View source for Jerden Rules Crowbank/News Archive

This Archive is for Old JRC News. Basically, anything that isn't happening right now.


So, the party's over. I could continue the fight against UD Fark (New tally: 1-0 to them) but I really just feel like spraypainting Crowbank. I may rise from apathy to fight later, but right now it's just not worth it. --[[User:Jerden|Jerden]] 19:45, 20 August 2014 (UTC)

Jerden attended the [[Block Party]] in [[Roftwood]], on a quest of recruitment and pillaging. You may wonder how [[Crowbank]] managed without me - the answer is just fine, my friends.--[[User:Jerden|Jerden]] 21:08, 9 July 2014 (UTC)

Anyway, I'll be playing a game, keeping a tally of kills against deaths for the event. All killing of any other player, as either a zombie or a survivor, counts. All deaths, whether I'm zombie or a survivor, by any other player (or natural causes) count. You'll just have to trust me to be honest, but it should be fun. Let the challenge begin! --[[User:Jerden|Jerden]] 16:19, 16 July 2014 (UTC)

Kills: 5

Deaths: 5

It ended with a draw. I'll get you next time, block party! Just you wait and see! --[[User:Jerden|Jerden]] 19:45, 20 August 2014 (UTC)


After weeks of planning, the good King Jerden and his loyal followers marched to Pitneybank on a matter of foreign policy: [[Samhain Slaughter Seven|the Samhain Slaughter]]. JRC banded together with a diverse coalition of fellow do-gooders, including our friends in [[Flowers of Decay|Flowers of Decay]], [[Philosophe Knights|Philosophe Knights]], [[Cobra (Group)|Cobra]] and [[Unholy Trinity|Unholy Trinity]]. With his Awesomeness himself leading the charge (well, he was in the charge), the alliance was unified to an extent none had thought possible. By our combined efforts, dozens were slain. The fallen included many of the licentious, zerging Yeti swine and their sympathizers, arrogant trenchcoaters, anti-Cobra radicals, a confirmed zombie spy, and a few who committed the crime of standing in front of us while we gunned down others, a serious offense! The good King Jerden himself took out four targets inside Giddings Mall. With all Jerden and his followers do for Crowbank, sometimes it's important to reach out and help improve the rest of Malton, and today this was done with much success. --{{User:TripleU/Crystal_Harrak}} 07:29, 2 November 2013 (UTC)

I'm Jerden, and I approve this message. --[[User:Jerden|Jerden]] 21:43, 7 November 2013 (UTC)


Our good friend Anja Arnheim organized peace talks with UD Fark, JRC's current arch enemies. I attended, and didn't kill anyone for DAYS! Do you know how hard that was? Probably not. Most people repress their inner psycho with ease. I tried, but when they started going on about how JRC must submit to their authority, and stop claiming to rule Crowbank (Which would be disbanding - Do they not understand that we are '''Jerden Rules Crowbank'''?)... Well, I shall quote myself:

"On behalf of JRC, the people of Crowbank, and psychopathic killers everywhere, I would like to thank the organisers of this event for giving me this opportunity to make a few things clear. "

"JRC support a change in the barricade plan. JRC refuse to disband (Stop pretending to rule Crowbank? What would we do?) and submit to anyone. Stop acting like you own the place, you gosh-darned Farkers, acting like we own the place is our job!"

"So, while I'll start getting a better barricade plan sorted out, with the help of the community, just remember that JRC will never give up, never surrender, and never stop revelling in wanton violence. Your group's arrogance, and being in our way..."

"Has brought a sentence of death upon thee, so-called Decider Inchief! Remember, you can beg for forgiveness and mercy at any time, and I'll stop. Until then, war. Sorry, but I like targets that shoot back. It makes Malton more interesting!"

You fire your pistol at Decider Inchief for 5 damage. Their flak jacket absorbs 1 point of that damage. They die.

