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A MH&S Special Feature: So You Want to be a Harman


Editor's Note: This is Part 1 of an in-depth look into everyone's favorite Urban Dead enemy: the Survivor.

So, you think you have what it takes to be a survivor in Malton? You think just because you waltzed through No Mercy on extra-hard, mowing down Tanks and Boomers with a sawed 'off shotty that you are now some zombie-killin', axe swingin' manly God-of-war? And now you believe that you are a bad-enough dude to rescue Malton? After all, how hard could it really be?

7800 zombies? Whatever. You killed that many yesterday waiting for the chopper to pick up you, Bill and Zoey from the hospital roof. Yeah, it was hard watching the undead tear apart Zoey as she tried to go back and help Bill, but she should have known that zombie apocalypses are not about helping survivors.

Zombie apocalypses are not about being the hero. Zombie apocalypses are about mowing down legions of undead with a flamethrower, before splitting some zed's head open with a battle axe while doing a running backflip. And nowhere is this as true as it is in Urbandead.

Welcome to Malton. Welcome to Hell.

This is as real as it gets. Don't be fooled by the falling zombie numbers or the fact that harmanz currently outnumber zombies. Malton is a dangerous place, and death and decay will greet you at every corner. You will face some of the biggest, baddest hordes known to the genre. You will face morally difficult choices. At times, you may even face situations where the only thing separating you and your fellow survivors from a gruesome death is raising a barricade from Very Heavily Barricaded ++ to Ridiculously Heavily Barricaded +++.

Do you still think you have the right stuff? Then read on....

Part 1: Separating yourself from the Herd

Before we can transform you into the ultimate zed-killin' machine, we need to know a little bit more about you. Playing a survivor in Malton is not about just picking a class and a few skills. It is also about forging an identity, a glimpse into the real you that separates you from the thousands of other pretenders running around the city. You want to create something special, something unique, a character that mothers walking in the streets can point to and say "Now Billy, that is what a real survivor looks like."

Selecting a Class

Selecting a class is the first step. It is also probably the most important decision you will ever make, so do not take it lightly. Every class has its strengths and weaknesses. For example, firefighters are highly trained in axe warfare, but are limited later on to necrotech skills, advanced medical training, and advanced military combat. Likewise, military privates are highly trained in advanced military combat, but are limited later on to necrotech skills, advanced medical training, and axe warfare.

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Weigh your decision carefully.

Do you really want to be a Level 41 medic who can only revive survivors, treat the wounded, and kill anything that moves when you could have been a Level 41 cop who can only revive survivors, treat the wounded and kill anything that moves? Selecting the right class is probably the largest step you can make in your goal to have yourself standout from the thousands of other police officers, firefighters, and scientists roaming the city.

A good rule of thumb is to select whichever class you feel looks the most badass while shooting some dumb zed mrhing at a revive point.

I see you selected Private. Good choice. Man, you are going to look really badass stepping over those wounded survivors to blow away some poor zed in the street.


Creating a Backstory

With that out of the way, we can now pick a name. Again, this is an opportunity to let those other losers in Malton know that a new kid is in town, so pick something unique and meaningful to you.

Remember, you are not simply creating a character. You are making a legend.

I see you selected ZedDead54. Solid choice. Ok, the last step is to give your character a description and a backstory. Again, treat this as another opportunity to separate yourself from the herd, and to put your own unique spin and viewpoint on why ZedDead54 is different from the other 53 ZedDeads.

For example,

"On the first day of the outbreak, I came home to find my family brutally murdered by a ravaging horde. As I fought my way to the top of a mountain of undead and my lungs once again tasted fresh air, I looked across the burning city and made a vow: I would have retribution, and I would not stop until the entire city was cleansed of the undead.
Other survivors call me John. Zombies have a another name for me.
They call me War."

would be an excellent description for the compassionate, caring survivor who seeks to help out the wounded, keep other survivors safe, and rebuild the city. But this isn't you. You are not a compassionate survivor. You are a badass. Try something edgier.

Phrases like

"staring vacantly into the chasm of the human soul,"
"drifting endlessly in a sea of despair and turmoil, toward an endless chasm of hopelessness and anger, I knew one thing: Revenge would one day be mine."
"awash in hatred and anger at losing my family, only one thing now stands between me and eradicating the undead from this dark, lonely planet: finding a 50th shotgun."

are always good to work in any description. Remember to strive for uniqueness. Small details like rugged ammo belts, the mythical seventh katana, and black leather boots may seem trivial, but they will give you that extra degree of realism that other survivors will notice and respect.

Good job ZedDead54. You are now ready to face the hordes. But first, step back and admire yourself in a mirror.

Damn.

You are such a badass.

Next Issue: Part II:Battling the Hordes


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A Gore Corps Play Date with the Malton College of Medicine


by Draughr

The RRF typically tears through terrified suburbs, slaughtering disorganized mall-rats and showing trenchies who the real badasses of Malton are. On occasion, we run up against adversaries worth noticing. The Malton College of Medicine is one of them. While in Eastonwood, the Ridleybank Resistance Front met resistance from the MCM. Who the hell are these guys anyway? I dunno, I just shoot 'em and eat their cookies. They bake some damn good cookies. According to their wiki "Malton College of Medicine's primary mission is to educate new survivors about how to stay alive in a post-apocalyptic world."

During our confrontation in Eastonwood, the MCM displayed more intelligence than your average survivor group, hiding out in dark buildings instead of setting up an all you can eat buffet in the local NT. When the Gore Corps was stumbling around in dark buildings, hiding from the eyes of decent people and zambahz, we were surprised to find members of the MCM hiding right alongside us. At first it was a bit of a culture shock, and we were slightly disappointed that none of the students would join in any of our customary safe-house orgies, but we still managed to have a good time. In the words of Professor of Communications and Chief Muffin Maker QBee, “We really enjoyed chatting with the Gore Corps in surrounding buildings during the build up. You guys don't get much conversation with your dinner do you? Next time, do spend some time enjoying the cookies and blue punch...between rounds that is.”

Of course, Moloch’s influence on the Gore Corps remains, and we’re still not allowed to have that much fun. So we killed everyone. The Gore Corps did something it never does: installed a generator. The moments the lights came on, all laughing and cookie sharing stopped as the MCM saw about half a dozen shotguns pointed at their dean, Violet Begonia. Within a couple of minutes, there was no one left breathing in the room as the Gore Corps fanned out looking for more victims, having gotten a little too worked up in response to Violet’s bullet bukakke. When asked for comment on the event, the only MCM member to respond, my good friend Shank, simply said “Draugrh is literally the worst person ever.” Then I shanked him.

Only a matter of minutes and all the MCM’s leadership and many other member were lying in pools of their own blood. Within the next 24 hours, each and every one of them got a revive, showing their efficiency. Instead of sticking around and using the MCM as a never ending food source due to their speedy revives, the horde got bored after smashing the suburb and moved on. Both the RRF and MCM claimed victory. According to the MCM, that’s how things should be. As Violet said “Malton isn't a war zone, it's a huge tennis match! If you're going to have a good tennis match, you need good opponents. And even though you're on opposite sides of the net, the game is more fun when you're friendly.”