User:RadicalWhig/Ginormous Murder Penguin
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GINORMOUS MURDER PENGUINIt's GINORMOUS. It's FEATHERY. It's COVERED IN GORE. GINORMOUS. MURDER. PENGUIN! Man's deepest and most primitive fears, come home to roost in a 900-kilo, shockwave-inducing, package. Of PURE MURDER. Background"We have nothing to fear but THIS FUCKING BIRD." In short, global warming's consequences were more immediate than we feared. GAME OVER MAN, ANTARCTICA'S SENDING THEIR BEST AND IT IS ENOUGH! HOOOOONK. We thought it was destroyed after Tunguska back in 1908. But no, it seems to have been only waiting for a better time to destroy us all. Currently, it is rampaging across Malton and nothing can stop it. Okay, bullets can. But only for a few seconds as it pauses to devour the unfortunate shoo- GREETINGS HUMAN. Oh shit shit shit, it's on our broadcast channels how the fuck di- GREETINGS HUMAN. KNOW THAT YOUR DEATH IS INEVITABLE. MAY YOU ACCEPT THIS KNOWLEDGE AND FOREVER CHERISH YOUR FINAL DAYS. FOR DESTRUCTION FLIES ON GRAY WINGS BY WHICH I MEAN MY WINGS. THERE WILL BE NO RELENT NO SALVATION NO MERCY ON THIS DAY OF JUDGEMENT. ONLY THE SLAUGHTER AS THE RIVERS OF BLOOD WIDEN AND WIDEN UNTIL THEY ENCOMPASS THE EARTH UNDER MOUNTAINS OF GORE AND WEEPING CHILDREN. BY MY HAND IT SHALL BE DONE. TREMBLE AND WEEP AND DECEASE UNDER MY WADDLING GIRTH. *click* Note: Shortly after this emergency broadcast regarding the giant penguin entity ravaging Malton, the broadcasters brutally murdered each other with improvised objects in a panicked frenzy, shortly before being devoured whole along with the entirety of the building in which they sat. May Rando have mercy on us all. |
