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= Malton Observer: December 7th, 2008 =
= Malton Observer: December 23rd, 2008 =


The Malton Observer would like to thank its sponsors:  
The Malton Observer would like to thank its sponsors:  
*'''Yo' Mamma''' - ''A very intelligent and kind woman.''
*'''Santa''' - ''Because we want on the Nice List.''


{|border="1"
{|border="1"
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|[[#News at a Glance|News at a Glance]]
|[[#News at a Glance|News at a Glance]]
|-
|-
|[[#RG Cuts Ties to DEMON|The end to all DEMON complaints forever!]]
|[[#Do we Know it's Christmas?|Christmas time is here?]]
|-
|[[#Malton: Not Safe|We are all gonna die!]]
|-
|-
|[[#Quis Custodiet: The Watchman's Journal|A bounty hunter shares his thoughts.]]
|[[#Quis Custodiet: The Watchman's Journal|A bounty hunter shares his thoughts.]]
|-
|-
|[[#Memories of an MCDU Veteran|The first installment of a new MO series!]]
|[[#Memories of an MCDU Veteran|Part 2 of a veteran's memoirs]]
|-
|-
|[[#Whatever That Means!|Whatever That Means!]]
|[[#Whatever That Means!|Whatever That Means!]]
|-
|-
|[[#Fun Corner|Fun Corner]]
|[[#Classified|Classified]]
|-
|[[#Happy Holidays|Happy Holidays]]
|}
|}


== News at a Glance ==
== News at a Glance ==
*'''The Malton Observer's editor reappears!''' - Few notice.
*'''Zombie Jesus to Celebrate Birthday''' - Party attendees will be serve a small piece of dried brain and a sip of blood.
*'''Malton Uprising Dissolves''' - The MU dissolves exactly one month after people stop caring.
*'''MCM Hosts [[Malton College of Medicine/Winter Games|Winter Games]]''' - Dozens are injured; cookies are served.
*'''Blanemcc Declares War on War''' - Thousands of survivors' heads explode.
*'''MrGomez of [[The Burchell Arms Regulars|BAR]] Apologizes''' - Group hug!
*'''Malton Turns Red''' - We are all gonna die!
*'''Malton Turns Green''' - We are all gonna live!
*'''No One Remembered the Fifth of November''' - Attempt to reclaim the Blackmore Building an abysmal failure.
*'''Christmas is Coming''' - Malton's malls are safer than any mall in the US during month of December according to recent data.
*'''My Milkshake Brings all the Boys to the Yard''' - And they're like, it's better than yours.
*'''Two DEM Officers Announce Retirements''' - Best of luck to Smokey One and doberman guy!
*'''DEM and Bounty Hunters on [http://z14.invisionfree.com/Brainstock/index.php?showtopic=10854 Notice]''' - The CGR doesn't like us!
*'''Happy X-Mas''' - From the MO staff.
*'''The Imperium Embarks on a Crusade''' - <s>Muslims</s> Zombies, beware!
 
==RG Cuts Ties to DEMON==
In a stirring press release on the 18<sup>th</sup> of November, non-DEM admin Ashate stated, "And with the triumphant return of my fine motor skills, the RG-DEMON link has been cut per previous discussion," formally cutting all ties between the DEM and [[Rouges Gallery]], ending all criticisms of DEMON forever. Ashate's announcement was met with jubilant celebration in the streets of Malton as a portion of the survivors who had complained about the IMP satellite network's recording the name and location of known murderers in the RG database, as well as on the DEMON database. As many readers may already know, DEMON is a useful tool available to DEM member groups and partners that allows for the storage of scouting information in a single visual database, a task made easier by the IMP tool. Before this stirring development, Members of DEM groups using IMP would be reporting the locations of known killers to the Rouges Gallery (in addition to important barricade information and zombie numbers) as they went about their daily routines. After distancing themselves from the DEM for some time, the RG mods finally severed this link to make it clear that the Rouges Gallery is completely separate from the DEM, a fact that has caused much confusion amongst survivors in the past.


