St. Ethelbert's Church (West Boundwood)

(32,5) (bic) (statuses) (update) St. Ethelbert's Church VSB, dark. AndyMatthews (talk) 01:28, 12 October 2024 (UTC)

St. Ethelbert's Church West Boundwood [32,5] Liminton Plaza the Badman Building Neot General Hospital Cowen Road Fire Station St. Ethelbert's Church the Pearl Arms wasteland Wilsdon Row Bowdage Auto Repair Basic Info: Churches contain crucifixes, wine, and first aid kits, though hospitals are far better for that last item. Churches have no internal descriptions. Church doors do not close but can be barricaded shut.

Better known as the Crabapple Family Chapel. Anglican High Church worship performed regularly, at least in theory.

The History of St. Ethelbert Crabapple

St. Ethelbert Crabapple was the Archbishop of Baden Baden Baden Baden Baden, otherwise known as a small corner of a larger corner of a reasonably big corner of a town of a district of Germany.

Having lived a dissolute youth as a particularly dissolute member of the aristocracy in renaissance England, he was banished from the country as a result of various unhealthy acts which will not be described here in detail, but according to a popular folk song involve "ye turnips and ye Bustie matrons". Escaping the Kings justice, he fled to join relatives on the Continent in a rowing boat. Whilst on the boat, he received a strikingly vivid divine vision (or so the stories tell), commanding him to give up his dissolute, depraved life, and become a Priest. When he recovered from his reverie, he found himself in Germany, having rowed unconsciously across the whole of France, landing in a Biergarten in Baden Baden Baden Baden Baden.

He is celebrated as a patron of the arts, and of the medicinal developments undertaken in various monasteries throughout Europe. Beautified following the celebrated "Holy Beer" incident, in which, during a particularly devastating time during the black plague, St. Ethelbert converted the waters of the Baggersee into beer, for comfort of the poor dying peasants.

There is a poem about it. And a concept album.

Interestingly, there has been much theological debate regarding the validity of St. Ethelberts sainthood. It is alleged that he never gave up his previous debauched lifestyle, that the tale of his miraculous journey conveniently omits references to a well equipped sea-faring vessel provided by German relatives, and that the Bagasee miracle similarly omits reference to the simultaneous flooding of his capacious personal brewery...

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