"By the last-man-standing rules of the debating table, UD Fark concede the argument to JRC. This is how negotiation works, right? See you soon, sorry about the mess, but I love a few blood flecks from bloody Farkers (no insult intended, it's now literal!)." --[[User:Jerden|Jerden]] 22:48, 12 October 2013 (BST)


JRC is still at war with UD Fark, and we deny responsibility. They provoked us!

'''Current Score (JRC will update as necessary): JRC 58, UD Fark 22.'''
Now that they're organised better, this is getting harder, but much more entertaining. --[[User:Jerden|Jerden]] 22:01, 7 November 2013 (UTC)


On a less violent note, we are genuinely willing to get involved in any changes to the barricade plan. We are also willing to not get involved if requested. A lot of people may prefer not to support a barricade plan supported by us. --[[User:Jerden|Jerden]] 22:48, 12 October 2013 (BST)

Don't really know what happened... Something about impersonations amd whatever, the important thing is that I finally have a target to shoot at (Yay!) Anyways, blood on the floor and four more. Decider Inchief now lies behind a door. Two nill for JRC.

DISCLAIMER: This note was made by an underling of Jerden and may or may not or could impossibly yet still possibly reflect what he wants to be put on this page. Jerden could perhaps feel free to luckily erease this masochistic yet enriching and profitable post which has lately suspiciously resembled spam. Anyways, this was and still is on. --[[User:Leiter|Leiter]] 19:32, 20 August 2013 (BST)


Okay, from now on let's treat all radio broadcasts with rampant paranoia as we remember that any broadcasts may be fraudulent. Not that that'll stop me using it, I love adding to paranoia and distrust, but if I want to say something and verify it, I'll post it here. Death to UD Far... Actually, let's not be too hasty just yet. --[[User:Jerden|Jerden]] 18:55, 20 August 2013 (BST)


It appears that JRC have accidentally started a war with [[UD Fark]], and it's sort of my fault. Let's get things clear:

 26.16 MHz: "OK Jerden, this is Decider Inchief"
 26.16 MHz: "of UD Fark. I'm at the Spragge" 
 26.16 MHz: "and you may consider yourself to be at war" 
 26.16 MHz: "henceforth."

In 20:20 hindsight, that was clearly a setup. Only an idiot would fall for it.

So, obviously, I rushed to the Spragge Building and killed [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=2009522 Decider Inchief] immediately!

Then later, he comes back annoyed (for some reason), and attacks me. I think of this as a continuation of the conflict.

Then:
 26.16 MHz: "The Jerden way - make a fake announcement and then go kill" 
 26.16 MHz: "whoever you want. Is this your leader Crowbank?" 
 26.16 MHz: "Decider Inchief did not broadcast anything." 
 26.16 MHz: "To avenge his murder, UD Fark declares a bounty on Jerden's" 
 26.16 MHz: "scalp, and anyone who assists him. Broadcasting on the" 
 26.16 MHz: "radio is one thing - unjustified PKing is another."

Well, I honestly didn't broadcast the original message, but I may have overreacted. I blame the shadowy "Crowbank Spring" for this. Seriously, someone wants JRC gone. I can't imagine why.

So, as this is all clearly a horrendous misunderstanding, why don't we act like mature adults, apologise, and forget that this ever happened?

Nah. LET THE WAR COMMENCE! I love a good bit of pointless, one sided, and easily avoidable violence! One-nil to Crowbank F.C.? --[[User:Jerden|Jerden]] 22:21, 19 August 2013 (BST)




A note to our subjects:
Somebody (or several somebodies) finds it funny to insult JRC, even impersonating me on the radio. Please remember that pathetic attempts to damage the reputation of JRC will always fail, as 1) What reputation, morons? We're a bunch of PKers with <strike>delusions of</strike> grandeur, people don't exactly respect us, 2) we rule Crowbank for fun, not because we actually believe that everyone will agree with us like lemmings, and 3) All publicity is good publicity, so keep on getting people interested in the group you hate, we really don't care. This is not an attempt to get you to stop (Or is this reverse psychology? Or Reverse-reverse psychology? I dunno.), because I for one find childish insults funny. Monkeys throwing poo, keep on flinging, who are you really embarrassing here? --[[User:Jerden|Jerden]] 18:11, 14 August 2013 (BST) 


Crowbank is now safe. JRC don't want to be vain or anything like that, BUT IT WAS ALL US. ALL OF IT! Completely 100% JRC, honest. No need to thank us, but we will spare the lives of those who do so. However, Crowbank will never truly be safe until a strong leader is put into power, a leader who's name begins with J and ends with n... but let's leave it at that, shall we? Keep up the propaganda and barricade plans! --[[User:Jerden|Jerden]] 19:21, 8 July 2013 (BST)

So, We're now back in Crowbank, doing a bit of fixing up of the area, increasing property values, that sort of thing. But we could do with all the help we can get! --[[User:Jerden|Jerden]] 17:06, 29 June 2013 (BST)

[[Big Bash 4|Due to circumstances completely outside of JRC's control]], Crowbank has been overrun. In about a day? Darn zombies. Anyway, the administration has elected to make a temporary tactical withdrawal from the endangered area, or in simple terms, Jerden's ran away for a bit. But he'll be back, and fully intends to assist in the reclaiming and rebuilding of Crowbank! You know, once the zombie horde's moved on. Futile last stands are for fools and heroes, and we in JRC are neither! Well, maybe fools, but definitely not heroes. --[[User:Jerden|Jerden]] 21:06, 23 June 2013 (BST)


  
Some irritant keeps spraying over the High Lord's barricade notifications with obscene profanities such as "Jerden is a fool" and "No more Jerden." We want them to stop doing it, so tell us who they are, anyone with information! Or even better, kill them for us! There will be rewards! Perhaps a knighthood, or a earldom, or some other meaningless but prestige-granting title! --[[User:Jerden|Jerden]] 18:20, 30 March 2013 (UTC)

Oh yes, and another person (or possibly the same person) is spraying insulting graffiti about the benevolent presence that is Anja Arnheim. Stuff completely tasteless and profane that it's not even funny. Their name, location, and ideally their head would also be liked (just so we're clear, that's the graffitiers head, NOT Anja's). We could stick it on a spike, and watch their zombie try and climb up and get it or something! --[[User:Jerden|Jerden]] 18:29, 30 March 2013 (UTC)


Behold, Anja's master-piece, which JRC intend to promote via propaganda all across Crowbank. Once we find the Spraycans, of course:

{{BarricadePlan{{{1|Large}}}
|x=7|y=6

| name00=Wasteland 70,60 | alt00=wasteland
| name10=Lindsey Square
| name20=the Blocksidge Building | cade20=VSB | type20=NT
| name30=the Burfield Motel | cade30=VSB | type30=Generic
| name40=The Curtice Building (Crowbank) | alt40=the Curtice Building | cade40=VSB | type40=Generic
| name50=Scallon Lane
| name60=the Leggetter Motel | cade60=VSB | type60=Generic
| name70=Carpark 77,60 | alt70=a carpark
| name80=Dinwoodie Auto Repair | cade80=VSB | type80=ARS
| name90=Peter General Hospital (Crowbank) | alt90=Peter General Hospital | cade90=EHB | type90=Hospital

| name01=the Grinham Building | cade01=VSB | type01=Generic
| name11=Factory 71,61 | alt11=a factory | cade11=VSB | type11=Factory
| name21=Whitesides Bank | cade21=EHB | type21=Generic | text21=Dark
| name31=Willington Plaza
| name41=Hepplethwaite Place School | cade41=EHB | type41=Generic
| name51=Dane Street Police Department | cade51=VSB | type51=PD
| name61=Pullinger Auto Repair (Crowbank) | alt61=Pullinger Auto Repair | cade61=EHB | type61=ARS
| name71=Morrell Bank | cade71=VSB | type71=Generic | text71=Dark
| name81=Court Street
| name91=Rillie Cinema | cade91=EHB | type91=Generic | text91=Dark