Less than two weeks after Ashate issued this statement, Headless Gunner of the [[Creedy Guerrilla Raiders]], a group that periodically changes the oppressors against whom they rebel, publicly declared that the CGR has developed "several innovative technological programs" that "have been implemented" to help their efforts to kill Bounty Hunters and members of DEM groups. Karloth Vois, the leader and frequent target of the quirky group of killers known as [[Red Rum]], raised a concerning question: "Would this "Technological innovation" be... a scouter, perchaps?" Evidently, the CGR has developed a scouting tool to help them more easily kill DEM cadets just as DEMON's ties to the RG are cut, and murderers suck at keeping secrets. Does the DEM have anything to worry about? Probably not.
==Do we Know it's Christmas?==
After settling down to a large bottle of whiskey found in the discount booze section of Tompson Mall, I got into a conversation with a few residents. We exchanged pleasantries and whatnot as we all settled in and got drunk. A few bottles of whiskey and more than a few shots of Tequila later, I - for some reason - brought up the fact that Christmas day is only two days away. In response, my drinking companions all stared at me and hiccuped in unison:


--'''William Told'''
"Christmas?"


==Malton: Not Safe==
I was speechless, and not just because of the shots. How can you not celebrate Christmas day, let alone not even know when it is? I got the usual "Well, we're in the middle of a fricking apocalypse here" argument, but how does that justify not spreading good will? Sure, dragging around pine trees uses up valuable time and energy, but what else would you be doing? Killing zombies? Healing fellow survivors? Please. We should all concentrate on the time of year and deck the halls with holly, even if it does attract a few... uninvited guests.
To survivors, Malton is like a beautiful woman: Sometimes a red visitor comes to town, and she turns into a crazy bitch. Naturally, I'm referring to Malton's [[suburb|danger map]], not menstrual blood. Suburbs all over Malton have fallen into ruin, and zombie hordes have celebrated this living buffet with gusto. With more than half of Malton listed as either very dangerous or deserted, many denizens of Malton have organized to help fight back against the hordes:


[[Imperium|The Imperium of Man]], led by Garviel Loken, is organizing the [[Northeastern Crusade]]. Hoping to help repair the infrastructure of the Northeast and write over-lengthy explanations of their purpose, the Northeastern Crusade launched their campaign this past November. They immediately set to work altering posters in Photoshop to support their cause and "liberating" Shearbank. The Crusade also consists of [[FOXHOUND]], the [[Umbrella Biohazard Containment Service|U.B.C.S.]], [[Death's Minions]], and the [[Umbrella Corporation]]. Trenchcoats will be supplied upon entrance into this coalition.
So this year, boys and girls, make sure you string that tinsel up, break out the Scotch, and get trashed in the name of good ol' Saint Nick!


Blanemcc of the murderous group known as the [[Browncoats]] has called for a ceasefire between PKers and bounty hunters, declaring that the [[Northern Regiment]] is being revived and the Browncoats will be aiding survivors. While bounty hunters said, "Sure," most PKers laughed in his face. Blanemcc is now definitely not a PKer. Why not join the Northeastern Crusade? Blanemcc said, "Garviel Loken has already asked that we band together, but quite frankly, he has no idea how to lead a mobile task force of various groups, and I'm pretty sure he doesn;t know anything about the guerilla warfare that survivors will have to employ while retaking the city," demonstrating that he does not know how to spell the word "guerrilla" to this reporter's great amusement.
--'''ridleysoul'''
 
Headless Gunner of the [[Creedy Guerrilla Raiders]], who do not actually raid [[Fort Creedy]], has announced that the CGR is actively working with local survivors to secure the suburb of [[Pitneybank]]. Furthermore, he declared that they will murder any bounty hunter or member of a DEM group who steps foot in the aforementioned suburb, in addition to any PKers who kill people they don't want them to kill. Headless also stated that they will continue to move outside the suburb and kill anyone they want. I repeat: '''Headless Gunner is a loony douchebag'''. The CGR has not commented on the fact that the [[Creedy Defense Force]], the CGR's principle ally in Pitneybank, is a friend and ally of the DEM. Presumably, this fact has not been considered.
 
I know Malton's been acting a little kooky over the past couple days. I know you're afraid for your life and keep finding red stains everywhere. Don't worry: You can weather this storm with a little perseverance and a lot of chocolate. Women love chocolate.
 
