View source for User:P02 Samuel

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<center>{{InSovietRussia}}
{{flagbox|red|Soviet.png|Not One Step Back, Comrades!|This user thinks that the Soviet Union was awe-inspiring during WWII}}{{Zerg}}{{Flagbox|#000000|Borat-flag.jpg|Borat Approved|Wawaweewa! This user is 100% Borat Approved. High Five!}}
{{Guns}}
{{Cop}}
{{CFTPlayer}}
{{bushisanalien|user=P02 Samuel}} 
{{Codesteal}}
{{Noob}} 
{{Manbagz}}
{{Humor}}
{{male}}
{{MaltonLocated|Name=This user|Place=in The Philippines}}
{{Urban Dead}}
{{Lachryma|Name=P02 Samuel}}
{{RealAssholeSmall}}
{{Violence}}
{{Visited Buckley Mall}}
{{Visited Pole Mall}}
{{PlutoSmall}}
{{SIGPistol}}
{{Reviver}}
{{Bounty Hunter}}
{{Christian}}
{{ResistSup2}}

{{free info}}{{Real Gamer}}</center>

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Hello. You found my userpage. Want a [http://kevan.org/brain.cgi?p02%20samuel medal]? 

My apologies in advance if the alts' pages are incomplete. I will try to complete them. EVENTUALLY.

{{Q|"Wiki stealing is a sport. And it's best to steal from the stealers!"|Oscar Wilde|Stealing Wiki Code.}}

{{Q|"POLECAT!"|Oscar Wilde|P02 Samuel.}}

== Welcome to my page! == 

You stumble upon the wiki of a [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=724526 civilian policeman,] who is currently based in [[Wyke Hills]], in [[St. Celestine's Church]]. There is a note on his cassock. "self-proclaimed pastor of St. Celestine's"

== In real life... ==

- A Filipino

- Just a mere college student

- A Christian

- [[User:Lachryma|Russians]] rock. I mean seriously.

== Back Story ==

It seemed only like yesterday that he left the Philippines (he's mad at the corruption back home) to join the fray. He has killed his share of zombies, and is usually found in [[Wyke Hills]], [[West Grayside]] or any of its nearby suburbs. He believes that [[Church of the Resurrection|ZOMBIES ARE EVIL]] and that it is his duty to kill them, if only to guard his Church. 

A note. P02 is a Philippine police rank. It has the equivalent rank of Police Sergeant in the MPD. 
*Why I did not join the MPD is because I have other work to do. This including my church work in St. Celestines.* {{User:P02 Samuel/sig}} 14:50, 22 August 2007 (BST)

If the CoTR try to get into my church, I'M READY! [[User:P02 Samuel|P02 Samuel]] 12:35, 13 August 2007 (BST)

Is it me or is [[DORIS]] run like Jonestown? They even have the same flag!

GRAB MAH MANBAGZ, ZAMBAHZ!
== Equipment == 

- Sig Sauer pistol (to shoot anyone unworthy of his attention) <br>
- 10-gauge shotgun (to blow the zombies away) <br>
- First Aid Kits (never know who needs them) <br>
- Bible (He took it from the church)<br>
- A Brief History of St. Celestine's Church (a book, some of its contents can be found in the page for [[St. Celestine's Church (Wyke Hills)]])<br>
- Knife (perfect for knife kills)<br>
- Radio (to be informed on latest news)<br>

== How would you recognize him? ==

He would be wearing a police uniform, spraypainted at the back of the jacket with the initials of the people who mean a great deal to him. S.C. , R.U., M. de M., M.G.D., J.C. etc.

Most likely he will be also wearing a cassock over it, to show that he indeed is a deacon.

== Where is he now? ==
He is at either of two places: Duty with the Polecats at Pole Mall or resting at St. Celestine's in Wyke Hills.


== Affiliations ==

He used to be a member of [[Fofst|FOFST]]. He resigned due to the stresses of the job. Subsequently, the group died out. Right now he is <del>a freelancer</del> with [[The_Polecats|the Polecats]]. He says it's to get free passes to Pole Mall. 

Hey, they just made him chaplain!

==His missions:==

Kill Constance Absolution.

Kill zombies.

Protect his church.

Kill Constance Absolution again if he gets revived.

Make sure no "Church" of the Resurrection gets into his church.

Protect Pole and Buckley Malls. But not both at the same time.

==P02 Samuel's Urban Dead Creed==

I believe in Jesus Christ, not Zombie Jesus. 

'''Zombie Jesus is a fraud. Hear me?''' 

'''ZOMBIE JESUS IS A FRAUD WHO WILL GO TO HELL!''' 

I believe in the Sacred Ground Policy, the holy Maltonite church, 

the communion of saints (free wine at st. celestine's!), 

the forgiveness of sins (as long as you dont PK), 

the resurrection of the body (through Revivication), 

and life everlasting (as long as you aint infected.). 

Amen!

