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For Walter Krenshaw
You may not remember me, but I certainly remember you. I still remember it like it was yesterday. You were standing in the Children's Section of Nation Library, holding a book called "Lord Fancy Pants" by Debbie Pakzaban. It was there, that we locked eyes for the first time. I noticed the strangeness about you. Of course I have to call it strangeness, as what else would you call a grown adult man with no pants on, standing in the children's section of a library!? At least you had a ballgown on. It was a horrendous mustard yellow, but you somehow made it work. The goose mask, slightly sitting on the top of your head, a tin crown above it. The clear rain coat had looked slightly bloody, and the green slippers definitely ruined.
There was everything wrong about you, but something so right. I could feel it in my bones. They used to say that if you picked on someone, it meant you liked them. I've picked on a lot of people in Malton, but never could I find "the one". That was until I met you. At first, it didn't seem like it was much of a spark there, except for the ones that ignited my pistols. Something about the way you fell, with a thunderous thud to the floor, it just felt different.
Over the years, it was always you, and your death at my hands that just seemed to stand out in my mind. Now, here we are. 7 wonderful years later. Call it Fate. Call it Destiny. Call it whatever you'd like. I'm going with Destiny, as that was the name of the last stripper who gave me a lap dance, but that's neither here nor there. Also, it's not considered cheating, as there was never any commitment to our "relationship", but here we are. Like a finding a needle in a hay stack with a magnet.
My pistols feel drawn to you, and I am alright with that feeling. No matter how much others try to keep us apart (I'm looking at you Sassie), I will always find you! While you may be a strange man without pants, I am insane! It's like a match made in Malton! Or rather Nation Library!
Now that we have done our dance, I look forward to seeing you again, in another 7 years!
And I'd like to apologize for my lack of promptness. While I did finish 35 seconds earlier 7 years ago, it does happen to the best of us. 1 out of 7 men suffer from coming too early. I'll be sure to work on my stamina over the next 7 years.
 sleepwalking
 enjoying a pre-outbreak show
**Notice lack of pants**
"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction."
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