--'''William Told'''


==Quis Custodiet: The Watchman's Journal==
==Quis Custodiet: The Watchman's Journal==
As a bounty hunter, I've had some pretty interesting experiences on duty. I had been killed by zombies on one recent occasion, so I went to the nearest revive point. I wasn't surprised to see some PKers there (you see, I add PKers to my contacts list to make it easier to hunt them down), including one I'd claimed two bounties on.
Business has been surprisingly good despite the current state of Malton. My regular tactics are working fine and I'm killing PKers at a fairly regular basis. They're plentiful where I am and they behave as they always do. While I find they are nomadic for the most part, they don't seem to be moving around much now.


I've waited at revive points alongside PKers I've killed before, and most of them pay no attention to me; but this PKer, who I won't name in this article as a courtesy, wasn't one of them. He told me to leave the suburb and then he shot me. It wasn't the first time I was killed at a revive point, so I shrugged it off and stayed there... so he killed me 2 more times.
Naturally, they're gathering in safe suburbs, where some have made themselves so comfortable that they don't even bother changing safe houses. In fact, I found two PKers I'd killed before on two different occasions in the very same places I'd killed them in. I ended up claiming additional bounties on both because the opportunity was just too good to pass.


I had waited there for days, and I wanted to start hunting down PKers again, so then I decided I was just going to move to another revive point close by. I didn't see the PKer again, but that didnt' mean he (or one of his friends) didn't come. In fact, after I waited for a day without being revived, I found a message at the revive point. It said:
I'm very pleased with how things have been going so far, but even though I'm first and foremost a bounty hunter, I'm still a protector of law-abiding citizens of Malton. It wasn't easy for me to leave such fertile hunting grounds for a suburb in need, though. It isn't that I don't want to help people in need, but let's face it, such good bounty hunting opportunities are few and far between.


"DO NOT REVIVE ****** (id=*******) HE SMELLS"
So far, it's been a nice change of pace for me. I've been keeping in touch with a local group and helping them with restoration efforts as a gesture of goodwill. I've been repairing buildings and building barricades at a fairly consistent pace. The best part yet is, I haven't been killed by PKers for a while now, so I can feel at ease for a little while.


I had no idea who sprayed the message, but it was most likely someone I killed before. Believe it or not, I was amused by it and had a good laugh. It wasn't going to help me get a fast revive, so I decided to move to a place where people didn't care about the way I smelled. Once again, I was awaiting revivification alongside PKers, including some more I'd killed before.
The suburb is looking good. Life is gradually returning and the zombies haven't been causing as much trouble as I was expecting. Hopefully, the danger level of the suburb will go down soon, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop then. I'm going to keep on working here till the region becomes more stable. It wouldn't be right to leave when the work's only half-finished, after all.


One PKer I once killed was revived first, and I was expecting him to shoot me. It would have been no surprise if he did, seeing as how the other PKer killed me multiple times at a revive point. Before that, I've had one come up to me at a revive point just to insult me, so what were the odds something like that would happen again? Now, this is where another first occurs.
It may take some time, but this is a gesture of goodwill, so I'm seeing it through to the end. Afterwards, I might even go to other parts of Malton to help with restoration efforts, but who knows what the future holds. The PKers may be getting a break for now, but trust me: when Malton's overall condition is better, I'll be gunning for them again.
 
He said, "To make up for some of the headshots," then he revived me. I wasn't expecting that at all. I was happy to get a revive so quickly, but I never thought a career PKer I claimed a bounty on would give it to me. Well, like they say, there's a first for everything, and here are 2 experiences I've had for the first time in my bounty hunting career that are interesting to say the least.


--'''Watchman'''
--'''Watchman'''


==Memories of an MCDU Veteran==
==Memories of an MCDU Veteran==
See, when I joined the MCDU; it was in the aftermath of Caiger III. We'd lost Caiger, shacknews was marching triumphantly forward, and I was distraught. I'd heard about Caiger: how it was a great moment in our history. I suppose I wanted to be part of that legacy- Like the young men who go off to war because their fathers did I suppose in a sort of way.
It wasn't long before the horde turned it's eyes elsewhere. No one had ever breached Caiger, so if the horde was breaching the surrounding buildings it mattered little to me and little to many others, I'm sure. We didn't think beyond 3 feet in front our faces. The first time I saw the revive queues was when it began to hit me. There were easily over 200 waiting. The Necrotech building made Caiger look safe by comparison, if there was one place where the zombies made it clear that they would do more than jump off a building if revived- it was in the Nt.


