, so tell us who they are, anyone with information! Or even better, kill them for us! There will be rewards! Perhaps a knighthood, or a earldom, or some other meaningless but prestige-granting title! --Jerden 18:20, 30 March 2013 (UTC)

Oh yes, and another person (or possibly the same person) is spraying insulting graffiti about the benevolent presence that is Anja Arnheim. Stuff completely tasteless and profane that it's not even funny. Their name, location, and ideally their head would also be liked (just so we're clear, that's the graffitiers head, NOT Anja's). We could stick it on a spike, and watch their zombie try and climb up and get it or something! --Jerden 18:29, 30 March 2013 (UTC)

Behold, Anja's master-piece, which JRC intend to promote via propaganda all across Crowbank. Once we find the Spraycans, of course:

	70	71	72	73	74	75	76	77	78	79
60	wasteland	Lindsey Square	the Blocksidge Building	the Burfield Motel	the Curtice Building	Scallon Lane	the Leggetter Motel	a carpark	Dinwoodie Auto Repair	Peter General Hospital	60
61	the Grinham Building	a factory	Whitesides Bank Dark	Willington Plaza	Hepplethwaite Place School	Dane Street Police Department	Pullinger Auto Repair	Morrell Bank Dark	Court Street	Rillie Cinema Dark	61
62	Club Head Dark	Willshire Boulevard	St. Gregory's Hospital	the Nott Museum	St. Lorenzo's Church	Stickling Park	Burt Square Police Department	the Elsbury Arms	the Rishton Building	Birkbeck Alley	62
63	St. Emelia's Church	Harewood Park	Gear Alley RP	Wootton Square	Club Dowdall Dark	Nickols Drive	the Mydleham Building	Plummer Avenue RP	Bruton Lane	Vautier Place School	63
64	Gajewski Boulevard Railway Station	Beer Place School	Kening Walk	Blight Park (Crowbank)	Templar Place RP	Whitehorn Grove	Exon Alley Railway Station MPM	Brely Avenue	Billings Way	the Beville Hotel	64
65	Wine Street	the Lathom Building	the Lawley Motel	the Spragge Building	Gerrish Square Fire Station	Pearse Grove	Kerby Street	Commins Bank Dark	the Toop Motel	Billett Way	65
66	St. Eugene's Church	Style Towers	St. Piran's Church	Reay Park	Club Ainslie Dark	Lavour Row	Shore Grove RP	Clinch Way Police Department	Farbrother Cinema Dark	the Meade Museum	66
67	Club Ravenhill Dark	Frauley Row	Hely Avenue	a cemetery RP	Manaton Way	Pennecard Park	wasteland	the Mahon Building	Brogan Boulevard School	Huttenbach Drive	67
68	Curdel Street	Floyde Walk	MacLaverty Road	Gayler Library	St. Birinus's Church	Blockwood Auto Repair	the Doubting Building	Rankin Grove	a carpark	Brickenden Park	68
69	the Horwill Hotel	Peryer Auto Repair	Chambers Alley	Anstee Towers	Waish Plaza	Hitchfield Alley	a carpark	a junkyard	the Crape Building	Spinney Alley Fire Station	69
	70	71	72	73	74	75	76	77	78	79

LEGEND

Extremely Heavily Barricaded

Very Strongly Barricaded

No Barricades


Auto Repair Shops	Hospitals	Other (non-TRP)
Factories and Power Stations	NecroTech Buildings	Unbarricadable
Forts and Malls	Police Departments

MPM: Mobile Phone Masts

RP: Revive Points

--Jerden 19:35, 17 February 2013 (UTC)

In order to support this, Jerden gave this rousing speech from Burt street Police department on 26.16 MHz:

"Crowbank! Anyone else who is listening! This is the voice..."
"Of Jerden, High Lord of Crowbank! I have a message." 
"Crowbank has a barricade plan. I support it. So should you." 
"http://wiki.urbandead.com/index.php/PGG_Restoration_Program"
"It is irrelevant whether you support JRC's dictatocracy." 
"This is the People's Barricade Plan!"
"So next time you're spraying over my propaganda, damn kids,"
"stupid vandals, KEEP THE PART ABOUT THE BARRICADE LEVEL!"
"Else we all perish in an overly barricaded wasteland!"
"Lots of love, your benevolent dictator. Jerden has spoken."
"Okay, I also shouted a bit. For your own good! Bye Bye now!"

