The Knockers
The Knockers | |
Abbreviation: | None. |
Group Numbers: | One Damn Doorknocker so far. |
Leadership: | Undecided. |
Goals: | The permanent opening of all doors in Borehamwood, along with the destruction of all barricades that might then impede the entry of our fellow Zombies. After that we'll probably just murder humans. |
Recruitment Policy: | The Knockers are to accept anyone with a healthy hatred of doors and an unhealthy lack of pulse. |
Contact: | The website should be up and running shortly. |
'Knocking on your Doors'
- "We knocked upon this oft closed door,
- No answer we received,
- We knocked again, much louder still,
- Our zombie souls aggrieved!
- This was the end, 'twas time to kill,
- To cloak our teeth in gore."
The Great Zombie Foe
Long have they stood against us, steadfast and passively aggressive enemies of the zombie hoard.
Through all of the outbreaks they have endured our wrath, ageless opponents lurking on the edge of our comprehension, our very notice. Plotting silently as they conspire against our best efforts, silent and embittered foes allied with the living to spite the undead. Perchance we think we hear them laughing on occasion, hoarse and croaking voices spitting foul splintery cackles as we batter uselessly against their hardened surfaces to no avail. You know this ancient foe of which I speak, those great shadowy menaces to our rampant slaughter.
DOORS!
Too long I say have they had their way! Too long have humans smirked and leered at us from behind them, lording their manual digit dexterity over the undead, delighting in their fingers' ability to surpass even the greatest of the wooden beasts.
Oh, we shall have our revenge.
It shall be a swift and violent thing, a great swirling hoard of the undead, all with the manual digit dexterity the humans so prize in their own. They shall be sitting smug in their buildings and we shall open their great defenders, their vaunted doors! And they will gasp and run and shriek, but there shall be no escape as none of the smug idiots have bothered to purchase free running yet. And then we shall swarm over them, biting and clawing, devouring brains and brandishing broken door handles, finally the masters of their doors!!!
Faction Tenets
The Knockers accept and espouse several principles and strategies upon which the faction is based:
We shall open the way:
- In this organisation we shall have a branching level of manual dexterity most likely unshared by our other fellow members of the Zombie community. It is our duty to open doors for them, to facilitate the swift removal of our hated enemy from their path. Consider that over the coming month there will rise many, many new zombies, most of whom will be unable to open doors. It makes sense to have a group of prudent individuals with sufficient digit alacrity to open the hated doors of Borehamwood. This also carries across to the removal of barricades, which also obstruct members of the Zombie Hoard from entering buildings to slaughter the humans.
- We in this group shall never close doors.
Intelligent Targeting:
- Borehamwood represents a unique showcase for the application of intelligent enemy removal. The potential for incredible damage to the human war effort is a weapon that we cannot afford to pass up. As the puny humans can no longer hide behind their life giving syringes, they can no longer bring back powerful characters. Consider the