User:Sanguinary Artiste

The Crimson Painter

Good evening. Sit down, have some... wine... Yes, of course, it's wine... Delicious red wine. It's so wonderful to see you, alive and well, with that healthy heart pumping all that exquisite blood through those arteries. You have very good veins, has anyone ever told you that? Wonderful veins for pumping all that warm, beautiful blood.

But enough of that. Let's talk. I suppose you're wondering just who the hell I think I am, going around carving people up like I do. I'm a simple painter, trying to make his way in this drab little town. There's so little demand for art in this fast-paced, murderous world. A brilliant artist like myself is hard-pressed for a creative outlet, but oh, have I found one.

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My Art

I'm doing a public service, brightening Malton with my beautiful art. I only work in one color, gorgeous sanguine red. And I don't use a brush, I use this. Gorgeous, isn't it? A lovely titanium blade and a stately mahogany handle make this axe my tool of choice. I keep it razor sharp, of course. The balance is absolutely perfect; I've never seen better. It needs to make exactly the cuts I want it to, after all. It simply won't do for me to make sloppy strikes. My public expects better of me. It's a gorgeous weapon. It can cleave your throat like a celery stick, split your skull like a rotting melon.

Oh sit down, I'm not going to use it on you.... Yet. I'm enjoying our lovely conversation. Now, there's a little something to my art. I don't just hack any random stranger to pieces. Well, I did in the old days, but nowadays, I choose my targets more carefully. I target the strong, the brave, those who are really alive. A death means nothing when your victim wasn't alive to begin with. It's worth a little extra struggle for a beautiful death.

There's truly nothing like the dance of a hemorrhaging victim thrashing around. The only music I need is the wet thwack of my axe punching into their flesh, the sick crunch of splitting bones. So many people need to slow down and enjoy the little things in life. Have you ever watched blood drip from a dead man's wounds? Watch it pool on the ground and slowly dry. It's a wonderful thing. Ah, but I'm rambling, forgive me. Are you enjoying the wine? Yes it has an unusual texture. Sort of salty. I love it.

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In my Defense

Have you been a victim of my art? Do you demand satisfaction? An apology? How do you think I feel? I make you into a gorgeous painting and you get all huffy. Unacceptable. Do I ask anything of you? Do I demand thanks, or payment, or much-needed publicity? No. I do it as a service to you good people, and in return, I'm villainized. Yet, I carry on.

Think about it this way. My artwork is beautiful, rich, and thought-provoking. Could you have hoped to be any of those things without my help? You're welcome. In a way, murdering you raises your value to a point you never would have seen without my assistance. Of course, I'm speaking hypothetically, you're my guest. I would never be so inhospitable as to attack you in my home. How vulgar that would be.

If you are absolutely insatiable in your ingratitude, seek me out. By way of apology, I'll make you into a beautiful painting again and again out of the goodness of my heart. And if you can, please paint with my blood. I've been a painting before. It was an exquisite experience. Don't worry, I'll be happy to return the favor.

Now, I'm feeling rather sporting today, so I'll give you a head start. Once you get out my door, I shall give you a full five minutes before I pursue you. I shall finish my wine, and the chase shall be on. When I catch you, I will make you a masterpiece! What? Of course there's another option. You could ask me to take you back to the parlor and we could work there. How does that sound?

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My Gallery

These are my lovely pieces. I have killed quite a few more than this, but this is what I publicly claim credit for. 1: Lord Evans[1] 2: Chad Hussey[2]

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‎	Player Killer
	"One kills a man, one is an assassin; one kills millions, one is a conqueror; one kills everybody, one is a god." This user is a PKer and supports the act of Player Killing.

	PK Count
	This user has PKed 5 people.

	Sobriety
	Sanguinary Artiste is currently Completely Smashed

	Cry More Please
	Aaaaawww… Does someone need a hug? What about a blankie?

	Artifact Protection Policy Supporter
	This user or group supports the Artifact Protection Policy, acknowledging that the looting of museums is strictly prohibited. This user or group will do what they can to prevent museum theft in order to preserve Malton's cultural and intellectual integrity.

	Sacred Ground Policy Supporter
	This user or group supports the Sacred Ground Policy and acknowledges that all Cemeteries in the city of Malton are considered Revivification Points.

	Centers Of Learning Policy Supporter
	This user or group supports the Centers of Learning Policy & acknowledges that all libraries, schools, zoos, and museums in the city of Malton are considered safe places. No survivor in one of these locations may be killed for any reason unless that survivor is a specified enemy of this user or group.

	STFU N00B
	This user recognizes the difference between a Newbie and a Noob.

	LEGALITY LOL
	Sanguinary Artiste mistakenly believes they have a working grasp of the law.

	Stupid Suggestions!
	Whenever you make a stupid Suggestion, God kills a kitten. Stop killing kittens.

	Report PKers!
	Don't let them get away with murder! Register them on the Rogues Gallery.

(please do. You'll make me famous!)

	I'm Smarter
	This user is smarter than you.