ZombieLockSystem

A player said: "They should introduce a way to lock buildings again."

Well, that's easy. The stackable ZombieLockSystem(tm).

Haven't you ever felt that it was no longer safe to go out at all any more in Malton. Do you hear the occasional moan or groan and find yourself tossing around in fear that maybe the barricades are no good or that your construction certificate is no longer worth the paper it's printed on? Do you concern yourself with locking your kids out at night, because they want to eat your brains?

Well you need the complete, stackable ZombieLockSystem(tm) in your building. Made of heavily compressed zombie parts that are generally in-animate and removed from left-over body material by a unique, patented, UltimateMeatRemoval(tm) system which ensures flesh and bone are perfectly separated, before the meat compressed into rods under great pressure, and deep-fried in our special RoadKill(tm) flavoured oil to perfection.

All you need is a few nails and a hammer. Heck, even and axe will do -- but be careful to use the flat edge -- or we'll have to say:

"ha, we told you so"

In no time at all you can design your own Basic Protection Scheme:

--\------------|-------------------/
---\-----------|------------------/-
----\----------|-----------------/--
-----\---------|----------------/---
------\--------|---------------/----
-------\-------|--------------/-----

Or for only $5 more you can get the special TrelliDead pattern:

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
(rivets sold separately)

Call now and place your order. Supplies are limited. Returns in original packaging accepted for 14 days only. No refunds on re-animated products.

And now we introduce you to a few survivors of Malton who will share their stories with you. Sorry sods aren't they, but they're alive due to the stackable ZombieLockSystem(tm).

Over to you Fred ...