The Malton Bureaucrats

From The Urban Dead Wiki
Revision as of 17:33, 13 March 2009 by DanceDanceRevolution (talk | contribs)
(diff) ← Older revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)
Jump to navigationJump to search
Malton Bureaucrats
RedTape.PNG
Abbreviation: MB...But write out the whole name in your profile!
Group Numbers: Unconfirmed, several missing, presumed buried under paperwork
Leadership: Elections pending
Goals: To revivify the Municipality of Malton's most noble institution - bureaucracy!
Recruitment Policy: Contact any member or use our discussion boards. We'd prefer that you join www.usgovsim.com[[1]], as that is our main area of communication and where all current members are from.
Contact: Private sub-sub-sub-forum at www.usgovsim.com[[2]] in the UrbanDead Discussions sub-sub-forum in the General Talk sub-forum (wow, that's a lot of subs!)


The Malton Bureaucrats are a group of Malton residents fighting to restore social order through officiating, documenting, and litigating everything.

Mission Statement

There were those of us who wept when Malton fell into darkness. No, not because of the pain of lost loved ones, or being isolated from the outside world, or even for fear of the rising, cannibalistic dead. Nay, we, the Bureaucrats of Malton, wept because social order -and thus Government paperwork- would be no more... and also, more importantly, the zombies never obtained proper licenses to reanimate themselves from the City Morgue! Those were dark days...

But one day, the Bureaucrats band together. Determined to bring Malton back from darkness, we fight for neither humanity nor zombiedom, but instead for social order. We will obtain this through properly notarized, filed, copied, authorized, summarized, officially issued paperwork to ensure the legality of all actions and inactions. We will restore the Municipality of Malton, and ensure the eating frenzy and zombie killing is done in an orderly, documented, fashion!

Latest News

  • Feburary 26th, 2007: The Quest to Retake Marven Mall is fully engaged. Bureaucrat agents have recently been there, and ensured that the Permits to Loot for Essential Items have been reposted in strategic areas. We are continuing to request assistance to make the mall a safe place for kids, by kindly refraining from smoking in the food court. Remember, second-hand smoke kills... albeit a little slower than the walking undead.
  • Feburary 9th, 2007: The Malton Bureaucrats are fully involved in defending Marven Mall. We've practically declared war on the RRF Gore Corps....that is until each member pays thier fines. Fines for all RRF Gore Corps members are this: $12,707. Fines are payable in cashiers check or money order to "The Municipality of Malton". If Gore Corps members choose to pay thier fines in "lead", the following is needed: Either 6,354 Shotgun Shells or 12,708 Pistol Rounds. (these figures were created by using current ammunition pricing on 5-shell Boxes of 12-guage 00 Buckshot and 20-round boxes of .357 ammunition as priced in Atlanta, Georgia, United States of America)
  • December 12th, 2006: The Zombies have set up an illegal blockade of the Medical Facilities in Wykewood. As such, the Malton Bureaucrats have arrived at Adalbert Hospital to aid the Josephine's Generals in defense of the hospital and to collect fines from the Zombies.
  • December 1st, 2006: We have set up shop in Wykewood. While The Malton Bureaucrats had been trying to restore Bureaucracy to Marven Mall and South Blytheville, we decided that Wykewood needed our aid more than South Blytheville did. With our offices located just inside the Wykewood-S. Blytheville borders, we are able to effectively work in both neighborhoods.

Current Issues

  • We have an insufficient amount of carbon paper. As a result, we are unable to set a proper agenda to discuss our other current issues.
  • It is not clear whether the undead count for purposes of establishing a quorum for the Membership Committee.
  • The chain of succession to the position of Mayor is not established beyond 400 persons. We are therefore unsure who is the rightful acting mayor, but our reading indicates it is either
    • the Special Assistant to the Assistant Chief of Police,
    • the Assistant to the Deputy Director of the Department of Sanitation, or
    • the Senior Clerk to the Office of Emergency Affairs, retired.

If you see the persons holding one of these positions, please inform them that they are needed to sign some documents so that we may begin the permit process to get an exemption from the Clean Water act, due to the slight problem of spinal fluid being present in our drinking water at 4 parts per billion higher than the law allows.

  • We are running low on those numbers that get spit out of the "Now Serving" machines. We have had to resort to reusing used numbers, which has made waits for permits chaotic. We must find a new source for numbers so that customer wait times can be made uniformly long again.
  • We are asking the lunchroom not serve friccacied brain casserole to our non-undead employees. Unfortunately the inter-office memo got accidently soaked in blood.
  • When we finally have new elections, we may have to return to paper ballots. We first need to confirm that the undead can properly punch a ballot hole without eating the brains of the election workers. We also must find out if they can indeed operate a butterfly ballot, there have been rumors of immigrants from Southern Florida among the undead, so this may prove a problem.
  • We have an issue from accounting: Can we accept checks from the undead? And if so, will pre-undeath identification suffice?
  • All survivors are to fill out, in triplicate, forms 1-A, 4-C, and 54F in order to lawfully set up operational zones inside the City of Malton.
  • With regards to the Mayor of Malton, we have been informed from legal that there is a potential serious problem.
    • It turns out that the City Charter clearly states that "upon the death of a Mayor-elect, the Vice Mayor-elect shall assume the office. If the Vice Mayor-elect shall die, the Mayor-elect shall appoint a new Vice Mayor-elect with approval of the Council." Because the purported winner of the election is legally dead, the Vice Mayor-elect would become Mayor; except that he is also legally dead. There is no provision in the Charter for the simultaneous death of both candidates, therefore we still have no Mayor.
    • It is also not clear that *any* of the candidates were legally citizens, as they had all been dead at one point or another; likewise, virtually all of the voters were similarly disabled under the law.
    • We have created a Committee to Discuss the Scheduling of a Committee to Amend the Charter, but the meeting had to be delayed due to a question as to whether the members of the Committee were citizens themselves. We will be forming a Committee to resolve this matter.

Headquarters

Until City Hall can be made functional again, we are temporarilly operating at the 129th emergency backup city headquarters facility (from the list as revised in 1932) in the neighborhood of Wykewood. All GS-01 through GS-09 employees need to check in at 8:00 am, although we of course do not expect anyone to work during peak demand periods as per standard office policy. Please break the uber-secret blue seal (marked "Do not open except in case of undead invasion", plan drafted 1939) on your TPS forms to determine the exact address within Wykewood. Or look for the long line of people waiting for their revivication permits.

Fines, Citations, and Subpeonas

  • The Ridleybank Resistance Front, Shacknews, Feral Undead, Minions of the Apocalypse, and other large Zombie hoards are hereby fined $500.57 per zombie for failure to obtain permits for large public gatherings.
  • Silent Storm is hereby fined $1,456.79 per radio transmitter destroyed for destruction of public property without a permit.
  • The RRF Gore Corps, and most especially Goolina and Ghoulius Caesar, are hereby fined $7,645.98 each for spying without a license.
  • The RRF Gore Corps are fined $4,560.87 for PKing without a license.

Allies

The Malton Bureaucrats are pleased to work with our friends in our operating neighborhoods, who have been granted a blanket Permit to Dispose of Undead Hordes. The list officially includes the following (there may be others, however, who have been lost in the Master In Pile temporarilly)


Sgpicon1.gif Sacred Ground Policy Supporter
This user or group supports the Sacred Ground Policy and acknowledges that all Cemeteries in the city of Malton are considered Revivification Points.
Ubpicon1.gif Uniform Barricading Policy Supporter
This User or Group supports the Uniform Barricading Policy by actively maintaining barricades according to local plan or UBP standard.