View source for User:Mallrat/Hermann Munster

== Munster Wins an MMA ==

{{MaltiesElevenWin|Hermann Munster}}

Well I never! Final proof that Urban Dead is dead. Nonetheless, I will enjoy my fifteen minutes of fame (whaddaya mean, they're already over?).

== Cliche by Name, Filthy Rotter by Nature ==

[[Image:Smoky_munster.jpg‎|240px|frame|right|Smokin' hot Hermann]]

Hermann Munster accepts his fate as a walking cliche, or more accurately, a shambling one. Cursed with a flat head, a limited imagination and a cranium full with the rotten, pus-ridden stump of a ''medulla oblongata'', he simply doesn't care.


== Munster Marauds Molebank ==

Munster originally haunted the dreary western edges of Malton such as [[Owsleybank]], then a ghost town (and not much better now). 

However, he soon got sucked into bad company and took part in a successful campaign to ''Paint [[Molebank]] Red''.  Fascinated by Molebank's ubiquitous ''poop'' graffiti and engorged on living brains, Munster followed this impromptu touring horde on trips to the Malton [[City Zoo]] in [[Ketchelbank]], where he ate numerous rare species and a few of [[The Malton Zookeepers]]. By this time he was already a confirmed [[rotter]] and took pleasure in the futile attempts to revive him.

== Munster Migrates ==

The as-yet anonymous horde took a right turn and ultimately wound up in [[Gulsonside]], where it took on the task of cracking [[Blesley Mall]] before the 2009 edition of the [[Mall Tour]] showed up. 

Around this time the horde took the name [[Clubbed to Death]], alluding to its mall-siege strategy of seizing clubs and other dark buildings as safe havens (and banging nitespots) from which to assault the eardrums and brainpans of the hapless breathers in their brightly lit safehouses.

After repeated break-ins and mass infections, Blesley succumbed when the nightly screams of its pathetic occupants attracted enough ferals for the mall to be utterly overrun. Mall Tour 09 skipped Blesley as a result. 

[[Clubbed to Death]] has been in the area ever since, with one brief sojourn in [[West Grayside]] to poke fun at [[Pole Mall Security]] and play a few club nights at [[Clapton Stadium]] during May-June of 2009.

== Munster Gets Married ==
[[Image:Yvonne2.jpg‎||80px|frame|left|Many women have tried to win Hermann's heart, or simply rip it from his chest.]]

Don't be stupid. Munster may be a rotten, brain-dead meat puppet but he knows better than to accept such a wretched fate.

Nonetheless, Hermann has had a string of girlfriends, and admits to being unsure whether he prefers "a woman with brains" or "a woman with a delicious body". He's still trying to get to the heart of the matter, and is happy to pick the brains of anyone who enjoys such cerebral discussions.

== Munster: Malton's Monster Model ==

Hermann Munster has always been fashion-forward, and was among the first in town to adopt the retro look, complete with Dutch bicycle and clerical garb. 

During his trip to Clapton Stadium he has shed his cassock and adopted the red-and-white colours of South Malton's favourite team. Given the physical nature of Munster's duties, he matches the scarf with a practical set of red overalls, although the original red is now merging with the blood and brain tissue of various brief acquaintances.

== The Munster Mash ==

As a member of [[Clubbed to Death]], Hermann enjoys a bit of karaoke, and can sometimes be found spinning the wheels of steel in his DJing sessions at clubs around the CtD 'Salty Zone of Death' such as [[Club Wadman]], [[Club Simpson]], [[Club Adam]] and [[Club Single]].

[[Image:Hermanheadphones.jpg‎||120px|frame|right|140 deadbeats per minute]]

== Munster Mottoes ==
{{10K}} 

{{flagbox|black|homer-simpson-brain.jpg|Rotten|Hermann is rotten to the core.}}

{{Anti-Trench|Hermann}}

{{Banana|Hermann}}

{{BloodSmearSupporter|Hermann}}

{{BrainRot|Hermann}}

{{Grab Zamm Azz}}

{{HammerTime|MC Munster}}

{{Headshot|Hermann}}

{{Hoard|Hermann}}

{{WorldCup}}

{{Weapon of Choice|his/her=his|weapon=infectious halitosis}}

{{SiegeDefense|suburb=Gulsonside|location=Blesley Mall|attackers=breathers|feeling=replete}} 
{{Gnap}}
{{Salt The Land|Hermann}}

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