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Revision as of 00:45, 25 December 2008

Leighton Kru

"Coming at you, gonna cut you!"

We're back, bitches!
Leighton Town - Phatta Kru Than You - Gonna Cut You! - Mocking You!


Nobody runs the Leighton Kru, not even the Leighton Kru, you get me? We're connected mate, we know people in Luton, mate, fuukkin' LUTON mate. And Laandon mate, you cussin' me? I cut you! They cut you!

In response to the need for the Leighton Kru to cut more people on a more frequent basis, and the fact we cannot agree on who to cut and when, the Kru has been split into four combat squads who roam Malton independently slaughtering the masses. These groups and members involved (not complete) are as follows:


Bastards

Frequently seen in the North East, these are the original Leighton Kru posse in their spiritual home.

LEONARD KNEE.JPG
Leighton Kru Member: Leonard Knee
Ex-Leighton copper ain't 'e? Came over to Maltaaan for a holiday mate, heard about all the zombies and brought 'im and the boys with 'im down to Zombie taan. Hard as a rock mate, 'ard as diamond. You want some diamond mate? I'll sort you some out, mate, no worries.

Leonard models his personally designed MPD uniform
Gregg ud.jpg
Leighton Kru Member: Gregg Bayes
Fuukking nob, ain't 'e? Runnin' around, axin' this, shootin' that. Get a stabber mate, cut 'em up. Long-haired lanky poof. Hear me now!
Gregg is currently on vacation with DARIS, but will return soon!

Gregg takes a souvenir from the Ablett Arms
Mod.jpg
Leighton Kru Member: Vinyl Plate
MOD, 5 ft 10, Meduim length black hair, carrying two fully loaded shotguns under his parker. he usually spends most of his time popping blues, cruising the streets of Moulton on his Lambretta 200 listening to The Who.

The best looking guy in Moulton!
Dan.jpg
Leighton Kru Member: King Sausage
Da King of Linslade yes boi!!!!! He is a noob innit but watch out cos belly's gonna get ya! He is well tall like 10ft or sumfink like dat so he is gonna crush you. He as got bare 'mounts of bad boy guns and stabbers to cut you wiv dat he bought wiv his drug money he got from sellin' da brown in da Leighton Town.

Aha! Lunch has arrived!

Cunts

Operating in the South, the Cunts and their associates terrorise every Survivor who runs from the North East.

JOHN THUG.jpg
Leighton Kru Member: John Thug
Nutta, I tell ya, nutta. Into his footie, believe, blud, believe. Cuts up anyone not into it, fuukking ballerinas. Bouncer, ain't he? Nuts zombies to death mate, to-fuukkin'-death. Ex-SAS ain't he, blud? Runs guns mate, get you a klashnikov mate, no probs. That's pussy shit, I can get you a tank, mate.

Thug keeps his head down after taking too much crack.
Nigel.jpg
Leighton Kru Member: Nigel Laurence
Ex-SAS ex-Leighton copper schizophrenic nutta wivva pet cat called Scrinkles who Nige' thinks wants to take over the world, ain't he bruv? Leighton Kru's parole officer, ain't he? Sorts 'em out wiv crack, and they sell it to kids, Leighton's gotta make a profit in the riot, ain't it? You get me? Respect.

Nigel takes a break from shooting to indulge in one of his more relaxing pastimes.
Solo polo vision.jpg
Leighton Kru Member: Solo Polo Vision

Tall & Thin one eyed cockney freak stump fucking raggamuffin from the streets, wearing big white boots, a long black coat, top hat and one polo for an eye baught from the local co op.



Im going to Kut your head off and Fuck the Stump"

Twats

The Twats roam from place to place shooting up what they like.


NIMOID.jpg
Leighton Kru Member: Nimoid
Done so much crack he thought he was a robot, didn't he? So Leighton Kru went down the dump, grabbed a load of scrap and a welding torch, and turned into one proper, you get me? But now he can't spank the monkey, mate, chafes too much mate, so he went mad, didn't he?

What the hell is that growing out of his neck? Oh, it's his face.
Fleshy.jpg
Leighton Kru Member: Sir Fleshy
Came to Maltaaan just to get turned into a zombie mate, nuff said.

Sir Fleshy may have watched too many horror films as a young boy.

Loner Cockholsters

These Leighton Kru are too dangerous to be told where to go, who to kill and what crack to smoke, so they are left to their own devices.


Blackwane.jpg
Leighton Kru Member: Blackwane
Leighton Kru isn't just about da white boys, you get me? We need brothers to hold it down wit'. And da man, blackwane, is exactly that. Word up foo', this nigger's got an itchy trigger finger, and even itchier h0s.

Blackwane jacked all this bling earlier today!
Little derik.jpg
Leighton Kru Member: Little Derek
The brother with no mother and no lover is gonna smother!

Any pictures of Little Derek turn out as cartoons. We think it's a super power he's hiding from us.
LKM2.jpg
Leighton Kru Member: FILLigree
Wotcha guv'nor! Shine yer shoes?!? Clean yer chim-en-ee!?!? For a shiny! I'll d anyfink for a shiny guv'nor! Leighton Kru's very own cunt-eyed mockney twat.

FILLigree has been stealing King Sausage's pizza order again... with dire dietary consequences!
LKchav.jpg
Leighton Kru Member: L'illmissieee
A terrible story, as Leighton Kru's only female member she was pregnant aged 16, with her 4th child. Now lives in a council flat in the Planet's Estate where she neglects her kids and sells smack. Wicked!

L'illmissieee sells off one of her many children to the Radio 1 Script Writing department.


We're not doing anything copper, just pushing some crack, you knows it.

BACK UP POSSE

The Leighton Kru demands respect, and we get it, don't we? That's why the Leighton Kru is a member of the PKer alliance, and that's who we ring when we need backup or just a couple of fools taking out, you get me? So watch yourself, if you make trouble for us, we'll send every murderer in town after you! Respect blud!


Leighton Kru - Significantly Higher IQ than you

The Leighton Kru knows we is gonna be getting some enemies, but trust me bruv, we got this one under wraps, 'cause the Leighton Kru is got intelligence, innit! Bounty Hunter? We have friends in the DEM, we know where you is. Rival group? We got it infiltrated blud! Found da entire kru and killed em all? Course you ain't! You tink that we'd stick all of us up here so you get a nice hit list? Honestly blud, what do you take us for? Ain't no imitation gangsters here boi, you get me?

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