User talk:Matt Aries/History: Difference between revisions
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<center>'''This section is only for chatting only about my back story. Any issues such as continuity issues, grammar, or cheers and jeers about my writing go here. Thank you in advance.'''</center> | <center>'''This section is only for chatting only about my back story. Any issues such as continuity issues, grammar, or cheers and jeers about my writing go here. Thank you in advance.'''</center> | ||
== Chapter 1 mistakes == | |||
"Something in is just snaps." I am guessing it should say "Something in '''us''' just snaps". "For myself, their wasn't just one instance,..." should say "For myself, '''there''' wasn't just one instance,...". "The powers that be sent him here to see if he was insane, or not." not sure what you are trying to say here...maybe clear it up? "He bit and ripped out a jugular out of a twenty year veterans from Maltons Finest." I think should say "He bit and ripped out a jugular out of a twenty year '''veteran''' from '''Malton's''' Finest." "It raises moral and..." there is an "e" at the end of morale. "I must have fallen a sleep,..." should just say "asleep"...love the story so far. It has inspired my own history story. I thought I would help perfect the story and cant wait for chapter 2.--{{User:Patrick MacManus/Sig}} 23:45, 30 January 2010 (UTC) | |||
Revision as of 23:45, 30 January 2010
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Prologue * Chapter 1 * Chapter 2 * Chapter 3 * Chapter 4 * Chapter 5 * Chapter 6 |
Chapter 1 mistakes
"Something in is just snaps." I am guessing it should say "Something in us just snaps". "For myself, their wasn't just one instance,..." should say "For myself, there wasn't just one instance,...". "The powers that be sent him here to see if he was insane, or not." not sure what you are trying to say here...maybe clear it up? "He bit and ripped out a jugular out of a twenty year veterans from Maltons Finest." I think should say "He bit and ripped out a jugular out of a twenty year veteran from Malton's Finest." "It raises moral and..." there is an "e" at the end of morale. "I must have fallen a sleep,..." should just say "asleep"...love the story so far. It has inspired my own history story. I thought I would help perfect the story and cant wait for chapter 2.--Patrick MacManus talk 23:45, 30 January 2010 (UTC)