| name02=Club Head | cade02=EHB | type02=Generic | text02=Dark
| name12=Willshire Boulevard
| name22=St. Gregory's Hospital | cade22=VSB | type22=Hospital
| name32=the Nott Museum | cade32=EHB | type32=Generic
| name42=St. Lorenzo's Church (Crowbank) | alt42=St. Lorenzo's Church | cade42=EHB | type42=Generic
| name52=Stickling Park
| name62=Burt Square Police Department | cade62=EHB | type62=PD
| name72=the Elsbury Arms | cade72=EHB | type72=Generic
| name82=the Rishton Building | cade82=VSB | type82=Generic
| name92=Birkbeck Alley

| name03=St. Emelia's Church (Crowbank) | alt03=St. Emelia's Church | cade03=VSB | type03=Generic
| name13=Harewood Park
| name23=Gear Alley | text23=RP
| name33=Wootton Square (Crowbank) | alt33=Wootton Square
| name43=Club Dowdall | cade43=VSB | type43=Generic | text43=Dark
| name53=Nickols Drive
| name63=the Mydleham Building | cade63=VSB | type63=NT
| name73=Plummer Avenue | text73=RP
| name83=Bruton Lane 
| name93=Vautier Place School | cade93=VSB | type93=Generic

| name04=Gajewski Boulevard Railway Station | cade04=VSB | type04=Generic
| name14=Beer Place School (Crowbank) | alt14=Beer Place School | cade14=EHB | type14=Generic
| name24=Kening Walk
| name34=Blight Park (Crowbank)
| name44=Templar Place | text44=RP
| name54=Whitehorn Grove
| name64=Exon Alley Railway Station | cade64=EHB | type64=Generic | text64=MPM
| name74=Brely Avenue
| name84=Billings Way
| name94=the Beville Hotel | cade94=VSB | type94=Generic

| name05=Wine Street
| name15=the Lathom Building | cade15=VSB | type15=Generic
| name25=the Lawley Motel | cade25=EHB | type25=Generic
| name35=the Spragge Building | cade35=EHB | type35=NT
| name45=Gerrish Square Fire Station | cade45=VSB | type45=Generic
| name55=Pearse Grove
| name65=Kerby Street
| name75=Commins Bank | cade75=EHB | type75=Generic | text75=Dark
| name85=the Toop Motel | cade85=VSB | type85=Generic
| name95=Billett Way

| name06=St. Eugene's Church (Crowbank) | alt06=St. Eugene's Church | cade06=VSB | type06=Generic
| name16=Style Towers | cade16=EHB | type16=Generic
| name26=St. Piran's Church (Crowbank) | alt26=St. Piran's Church | cade26=EHB | type26=Generic
| name36=Reay Park
| name46=Club Ainslie | cade46=VSB | type46=Generic | text46=Dark
| name56=Lavour Row
| name66=Shore Grove | text66=RP
| name76=Clinch Way Police Department | cade76=VSB | type76=PD
| name86=Farbrother Cinema | cade86=EHB | type86=Generic | text86=Dark
| name96=the Meade Museum | cade96=VSB | type96=Generic

| name07=Club Ravenhill | cade07=EHB | type07=Generic | text07=Dark
| name17=Frauley Row
| name27=Hely Avenue
| name37=Cemetery 73,67 | alt37=a cemetery | text37=RP
| name47=Manaton Way
| name57=Pennecard Park
| name67=Wasteland 76,67 | alt67=wasteland
| name77=the Mahon Building | cade77=VSB | type77=Generic
| name87=Brogan Boulevard School | cade87=VSB | type87=Generic
| name97=Huttenbach Drive (Crowbank) | alt97=Huttenbach Drive

