User:Spiderzed/A Brief History of the NWO

23 February 2013: Fiat Victus

Who knows what imbecile lurks in the heart of men? The Shadow knows... NWO is found, marking the beginning of a long string of calamities and fail. It doesn't look like much, but at least Cyberopposition found the group template on the first try, so we will call it a Tie.

14 March 2013: Globetrotters Go Griefing

Globetrotters were having a ball with NWO. The Malton Globetrotters have taken it upon themselves to grief the NWO. How dreadful. Lost.

3 April 2013: NWO rises to the stats page like a dookie from the toilet bowl

Club Blackburn Penni Drive Fire Station a warehouse wasteland Barnerd Way PD Boggis Avenue wasteland a carpark Pipe Plaza Imagine: These guys' sole raison d'etre is to maintain a PD 4 blocks away from a mall. Where never a zombie is seen. And yet, they are just one member short of being as successful as NWO. And as if that wasn't bad enough, they rhyme with "bonered". Hehe. Bonered. NWO made it on the stats page. With this, they are rising to limelight, enjoying the same lofty position as such luminaries as Barnerd Way Police Department or CCPD Family. But only barely so. We will call it a Tie.

17 April 2013: The Grand Radio Scheme

Not for the tenderfooted: Handheld Radio. Support Division is being asked to tune their radios to 27.08 Mhz. 62% of them manage it, but 27% accidentally tune it instead to 27.80 Mhz, 10% drop the radio on their foot, and 1% fumble so hard with their receivers that they stab themselves an eye out. Still, a partial success is a clear Tie.

26 April 2013: The Golden Age

Depicted: The Golden Age of the NWO. NWO introduces a ranking system. It turns out to not work so well as there are 16 ranks for 11 members. However, the agitated group quickly calms down, as a medal gets produced that every member is allowed to pin on their chest: Derp Award This NWO member has been recognized for screwing something up. (It's funny now though) With the partial success, this is another Tie. Three ties in a row mark the beginning of what will later be referred to as The Golden Age of the NWO.

16 May 2013: Dulston Depression

Depicted: The Sunset of The Golden Age of the NWO, approximately 27 April 2013. NWO has established 3 Divisions that are now in Dulston, but with the suburb in disarray, the group has broken out into chaos with the arrival of Rogue Division. Rogue Division and Zombie Division has begun running rampant in Dulston after the group declared Dulstons new martial law. Dulston has fallen. Rogues Division is going to pull out of Dulston. Obviously Lost despite having nothing to fight but ruins, truly a pitiful end to The Golden Age of NWO. 19 May 2013: Those Wacky Philosophes The diplomatic delegation of the NWO greets you. The NWO guys approach the Philosophe Knights diplomatically: “ Don't feel so special philosophy knights. Get all huffy puffy and play pissed off philosophy adjuncts who beat their students. ” —CO being as charming as usual Amazingly, this ends without them getting hunted like a dog, so we will call it another Tie. 19 May 2013: Your Are No Longer Invited (Yay!) The wikizens, seconds after learning that NWO had uninvited them. In an attempt to finally one-up Bonered PD in regards of member numbers, Cyberopposition is spamming dozens of talk pages with his recruitment template. When everyone shows him the cold shoulder, he makes a gracious exit and reacts like a real gentleman loser. While we are on the subject of "loser": Lost. 11 July 2013: Blackmore Blues NWO goes to Ridleybank. NWO decides to go for something new and creative that no one else has tried before. They reclaim Blackmore NT and declare it theirs.. RRF in turn opens Blackmore NT and declares the buffet open. Lost. 15 July 2013: You Are In The Army Now Fun fact: All the NPOV facts found in The First Strike can be distilled into two panels. After the Blackmore plan worked out so well, just 4 days later NWO decided to try Fort Perryn next. After they ended up as chew toys after pretending to be survivors, they figured pretending to be PKers might yield different results. They did hit the local trenchies like little girls. The local trenchies in turn manhandled them like the same little girls. Lost. 13 August 2013: Stalled Stalking PKER HUNTING DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY!!! News Anchor Morbo's in-depth analysis of the programme. Thank you, Morbo. The Orders Stalker Program was established to weaken uncooperative PKing groups in Malton. This Program endorses players to stalk PKer groups and high profile killers. Sense [sic] PKer groups are constantly moving, this program exploits PKers inability to settle into suburbs without gaining infamy and forces organized PKing attacks to be cut short. To promote co-operation between Survivor groups, participants and their targets will be shown to the general public. The program gets shortly afterwards dismantled. Stepping in front of the press, CyberOpposition delivered his most famous speech up to this day: “ yes, the stalked program was cancelled because there was no support from other groups. ” —CO on the reasoning behind the dismantling of the programme “ You mean, I was, like, ogled by those Peeping Toms? By a whole crowd of them, like, three's a crowd? (giggles) That's cute. (winks and touches up her lips) ” —Girl-on-the-street's Sally S. (19) from G., Moonlighting Valley Girl impression of the programme when asked about it by our reporter Lost. 27 August 2013: First Victory After such a surprise victory, a celebration was in order. One with blackjack and shirtless steel workers. After all those months, CyberOpposition takes everyone by surprise by finally managing to make a constructive edit that objectively improves the wiki as a whole. WIN!