User:Mr Watt

Mr Watt: A brief interview.

Interviewer: Ivanna Threesum of the Malton Channel 5 News team

Interviewee: Mr Watt Leader of the Psychopathic group PHOBIA

IT:So Mr Watt, thank you for this opportunity to pick your brain.

MW: Truely Ivanna, it is my pleasure. Perhaps we can make the opportunity reciprical.

IT: *laughs nervously* Yes, well lets begin. When did you arrive in malton?

MW: Oh Ivanna, I've been here since the quarantine was put into effect. Though I must say that I have no recollection of anything before one oh four AM of January 26th in 2008. Strange isnt it? I mean how do you suppose that is? That I can just......Lose a whole period of my consious life like that?

It: I don't know, there are no memories at all?

MW: Of course you don't know Ivanna. How could your simple little mind grasp it if I myself can't? Let us continue with the interview. Time is fleeting and I dont wish to waste much more with this chat we're having.

IT: Of course, then lets move on to something more interesting. Why have you decided to People Kill when you could be helping survivors cope with the zombie threat?

MW: *He laughs, though his face stays eirily expressionless* We live in a world that most people dont seem to grasp the true implications of. We are nearer to gods than those puny sons of bitches that have sealed us in this city. You see, we cant die. Not really. If we get shot, or stabbed, machetted and strangled to the point that our hearts stop and our brains dont function and we seem to be in our antiquated perceptions to be dead. But, Ivanna, what happens then?

• Looks for a moment into Ivannas face

Why, we stand up. Dead? No, just on a different plain of existance, and we stay on this plain that is now called a zombie until someone comes along and sticks a needle in us and we fall back to the ground to rise again as living persons with all of the memories and faculties that we started with.

IT: Yes, I see. But that doesnt answer the question.

MW: Thats because, you dumb bitch, you were most rude in interupting me.

IT: *Shifts uncomfortably* I appologize. Please continue.

MW: As I was saying, we cannot really die anymore. But what we can do is embrace the true gift that we have been given. You see, before the outbreak if I was shot in the chest a few times I would die very soon and the most powerful experience of my life would be the last experience of my life. Not now. Now the experience can be felt over and over again. The beautiful pain and blood and screams can be recycled endlessly. do you see it?

IT: Hmm, yes. I understand what you mean, but why not help others to experience the joyful side of life? Why must it be about pain and suffering?

MW: Joy is overrated. It is a figment of the imagination. Something our subconsious has dreamed up to release a few chemicals in our heads. No, joy has no real hold over us when we see past the self induced ruse of it. Physical and psychological torment are so much more real. think about it. If you know that a very attractive man was going to fuck you tonight and fulfill you completely sexually, but then he was going to split your stomach open with a serrated kitchen knife, which act are you going to spend more time in anticipation of?

IT: