Jerden Rules Crowbank/Enemies List
Add to this list the name, profile and crime of anyone who has commited an act of treason against Jerden, through attacking and/or killing Jerden or one of his associates, the members of Jerden Rules Crowbank and their honorable allies. Inform them of the error of their ways and kill them whenever possible until they apologize. JRC is so popular that this required a separate page, so here we are. The people on this list are to take top priority when it come to teaching people a lesson. Report kills here if possible, so we can keep track of our sucesses. Groups will also be added if sufficient evidence for it is found - meaning if multiple members of your group get onto this list, we'll lump you all in together and save both our groups time.
This list was compiled in good nature, as it serves as a handy way for JRC to keep track of those who challenge our authority. We don't hate you or anything, we just think it would be incredibly satisfying to return the lead you gave us. Think of this as a Hall of Fame if you want to. Let's play the Hunting Game!
JRC recognizes that this list is a stupid idea and will only make the problem worse. However, we have pride. Nobody kills a member of JRC and get's away with it! We put your name on a list! Scared now, aren't you!
Your appearance on this list is up to negotiation with JRC. You may feel that some people get disproportionate amounts of space on the list. That's because they said more interesting things! A note to all Bounty Hunters, Vigilantes, Do-gooders and Cops - Jerden likes someone he can enjoy being killed by. If you don't make it memorable, how are you really helping Malton? Of course, not dying at all is always more convenient for a member of JRC. Something witty is vastly superior to a short insult. We may try to offer improvements on unimaginative one liners, but people must take the initiative.
The list, henceforth, shall proceed in reverse chronolgical order - most recent crimes will be added or moved to the top to make keeping track easier.
roopzs - Public Enemy Number 2 (Jerden being Number One, of course)
Reinstated after having killed Leiter after receiving a pardon. He has now had his chance.
He is determined to oppose us! Again he strikes at us, hindering our valuable services to Crowbank. But I say to Roopz - WE ARE JRC! We faced The Spanish Inquisition and... survived... and we will strike you down at every opportunity, until you leave us be or confess that Jerden Rules Crowbank! --Jerden 17:50, 26 February 2013 (UTC)
Killed me again, but at least he said "good to see you" first. Nice when they're polite. Hopefully I'll soon get a chance to greet him... Violently. --Jerden 20:01, 7 March 2013 (UTC)
Ah... Our friendly rivalry continues. He greeted me with "Oh Hello great ruler Jerden." I was flattered, then he shot me. Then I was dead. Roopz must die! I better have a good look for him, now that the barricade plan is mostly sorted out. --Jerden 19:45, 14 April 2013 (BST)
And I found him! And failed to kill him, due to a lack of AP. I ran away, but he still killed me. I really shouldn't have attacked him, it only told him I was in the area... --Jerden 19:59, 21 April 2013 (BST)
And our friendly rivalry continues, as roopz kills me yet again. Hi to you too, roopz! --Jerden 18:49, 1 May 2013 (BST)
Dammit Roopz, just as soon as I find you I'll kill you so hard you'll... Be dead? Dammit, I can't really do much to you. Still, it's fun to have a nemisis, and I'm used to dying by now. So, dead again. --Jerden 22:04, 5 May 2013 (BST)
Ah, so roopz has a complaint - apparantly "Things are not looking good in Crowbank." Oh, well, maybe if the administration didn't have to try and take cover in dark buildings and shamble outside for revives, it wouldn't be in a bad state! Dead again, but I'll find him some day and be all ineffectual on his ass. Not literally, I'm really not into that! --Jerden 18:24, 20 May 2013 (BST)
Oh roopz, will we ever get bored? Still, I'm not deterred. Irritated, yes, but put off my leadership? No way. I'll gill you later. PS - Would a conversation kill you? How are we meant to be nemeses if you don't give me anything witty to work with? --Jerden 21:26, 19 June 2013 (BST)
"Jerden, great to see you made it through the seige" Thanks roopz, that was a real tender moment there, two friends reunited. You ruined it by killing me. Still, I don't care. --Jerden 11:34, 10 July 2013 (BST)
The [Multiple Profanities Censored] has done it again, the [Multiple Profanities Censored]. If I ever get my hands on him, I'll [Profane and Violent Imagery Censored]. He may think he's helping Malton by irritating me like this. But the thing is, he's a serial killer. Of me. And one day he will suffer. When I get round to it. The general vicinity of Crowbank is a big area to search! I'm not incompetent, he's just good at hiding! Still, he's got better at the banter. Roopz made a clever quip about turning the lights on before powering up a generator in order to kill me.--Jerden 15:51, 15 July 2013 (BST)
Tonyboy
For blasting away at JRC members, without even so much as a word :/ --Leiter 12:54, 6 August 2013 (BST)
Raven Corvus
Dispite her brilliant name and Crowbank Citizenship, Raven said:
"Hmph! the self proclaimed High Lord of my birth suburb of Crowbank and a bounty of only 2? I am……. disappointed. Now as a general rule I don’t bother with baby PKers, but seeing as you wish to play with the big boys and girls, I’ll treat you like one" "Now Jerden here is a little Jedi wisdom to lighten that dark side: “First Jedi principle of combat : survive.” Obi-Wan Kenobi http://rg.urbandead.net/profiles/view/1919714"
She then committed regicide of her own High Lord. A note on the Bounty - Jerden cannot help it if people do not report his actions and has many more victims than that, so while the Rogues gallery is a brilliant way for survivors to hunt down the more morally disputable figures of Malton, such as Jerden (as Raven reminded me), it's not a totally accurate summary of an individual. Anyway, kindly pump Raven full of lead and ask her to report it. Nobody should get away with assaulting Jerden, especially when it disrupted the Sith of November (Hence the Jedi Reference). Some people are so inconsiderate of other peoples schedules. Jerden's one of them, and the hypocrisy of the previous statement never occurred to him. --Jerden 18:21, 19 November 2012 (UTC)
You know that feeling you get when someone both impresses and irritates you? Screw you Raven, you brilliant one line dropper. Screw you to heck.
