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| {{Custom Title|Left|Pestolence: Chase me, ladies, I'm the cavalry.}}
| | A [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1338417 remnant] of [[SFHNAS|something greater]]. |
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| {{User:Pestolence/Navigation}}
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| ''Mistah Kurtz - he daid.''
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| <br>
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| {|align="right" style="border:#000000 2px solid; width:25%"
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| | style="padding:5px; background-color:Khaki" |
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| ===Nearly Empty Sidebar===
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| Here's a sidebar, where templates and other crap like that go. It'll slowly grow as my main page does, because a long sidebar and a tiny page look really ugly together.
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| {{PointNotFound|life.}}
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| {{ZRT}}
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| {{American}}
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| {{Libertarian}}
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| {{Noob}}
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| {{No Life|action=refresh Recent Changes.}}
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| {{Soylent}}
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| {{Templates}}
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| {{Urban Dead}}
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| {{Zombish}}
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| {{Zombie}}
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| |}
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| ====Wiki Stuff====
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| I'm a new member of the wiki; as such, there is not too much of anything on my user page yet. On the wiki, I vote and comment on [[Suggestions]] and [[Developing Suggestions]], and have begun to try to help with upkeep by fixing redirects and putting a couple pages up for deletion. I try to help out other newbies with reminders to sign posts, helpful links, etc. I am pretty competent at coding due to long experience on [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page Wikipedia], but I am still learning.
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| ====History==== | |
| I came to Urban Dead in April of 2008, as a result of that brain-eating viral on a friend's myspace page. When I first started the game, I probably set a record for most characters started, then abandoned two days later. After going through about 10 names, I finally picked one and started as a firefighter in the southwest. I moved that character up to [[Paynterton]] and [[Starlingtown]], and joined the [[South Paynterton Aces]]. In this process, I created [[User:Pestolence/Thenightonfire|The Night on Fire]], a PKer alt, and he joined the [[Columbine Kids]]. After retiring my Ace, and rolling with the Columbine Kids for a while, I created a new firefighter, [[User:Pestolence/Pestolence|Pestolence]], who eventually window dived and became a career zombie with the [[Feral Undead]]. My now freelance PKer and my zombie are the only characters I play regularly now. If you want to know more about me or my characters, you can click on the links in the navigator at the top of my page. --{{User:Pestolence/Sig}}
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| ====About Me====
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| I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
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| I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
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| Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
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| I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.
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| I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
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| I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a Mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
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| But I have not yet gone to college.
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