--Jerden 12:12, 9 March 2013 (UTC)

For Older news, see the Jerden Rules Crowbank/News Archive.

Recruitment

Anyone can join JRC, as long as you are willing to say that Jerden Rules Crowbank (Or the Zamgrh equivalent, Garban ranz Gargazzb!rdbang) and follow a few simple rules (Written Below). Zombies are as welcome as the Living, as JRC seeks to appeal to both sides of Crowbank society. Jerden enjoys playing as both zombie and human, but JRC members can choose for themselves how they want to live/unlive.

If you join JRC you gain access to our Health Benefits (We won't shoot you) and Jerden promises to listen to your opinions. Whether or not he acts upon them is another matter, but he will at least listen and care. Finally, anything you do that doesn't break the rules on this page is technically legal in Crowbank, but very few people obey Jerden. Sorry, but we're currently trying to change that. Anyone crazy enough to help us out?

Rules (Members of the group must):

"Remember: With moderate power comes moderate responsibility" - Elan, Order of the stick #558

Never attack members of JRC. Seriously, don't. The punishment for breaking this rule is to be shot on sight at least once. (I know that shooting traitors actually breaks the first rule, but I'm writing these rules, not you. Shut up!)

Always say something before PKing someone. It's only polite, and pre-death one liners are cool. Plus it helps them to understand why they must die. Ignorance of JRC is a disease to be cured! However, we will forgive you if you forget this rule. Even Jerden does from time to time, and he feels bad about it.

Try not to PK newbies, but instead attempt to indoctrinate them in the ways of our group. Seriously, don't PK any Level 1s, as it's a bit cruel. It's hard enough from them. You choose for yourself when you think they need the stick and not the carrot.

Don't say anything that you wouldn't want someone to say to you in Urban Dead (ie no text rape or anything too offensive). Basically, keep it clean and in-game. After all, we might as well kill people politely!

Play fair. Don't use the tactics described as "unfair" by the Coalition for Fair Tactics, meaning no zerging, alt-abuse or forum spying.

Yeah, that's about it. You can do whatever you want as long as you stick to these few simple rules. You could spread our message of righteous dominance, by speech, radio or graffiti, you could heal people and defend Crowbank, you could kill our enemies, you could kill random people (preferably outside Crowbank, but I'm not going to judge you) - We do whatever we please. It's all good fun.

Amateur Philosophy

"I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more to be than a good dancer." Friedrich Nietzsche

Our Philosophy is simple (rather like Jerden's aims), and based around the fact that in Malton, Death is temporary and harmless, and so should provide the most fun possible for everyone. It doesn't matter what you do, how many players you kill or how many times you die, as long as you enjoy it. Whether you're informing people of the error of not inhabiting Crowbank, avenging JRC, reading the report of your death at the hands of a misguided fellow killer or simply smashing down barricades and eating Harman Bra!nz, a member of JRC will simply cackle with glee. If you kill them, they know you. If they kill you, they know you. If they know you, they know JRC. If they know JRC, the battle is half won. (The second half's harder, but who cares?)

Therefore dying or being revivified is not a problem, as it simply offers new opportunities, and getting killed or revived is pretty easy. This also means that PKing should not be viewed as evil, but just as another way of playing the game. Alternatively, PKer Killing is also a valid occupation, for the PKers who want to fit in with everyone else. Alternative to the Alternative, PKerKer Killing is another valid option, and really just preemptive self defense. Let's face it, accepting PKing means accepting that lot too. As legitimate targets. Jerden refers to this as "The Game", and it really is fun. They kill you, they hide, you kill them, you hide, and so on. It makes playing Urban Dead more fun for everyone involved, and that is JRC's intention.

But, I hear you say (Or maybe I'm just hearing voices...), some people don't want to die! So what? They'll get used to it! Being a Zombie's great fun! And getting revenge is pretty easy and very enjoyable if you feel like it (We don't mind dying, we just enjoy taking revenge!).