| name08=Curdel Street
| name18=Floyde Walk
| name28=MacLaverty Road
| name38=Gayler Library | cade38=VSB | type38=Generic
| name48=St. Birinus's Church (Crowbank) | alt48=St. Birinus's Church | cade48=VSB | type48=Generic
| name58=Blockwood Auto Repair (Crowbank) | alt58=Blockwood Auto Repair | cade58=VSB | type58=ARS
| name68=the Doubting Building | cade68=VSB | type68=NT
| name78=Rankin Grove
| name88=Carpark 78,68 | alt88=a carpark
| name98=Brickenden Park

| name09=the Horwill Hotel | cade09=VSB | type09=Generic
| name19=Peryer Auto Repair | cade19=VSB | type19=ARS
| name29=Chambers Alley
| name39=Anstee Towers | cade39=EHB | type39=Generic
| name49=Waish Plaza
| name59=Hitchfield Alley
| name69=Carpark 76,69 | alt69=a carpark
| name79=Junkyard 77,69 | alt79=a junkyard | cade79=EHB | type79=Generic
| name89=the Crape Building | cade89=EHB | type89=Generic
| name99=Spinney Alley Fire Station | cade99=VSB | type99=Generic

}}  --[[User:Jerden|Jerden]] 19:35, 17 February 2013 (UTC)

In order to support this, Jerden gave this rousing speech from Burt street Police department on 26.16 MHz:

 "Crowbank! Anyone else who is listening! This is the voice..."
 "Of Jerden, High Lord of Crowbank! I have a message." 
 "Crowbank has a barricade plan. I support it. So should you." 
 "http://wiki.urbandead.com/index.php/PGG_Restoration_Program"
 "It is irrelevant whether you support JRC's dictatocracy." 
 "This is the People's Barricade Plan!"
 "So next time you're spraying over my propaganda, damn kids,"
 "stupid vandals, KEEP THE PART ABOUT THE BARRICADE LEVEL!"
 "Else we all perish in an overly barricaded wasteland!"
 "Lots of love, your benevolent dictator. Jerden has spoken."
 "Okay, I also shouted a bit. For your own good! Bye Bye now!" 
--[[User:Jerden|Jerden]] 12:12, 9 March 2013 (UTC)




'''PEACE IN OUR TIME'''

Peace has been declared between TSI and JRC, we now return our attention to Crowbank, a strategy for reclaiming and rebuilding Crowbank is under reviewment and we expect to be able to publish it on this page by the 16th of february.
--[[User:Leiter|Leiter]] 09:36, 14 February 2013 (UTC)



|[[Talk:Jerden Rules Crowbank#TSI vs JRC (Vinetown Wanderers vs Crowbank F.C.)|The Vinetown Wanderers vs Crowbank F.C.]]

JRC was playing against TSI from late 2012 until the 14th of February, but eventually we decided that it was getting dull and so the final whistle was blown at '''TSI:23 JRC:18'''. Not bad, but not too good, but then there's no shame in losing. Plus we learned a lot. Now, we're going to get back to taking over CROWBANK! MWAH HA HA HA HAH! 


Past: Jerden and Leiter participated in Order 66. The link explains it better than we can.

{{SoNinvite‎}}

Jerden took out [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=987551 GoingMad], RaiiaN, [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=429155 Scumbag Steve] and three members of the [[Knights Templar]] (Jerden forgot to record them all, he blames his poor memory). 

Leiter killed [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1786645 Spartan91] and Marco Ferreira.

Lines:

Jerden - "The Sith of November strike again! You've already lost, but loose again anyway! Order 66!"

Leiter - "Remember remember the failure of november" - *You painted the walls with a red substance coming from Spartan91's brains.* 

Jerden - "I give in to my anger and embrace the Dark Side. Probably too often. ORDER 66!" 

Yep, it was a violent event. Although we did get killed a lot.