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NPOV
The Guard Llamas are a group of survivors and zombies who kill other survivors, mostly because they have not embraced the Way of the Llama and partly because we feel like it. They're usually tasty too, nom nom nom.
End NPOV
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Guard Llama Facts
- Llamas have a natural guarding instinct. Any llamas of the non-Guard type are considered a predator and a danger to the herd.
- Llamas may react in a number of ways when a predator is sighted. They become suddenly alert and very attentive to their surroundings or to the predator. They may sound an alarm call as a warning to the flock that there is a predator present. After sighting the predator, llamas may walk or run towards the predator they spotted and try to chase it away or kick it.
- Llamas have killed that which have threatened their flocks.
- Llamas have been plagued with the unfair reputation of spitting. It is true that they spit, but not under the conditions that most imagine. The vast majority of llamas spit only at other llamas.
Tao of the Guard Llama
- Obey the Pantheon. Protect the Pantheon. Be the Pantheon.
- Any llama who threatens the safety of the herd or commits the act of heresy against the sacred Pantheon will be kicked and spat at mercilessly.
- Have no fear of unfamiliar things, for if it would not happen if it were not natural.
Llama Pantheon
It is the sacred duty of the Guard Llama to defend the honour of the Llama Pantheon and guard their subjects.
God of Llama-War and Spitting; Starter of Jihads and Destroyer of Infidels.
Goddess of Fraternization and Ghetto Booty; Gatherer of Abettors and Dispenser of Retribution.
God of Obstreperousness and Parachuting Sports; Monarch of Moustaches and Tormenter of Simpletons.
Recruitment
There are certain characteristics that one should look for in selecting a Guard Llama. The llama should be mature enough mentally and physically to do the job. Positive traits for a Guard Llama are:
Keep these traits in mind when you are choosing a llama for guarding purposes. Because of their natural behaviors, llamas can make excellent economical additions to a flock looking to avoid difficulties with predators.
Guard Llamas are always looking for other, less spitty llamas to become an avatar of the sacred Pantheon. A good member:
- May or may not spit at other non-Guard llamas, depending on preference.
- Applies their knowledge of the Guard Llama anatomy to heal injured or zombified Guard Llamas if they so desire.
If you wish to become a Guard Llama or allied with us, please drop us a line on our talk page or sign up on our forums.
Allies
- firequag said "I hat the Guard LLamas mrs fibble" (5 minutes ago)
Awww! We hat you too, firequag! <3
Policies and such
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Guard Llama
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This user obeys the
Llama Pantheon, protects the herd and spits at other Llamas willy nilly.
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