Angry Vaginas/History
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 For countless eons the beautiful pink orb of Clitheria was home to a unique form of life. Sentient estrogen that had evolved slowly into little pink nubs of fungi. They nestled snugly within the folds of pink fauna, occasionally carried through the air by cute little butterflies from flower to flower. These life forms visited each other, communicating, and engaging in productive activities. Not the least of which being The Rubbing, where two or (many) more would gather together to rub each other into ecstasy, erupting spore clouds into the air.  Over time the nubs evolved, growing larger and more complex. They developed into bipedal creatures with incredibly elastic fungoid bodies. They created a perfect society full of peace love and understanding. The world was filled with light harmony. Then it happened. The nearby planet of Mantardia were waging their ceaseless war over their repressed homosexuality when Clitheria became collateral damage from a misdirected radiation bomb. The planet began to die… The Clitherians had met with the some of the Mantardians previously. They had mingled in love and though the Mantardians were hopelessly inadequate and failed to produce any pleasure, the Clitherians took pity on them. The few Mantardians that had contact quickly gained knowledge and self-awareness for the first time in their race’s entire history. These few came to the Clitherians rescue, providing ships with which to flee their dying planet. The Mantardians, realizing their inferiority and worthlessness, jettisoned themselves into space soon after the small band of hardy Clitherians had learned how to fly the ship. It took about 5 minutes. They had traveled far, searching for a new home, when they found the small blue orb. It was an ugly color for a planet but it was better than nothing. Hovering low to the ground they suddenly came under attack from many vessels. Obviously this planet had Mantardians of its own. Aggressive idiots obsessed with their weapons and science.  The Clitherians ship was damaged and fell from the sky. They emerged from their ship to find the native inhabitants of this planet. Strange creatures of two types. One type was of Mantardian nature and the Clitherians avoided them. The other type they felt a kinship with. They fused their fungoid bodies with the new creatures, creating a hybrid of themselves and the other. The Clitherians gained knowledge from the creatures, absorbing it from their minds. In return the Clitherian’s powerful estrogen infused their new bodies, changing them. With their ability to now understand the language of this planet, they discovered that their ship had landed between two buildings. One was The Empornium Gallorium and the other was The Venus Envy Feminist Bookstore. The Clitherians absorbed all the knowledge they could from these two sources. Soon it became apparent that there was a third type of creature on this planet…strange mindless things that lived only to smash down doors and eat the others. They carried some disease and over time all of the Clitherians had been infected with it. It caused great hunger in them and they found themselves hunting and eating Mantardians. It was then that Testosterone was introduced into the Clitherians systems. It caused great rage in them and it drove the Clitherians to madness. They hunted for the Mantardians ceaselessly, craving the substance that resided in their manbagz. The more they ate, the more aggressive they became. They realized that their powerful alien estrogen had made their new bodies into paragons of earthly attractiveness. The Clitherians used all the knowledge they had gained from The Empornium Gallorium in order to further attract Mantardians to them. Always on their minds though were the ideals they had gained from The Venus Envy Feminist Bookstore. It was then that they discovered Malton Green. The only thing that could calm them and allow them to think clearly since the insidious Testosterone had infected them. They planted great gardens of the Good Herb in the ruins of their new home of Dulston, only wanting to reside peacefully in their ruins, smoking the Good Herb and being groovy. But the dreaded Mantaradians still came, trying to keep the Clitherians from the only thing that made them whole again. Now the battle rages on, the Clitherians determined to keep the evil Mantardians from destroying their only link to sanity.  |