Also, we're Communist Monarchist Capitalist Anarchists, striving to install a Dictatocracy (A state of government in which a leader is held in power due the difficulty in getting him to shut up about it). Just so you know.

Register (These guys... these are your friends! Definite Green List!)

Add your name, Title and profile link below to show that your membership. Oh, and obviously add JRC as your group on your profile. How else will we become the most popular group in Malton?

Jerden, Self Proclaimed High Lord of Crowbank Normally found spraypainting propaganda and barricade notifications around Crowbank or killing bland, high level characters who really should know better than to stand around all non-descript. Those people need the excitement of a pointless death, and I'm happy to oblige!

Leiter, The Other Left Hand of Jerden Usually fixing the forums, making my wonderful voice heard on the air and every once in a while I decide to go out there and collect some unsuspecting yet never under lvl 35 heads (unless I know they are being controlled by someone with more experience of the game)

EOMK, Vagabond-Turned-Ambassador, Our current Ambassador outside Crowbank.

Friends and Supporters of Jerden Rules Crowbank (Green list)

“Am I not destroying my enemies when I make them my friends?” - Abraham Lincoln

DOYR (Deserving of your respect), SNBH (Should Not Be Harmed), PAGITATYCSYDMAMAKT (Probably A Good Idea To Add To Your Contacts So You Don't Make A Mistake And Kill Them):

Ex-member FOXLION . He fought as bravely as a lion and as cunningly as a Fox against those who deny our truth, that Jerden Rules Crowbank, and was very helpful. However, Foxlion didn't have the time to keep playing as a member of JRC, so he left, but he left happily and hopefully after having an enjoyable battle.

Ex-member Anja Arnheim. We're still on friendly terms, but she's too good for JRC and got fed up of the people she was trying to help assuming that her presence in a group that contained PKers made her a PKer. It's unfair, so she left.

Saya no Uta, honoured the High Lord with "All hail the supreme overlord of Crowbank! Jerden! *smiles*". It's that easy!

Armpit Odor, a fellow PKer of particular note as he said "Greetings, High Lord of Crowbank!" to Jerden. How friendly of him.

Actions speak a thousand words, but words are still helpful. With that in mind, Jim Thirlwell is added to this list for reviving Jerden and saying "Jerden, my friend. Wonderful to meet you! Here's a special something, for the true lord of Crowbank." It's nice when people show support.

Jerden is pleased to add Seraphina Saint ("*wary* pleased to meet you umm your majesty? I was just passing through...lovely town you have here") and Aronia Walth ("Great leadership, my lord! I alredy filed my papers for the Crowbank green card!" as well as providing healing after an attempted regicide) to this list, a pair of lovely ladies who really made him feel welcome in Crowbank. Of course, JRC are always welcome in our own domain, but sometimes it doesn't feel that way!

An enemy turned friend, a most polite Pistol Whipz (where do they get these crazy names from?), who declared that "Now that I found you Mr Jerden, i'd like to apologize, sorry. you arent such a bad guy after all". Just a note though, the correct form of address is "Your Awesomeness", not Mr, just so you all know.

The Spanish Inquisition - Our friendship began with conflict. We exchanged pleasantries and gunfire as we tried to kill each other. Our banter and insults on the discussion page were incredibly entertaining. While TSI were both more numerous and more competent than JRC, we did pretty well and there was a final score of TSI:23 JRC:18. We kind of got bored and gave up at that point, and ended on friendly terms, so we no longer try to kill each other. It just goes to show that just because you want someone dead, it doesn't mean you can't have fun and laugh along with them. A lesson that many of our current enemies could learn.

Enemies of Jerden Rules Crowbank (Red List, Kill When Convenient)

Brothers. Sisters. The whole city rises against us..." - Ezio Auditore da Firenze, Assassins Creed: Revelations

See Jerden Rules Crowbank: Enemies List. It's a fascinating read!

Disclaimer

Jerden Rules Crowbank is not technically a PKing group, merely one that has members that think that PKing is a fun, harmless and family-friendly way to spread their message. You don't have to PK to join the group, although remember that any enemies we may happen to make may not understand this subtle distinction. In fact, screw that, if they're our enemies they're probably not too considerate so they definitely won't understand. By majority consent, we're a bunch of vicious PKers.