== St. Celestine's High Communion ==
<blockquote style="background: white; border: 1px solid black; padding: 1em;">
In kiZombie:
 
:Brazzaz, zazzaz -- HARRMANZ! 
:mah bargar rabrazzant G-zaz raaar Gargazz 
:...zambah nah barg G-zaz raaar Gargazz!
:mah b!r rabrazzant G-Zaz raaar Braag!
:...zambah nah abzarb G-Zaz raaar braag ahn zah grahzz!
:Aman! 

:G-zaz nah amarh zambahz – 
:G-zaz amarh harmanz! 
:G-zaz gab braag -- to harmanz, nah zambahz! 
:G-zaz am Rahzrrragz-an! Nah Zambah G-Zaz, Raaaar G-Zaz!
:Mrh Man !z zah Rah-Bahbarrr!
:Aman, harmanz, aman.  

In English:

:Brothers, sisters -- HUMANS!
:This bread (lit. burger) I hold represents the Original (lit. Real) Flesh... 
:...which Jesus sacrificed for us and no zombie can ever hope to eat! 
:This wine (lit. beer) I hold represents the Original Blood spilled on the cross... 
:...which spilled out of Jesus on the cross and which no zombie can ever hope to drink!  
:Amen!


:Jesus doesn't love (lit. Amor) zombies -- 
:Jesus loves HUMANS! 
:Jesus gave his Blood -- to HUMANS, not zombies! 
:Jesus is the Resurrection! Not Zombie Jesus, Real Jesus!
:NecroTech is the Revival! 
:Amen, fellow humans, amen.

</blockquote>

''(adapted from the CoTR sermon 
[[Church of the Resurrection/Sermons#Zahng_Mahrgz_.28St_Mark.27s_Cathedral.29|here]] and mercilessly parodied.)''<br>

==Sam's View on PKing==
PKers 

I am singing to you<br>
Soft as a man with a dead child speaks;<br>
Hard as a man in handcuffs,<br>
Held where he cannot move:<br>
<br>
Under the sun<br>
Are sixteen million men,<br>
Chosen for high levels,<br>
Sharp eyes, good guns,<br>
And a running of young warm blood in their wrists. <br>
<br>
And a red rum runs on the green grass;<br>
And a red rum soaks the dark soil.<br>
And the sixteen million are PKing. . . and PKing<br>
and PKing.<br>
<br>
I never forget them day or night:<br>
They shoot on my head for memory of them;<br>
They pound on my doorstep and I cry back to them,<br>
To their mobs and infections, healing and revival!<br>
<br>
I wake in the night and smell the trenchcoats,<br>
And hear the low stir of shamblers in lines<br>
Sixteen million shamblers and zombies' spies in the dark:<br>
Some of them long shamblers for always,<br>
<br>
Some of them tumbling to sleep tomorrow for always,<br>
Fixed in the drag of the world's heartbreak,<br>
Eating and drinking, toiling. . . on a long job of PKing.<br>
Sixteen million men. <br>
<br>
PKers, based on "Killers", a poem by Carl Sandburgh. <br>


==Oversized Templates==
<center>{{PK Reporting2}}{{Channel4NewsTeam}}
{{Mossad}}
{{SacredGroundPolicy}}
{{Firing_Squad|This user wishes the [[Church of the Resurrection|CoTR]] a quick death. Or undeath. If only he had headshots.}} 
{{RealAsshole}}
{{Buckley Mall|User=[[User:P02 Samuel|P02 Samuel]]|Item=mobile phone, radio transmitter and two shotguns}}{{Comrade Mario?}}
{{Red Army Choir}}
{{Waronsheep}} 
{{BanReward|Real Gamer}} 
{{TuskenRaider}}
{{Mudkipz}}
{{TMM}}
</center>

==This is how he wants to see St. Celestine's.==
{{ud|Upperbox=You are inside '''St. Celestine's Church'''. Two statues of its early pastors decorate the walls.  The building has been very heavily barricaded. 

A generator has been set up here.  It is running.
  
Somebody has spraypainted ''St. Celestine's: 100 years of Christian service. Services every Sunday at 3:00 PM'' onto a wall.

|Lowerbox=Since your last turn:
*<font color=pink>'''A zombie'''</font> takes communion. <font size=2>''(5 minutes ago)''</font>
*<font color=darkblue>'''Mickey the Idiot'''</font> revived the zombie with a NecroTech syringe. <font size=2>''(10 seconds ago)''</font> 
*<font color=black>'''El Rabioso'''</font> says ''"I repent from my zombie ways!"'' <font size=2>''(2 seconds ago)''</font>
}}

==Look guys, I have awards!==
{{FreeRat|Cap'n Silly|P02 Samuel|for no reason at all:P}}
{{FreeRat|Suicidalangel|P02 Samuel|because two rats are better than one!''' :)'''.}}
{{FreeRat|Savant 231 A|P02 Samuel|doing everything to stop [[Petition Stop Real Gamer|"Real Gamer"]]}}
{{flagbox|black|Sake_article.jpg|Magatsus gift!|Ye gave me a new companion to sit on me shoulder, yarrr! Sake for you!}}