"Jerden, Do you know what they call a gathering of crows? A murder, a murder of crows. Do you know what they call a gathering of ravens? An unkindness, an unkindness of ravens. This is an unkind murder, but it is also retribution for your sins."
That's what I call an impressive pre-mortem speech AND great linguistic skill! I'm looking forward to revenge, stick around Raven! Or don't, but whatever. Love to hate you. --Jerden 18:28, 29 May 2013 (BST)
Ah, they say Justice has no use-by date. At least, they say it now. For I have struck down this insult to my sovereignty and stood menacingly over her (still warm, because I didn't have time to loiter for too long) dead body. It probably won't teach her anything, but it sure was satisfying. Alright, just twice more and we're even. Yes, My life is worth 1.5 Ravens (or 6.7 sloths, or 0.95 elephants). --Jerden 22:05, 16 June 2013 (BST)
mcnuckles
So yes, I may have killed a few of his teamates last year. And yes, I probably deserved this. But I still plan to kill mcnuckles for this! And while I'm at it, I plan to drop a witty one liner before lining the inside of his skull with lead. SOME PEOPLE like to make their victims feel special as they die, not like this silent member of the Knights Templar. Bland but irritating.
Blind Willie Stavros
As he found no difficulty in shooting Jerden to death in a Bank, and even lit the place up first, it would seem that blindness is not his problem. Instead, it is dumbness, as in being unable to speak, as I got no explaination for why this regacide was necessary. Very unfair. Ah well, can't mope forever, things to do, places to go, people to kill (Everyone on this page), spraycans to find. --Jerden 20:34, 7 April 2013 (BST)
And I got him. Hah. That'll show him. --Jerden 20:45, 18 April 2013 (BST)
And again. I'm a jerk, but I'll stop now. Sadly, I didn't have the AP to say anything, so I'm a bit of a hypocrite. Still, I write the rules, I don't follow them! --Jerden 17:19, 22 April 2013 (BST)
Ah, doesn't it make you irritated when people dare to retaliate? So unfair! Blind Willie killed me again, but he got in some apple related banter. --Jerden 17:08, 23 April 2013 (BST)
useless! just like always! but what is this apple related banter? i am waiting for you...... --Anja Arnheim 17:10, 23 April 2013 (BST)
Berlin Incident
You would think with an amusing name like the, he would be capable of delivering a one liner better than "eat a back of FUCK Jerden." That doesn't even make any sense! Lets see... instead, he should have said something like "Ah, Mr Jerden... We meet at last! I have a piece of lead here with your name on it. So why don't you eat it and get the FUCK out of this suburb!" See how much better that would be? Wittier, longer, much better use of profanity? Just a hint! Or, better still, why not say "Ooh, your Majesty! How may I serve you by ridding this suburb of unimaginative assholes today?" That's what I would prefer, but I'll settle for more imaginative dialogue. Anyway, why don't you wait for me to find you and show you how the nobility gloat. (Hint: WITH STYLE!) --Jerden 17:24, 28 March 2013 (UTC)
Dawn Davenport
For killing Leiter while dropping the ingenious one liner of "Eat this asshole".
Andorinios Psycho
Some people don't know when to quit. JRC is a group of them, but there are many others not on our side:
Andorinios Psycho said "Jerden, you are a PKer, I know its not nice to call someone to account because of something long ago, but you have bounty: http://rg.urbandead.net/profiles/view/1919714" Andorinios Psycho said "DIIIEEEEEEE PKER!!! *BOOOM Headshot*"
I really should see about getting that bounty either cleared somehow or updated. I'll inquire into it. The best way to get their attention would be to kill this psycho...
Ah, we crossed paths eventually, and just to show that Bounty Hunters don't have the monopoly on pettiness or pre-death lectures, I explained to him the legal problems of killing a ruler, namely that said ruler will come back and kill you, then I illustrated this with a practical demonstration upon him. As he's got such a cool name, and because he spoke nicely to me, I'd say justice has been served and we're even. --Jerden 22:11, 7 June 2013 (BST)
Emperor Lrr
An amusingly irritating enemy. He killed Jerden with a shotgun and said "Leiter has brought this upon you Jerden. You do not rule Crowbank. The Omicronians rule all! You will not be spared when the Omicronian invasion fleet comes and destroys this city. Puny earthling!" Well, JRC has news for this so called "Emperor Lrr": This suburb's only big enough for one delusional egomaniac and anyone reading this page knows exactly who it is. ME! --Jerden 18:35, 30 December 2012 (UTC)
Dropbox
Killed Leiter while ha was resupplying in Tollyton. Claims to rule Tollyton and has told JRC to keep out. Also seems to fancy killing PKers. --Leiter 13:56, 10 February 2013 (UTC)
Fyedka
A most rude individual, definatly deserving of death. While Jerden was in another suburb on "business", Fyedka killed Jerden and rather disrespectfully said: "Jerden, you nasty trash. Go back to Crowbank." Jerden is hurt emotionally, and like all internal hurts this can only be solved by external violence. --Jerden 20:54, 19 December 2012 (UTC)
JLH
She pointlessly killed Jerden in Pole Mall for being in her "territory". Who does that? ;)