Caiger was chaos during the third siege, survivors killed each other in droves, it seemed like at least 10 to 20 a day died from each other, while the zombies pounding down the cades regularly killed at least 20 or so per day.
As the siege wound on, one had to travel to Yagoton to get a revive after traveling through the desolate landscape of Eastonwood.


It was chaos, the generators were destroyed with alarming frequency- it wasn't uncommon for a genny to last 2 hours on average per day before it was destroyed and subsequently replaced.
Towards the end, it became a fruitless battle to reclaim the Latrobe building, day after day, clip after clip, and shell after shell. It seemed to go on and on as the survivor numbers seemed to slowly dwindle every day.


The Death Cult Action was what made it so hard, the zombies weren't just outside hammering away at the cades and making vulgar remarks. They were in your safehouse breaking the generators, killing the people who revived them, and broadcasting demoralizing messages constantly; they were overbarricading buildings; they were tagging messages of despair on buildings...
We were hopeless... broken... and inside I knew that a hundred little stabs at a focused, hardened, and relentless horde was meaningless.
 
When Caiger fell, I resolved to join the largest group I could: Size meant power, and without power we could never have anything like what Caiger was ever again...


--to be continued
--to be continued
Line 88: Line 79:
''A Q&A column with the Chardon siblings. Got a question? [mailto:askachardon@gmail.com askachardon@gmail.com Drop us a line!]''
''A Q&A column with the Chardon siblings. Got a question? [mailto:askachardon@gmail.com askachardon@gmail.com Drop us a line!]''


== Fun Corner ==
== Classified ==
It is the sad duty of the editor of the Malton Observer to inform the public that the two staff members in charge of the Fun Corner were eaten by bears and could not submit anything by the deadline.  
'''The DEM needs ''You''!'''
 
The DEM is looking for individuals with a strong sense of pride to volunteer for the opportunity to serve Malton as a member of the Interim Assault Team being formed now.
 
An evaluation test will be administered to all potential recruits. Upon successful completion, recruits will receive training and access to DEM resources, including advanced metagaming tools and combat manuals covering topics such as: Infiltration & Insertion; Raiding & Ground Control; Psyops, Reconnaissance; Resupply & Recovery.
 
Contact Ferrum Leo on [http://z14.invisionfree.com/Brainstock/index.php?act=idx Brainstock] to apply! All survivors may apply!
 
==Happy Holidays==
[[Image:MO Christmas copy.jpg]]
 
<nowiki>*</nowiki><sub>Main image borrowed from [http://www.thelastchristmas.com/ The Last Christmas], copyright 2006 Gerry Duggan and Brian Posehn. Buy it today!</sub>


[[Category:The Malton Observer]]
[[Category:The Malton Observer]]

Revision as of 00:21, 24 December 2008

Malton Observer: December 23rd, 2008

The Malton Observer would like to thank its sponsors:

  • Santa - Because we want on the Nice List.
News at a Glance
Christmas time is here?
A bounty hunter shares his thoughts.
Part 2 of a veteran's memoirs
Whatever That Means!
Classified
Happy Holidays

News at a Glance

  • Zombie Jesus to Celebrate Birthday - Party attendees will be serve a small piece of dried brain and a sip of blood.
  • MCM Hosts Winter Games - Dozens are injured; cookies are served.
  • MrGomez of BAR Apologizes - Group hug!
  • Malton Turns Green - We are all gonna live!
  • Christmas is Coming - Malton's malls are safer than any mall in the US during month of December according to recent data.
  • Two DEM Officers Announce Retirements - Best of luck to Smokey One and doberman guy!
  • Happy X-Mas - From the MO staff.

Do we Know it's Christmas?

After settling down to a large bottle of whiskey found in the discount booze section of Tompson Mall, I got into a conversation with a few residents. We exchanged pleasantries and whatnot as we all settled in and got drunk. A few bottles of whiskey and more than a few shots of Tequila later, I - for some reason - brought up the fact that Christmas day is only two days away. In response, my drinking companions all stared at me and hiccuped in unison:

"Christmas?"

