User:Criminally Insane/Under Wraps
Projects to do:
THE GRAND CHURCH OF CRIMINALLY INSANE
| Criminally Insane Church
Spracklingbank [86, 38]
Basic Info:
|
===The Grand Church of Criminally Insane===
Doctrine
I
Criminally Insane is God.
He’s all knowing, omnipotent
and rumour has it very well endowed
II
All members of Criminally Insaneology should adhere to a omnivorous diet. Although Criminally Insane is friend with many animals on the farm as well as in the woods they’re delicious so go right ahead and devour them.
III
Participants in the Grand Church of Criminally Insane
are allowed to eat any form of plant life they want.
Criminally Insane doesn’t mind us eating plants because he’s not friends with any plants.
So fuck the plants, eat them all!
IV
You can't pray to Criminally Insane!
He lives in a cardboard box and you live in (insert misc. location on earth or space). He can’t hear you!
And even if he could he doesn’t like selfish whiners, so there’s little chance he would grant your prayer…
V
There are rumours however that Criminally Insane can be bribed with items starting with the letter G and ends with the letter Y… So if you find such an item then go ahead and try praying to him.
VI
Criminally Insane isn’t watching what you do all the time with some magical power…
So there is no need to worry about him spying on you in the shower…
…But if he’s spying on you in the shower you are a very lucky person and should be eternally grateful Criminally Insane showed any interest in you…
VII
The only way to be at peace with the world and Criminally Insane is by listening to his fabulously deranged rantings…
VIII
Criminally Insane has certain Prophets with whom he communicates directly. These people should be looked up to and followed because of the good example they set.