I was speechless, and not just because of the shots. How can you not celebrate Christmas day, let alone not even know when it is? I got the usual "Well, we're in the middle of a fricking apocalypse here" argument, but how does that justify not spreading good will? Sure, dragging around pine trees uses up valuable time and energy, but what else would you be doing? Killing zombies? Healing fellow survivors? Please. We should all concentrate on the time of year and deck the halls with holly, even if it does attract a few... uninvited guests.

So this year, boys and girls, make sure you string that tinsel up, break out the Scotch, and get trashed in the name of good ol' Saint Nick!

--ridleysoul

Quis Custodiet: The Watchman's Journal

Business has been surprisingly good despite the current state of Malton. My regular tactics are working fine and I'm killing PKers at a fairly regular basis. They're plentiful where I am and they behave as they always do. While I find they are nomadic for the most part, they don't seem to be moving around much now.

Naturally, they're gathering in safe suburbs, where some have made themselves so comfortable that they don't even bother changing safe houses. In fact, I found two PKers I'd killed before on two different occasions in the very same places I'd killed them in. I ended up claiming additional bounties on both because the opportunity was just too good to pass.

I'm very pleased with how things have been going so far, but even though I'm first and foremost a bounty hunter, I'm still a protector of law-abiding citizens of Malton. It wasn't easy for me to leave such fertile hunting grounds for a suburb in need, though. It isn't that I don't want to help people in need, but let's face it, such good bounty hunting opportunities are few and far between.

So far, it's been a nice change of pace for me. I've been keeping in touch with a local group and helping them with restoration efforts as a gesture of goodwill. I've been repairing buildings and building barricades at a fairly consistent pace. The best part yet is, I haven't been killed by PKers for a while now, so I can feel at ease for a little while.

The suburb is looking good. Life is gradually returning and the zombies haven't been causing as much trouble as I was expecting. Hopefully, the danger level of the suburb will go down soon, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop then. I'm going to keep on working here till the region becomes more stable. It wouldn't be right to leave when the work's only half-finished, after all.

It may take some time, but this is a gesture of goodwill, so I'm seeing it through to the end. Afterwards, I might even go to other parts of Malton to help with restoration efforts, but who knows what the future holds. The PKers may be getting a break for now, but trust me: when Malton's overall condition is better, I'll be gunning for them again.

--Watchman

Memories of an MCDU Veteran

It wasn't long before the horde turned it's eyes elsewhere. No one had ever breached Caiger, so if the horde was breaching the surrounding buildings it mattered little to me and little to many others, I'm sure. We didn't think beyond 3 feet in front our faces. The first time I saw the revive queues was when it began to hit me. There were easily over 200 waiting. The Necrotech building made Caiger look safe by comparison, if there was one place where the zombies made it clear that they would do more than jump off a building if revived- it was in the Nt.

As the siege wound on, one had to travel to Yagoton to get a revive after traveling through the desolate landscape of Eastonwood.

Towards the end, it became a fruitless battle to reclaim the Latrobe building, day after day, clip after clip, and shell after shell. It seemed to go on and on as the survivor numbers seemed to slowly dwindle every day.

We were hopeless... broken... and inside I knew that a hundred little stabs at a focused, hardened, and relentless horde was meaningless.

When Caiger fell, I resolved to join the largest group I could: Size meant power, and without power we could never have anything like what Caiger was ever again...


--to be continued

--Ferrum Leo

Whatever That Means!

A Q&A column with the Chardon siblings. Got a question? askachardon@gmail.com Drop us a line!

Classified

The DEM needs You!

The DEM is looking for individuals with a strong sense of pride to volunteer for the opportunity to serve Malton as a member of the Interim Assault Team being formed now.

An evaluation test will be administered to all potential recruits. Upon successful completion, recruits will receive training and access to DEM resources, including advanced metagaming tools and combat manuals covering topics such as: Infiltration & Insertion; Raiding & Ground Control; Psyops, Reconnaissance; Resupply & Recovery.

Contact Ferrum Leo on Brainstock to apply! All survivors may apply!

Happy Holidays

MO Christmas copy.jpg

*Main image borrowed from The Last Christmas, copyright 2006 Gerry Duggan and Brian Posehn. Buy it today!

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