Imperial War Machine/News Archives
This is an Imperial account of E-14, and the archive of events of the Imperial War Machine.
History
As of early December, Dakerstown was invaded by relentless waves of zombies. After being discovered in this state by arriving squad (IWM) they called for immediate action, afer repeated attempts at taking the suburb, a small area was opened long enough for a small Commando Squad to move in. Now in a secure network of builings they are slowly beginning to deter enemy forces, both Rotted zombies and small terrorist factions.
Most IWM Operatives have been killed and revived several times at this point, and as they still fight to protect the innocent civilians, terrorist propaganda fills the street. They have reorganized, and in an unanimous vote, they are now on the offensive to end this pathetic attempt to destabilize the Armed Services--14:53, 14 Jan 2006 (GMT)
At this point the IWM has eliminated 38 Terrorists and rising.--21:55, 17 Jan 2006 (GMT)
At this point the IWM has eliminated 43 Terrorists and rising.--21:07, 18 Jan 2006 (GMT)
At this point the IWM has eliminated 50 Terrorists and rising.--21:08, 20 Jan 2006 (GMT)
Huge Victory for IWM Freedom Fighters, 40% of Terrorists and Zombies alike have fled or have become so frustrated they quit, and now remain dead, littering the streets. Though this is a massive blow to the enemy, there still needs to be more work, before the Imperial War Machine's flag can wave secured above the area.--15:47, 21 Jan 2006 (GMT)
The IWM is sending reinforcements to their new Allies at the Caiger Mall.--16:57, 24 Jan 2006 (GMT)
We have moved our HQ to the Crespin Building due to the fact that our real FHQ was just breached but luck was with us and the evacuation happened before any casualties occured.
Alliance request by the Special Tactics And Rescue Squad Accepted.
At this point the IWM has eliminated 75 Terrorists and rising--17:41, 26 Jan 2006 (GMT)
At this point the IWM has eliminated 79 Terrorists and rising--15:30, 27 Jan 2006 (GMT)
The Dakerstown Elite Army Has Declared War, and is invading the suburb. All IWM agent are to stop this Insurgent Attack at all costs. THEY WILL BE STOPPED--15:34, 27 Jan 2006 (GMT)
The IWM is continuing to send aid to The Caiger Mall Survivors. Possible Negotiations with the Dakerstown Elite Army now Underway--00:32, 28 Jan 2006 (GMT)
The IWM is being reinforced. The 7th Fallschirmjager is Falling back to Dakerstown, all units ordered to assist in any way possible.--15:23, 28 Jan 2006 (GMT)
A Ceasfire with the DEA has been ordered.--16:07, 28 Jan 2006 (GMT)
At this point the IWM has eliminated 82 Terrorists and rising--20:41, 30 Jan 2006 (GMT)
At this point the IWM has eliminated 87 Terrorists and rising--19:32, 1 Feb 2006 (GMT)
"U.N.I.T." Is not welcome in Dakerstown as thier Logo is clearly, a CHEAP, BLATANT, RIPOFF Of The Proud, and Mighty Imperial War Machine Flag.--19:32, 1 Feb 2006 (GMT)
At this point the IWM has eliminated 89 Terrorists and rising--20:59, 2 Feb 2006 (GMT)
ENEMY STRONGHOLD LOCATED -- TOLLY LIBRARY (7,7) -- ONE TERRORIST TERMINATED, ENEMY PROPAGANDA DELETED, FOR MORE INTEL CONSULT WANTED DIRECTORY--20:59, 2 Feb 2006 (GMT)
At this point the IWM has eliminated 91 Terrorists and rising--17:09, 4 Feb 2006 (GMT)
At this point the IWM has eliminated 96 Terrorists and rising--20:59, 7 Feb 2006 (GMT)
The IWM Salutes The Gingerbread Men for the succesful capture and Renaming of (Formerly Known as RiddleyBank) CandyLand--20:59, 7 Feb 2006 (GMT)
At this point the IWM has eliminated 99 Terrorists and rising--20:40, 9 Feb 2006 (GMT)
THE STOBBART WALK INSURGENCY HAS BEEN TERMINATED. All the humans aiding and healing the zombies at Stobbart have been executed as Terrorists. and those innocent people in Stobbart have been liberated. All the Hostile Zombies inside stobart walk are being eradicated, by the Imperial-Caiger Coalition Forces. It Seems the wall of fear and hate that Terrorists like these people, hide behind, Is finally starting to crumble and fall in Dakerstown. It is a Shining Day in Empire.--Duce Nauks 20:40, 9 Feb 2006 (GMT)
At this point the IWM has eliminated 100 Terrorists. Great Job troopers. The Empire grows stronger every day thanks to you brave Exemplars.--23:00, 10 Feb 2006 (GMT)
TERRORIST LEADER, MORTIMER WILEY, TERMINATED BY DUCE NAUKS! The bravery of the scout that located him is also comended, thanks Jones, without you we couldn't have done it.--16:01, 12 Feb 2006 (GMT)
The Power of the Empire grows, The IWM welcomes it's new recruits. New training program Started for new recruits. Any person that would like to train with the IWM contact Duce Nauks--01:04, 15 Feb 2006 (GMT)
At this point the IWM has eliminated 105 Terrorists and rising--01:04, 15 Feb 2006 (GMT)
The Claw Squad is now fully operational, with Sergeant Nauks as thier leader.--01:05, 15 Feb 2006 (GMT)
At this point the IWM has eliminated 107 Terrorists and rising--21:20, 17 February 2006 (GMT)
All Silent on the Dakerstown Borders. No enemy factions prevailent at this time. Follow-up reports soon to follow--21:20, 17 February 2006 (GMT)
Barricades seem to be safer than usual It seems Zombie activity is slowing down, though, breaking still occur, it isn't as much anymore. The main Hotspot seems to be the Center of the suburb, and The NecroTech building.--16:30, 18 February 2006 (GMT)
At this point the IWM has eliminated 110 Terrorists and rising--16:30, 18 February 2006 (GMT)
At this point the IWM has eliminated 111 Terrorists and rising--17:07, 19 February 2006 (GMT)
Dilly Stick Dave had a Duel between himself, and a Zombie, And while upholding the Imperial Code Of Honor, Defeated this threat, though barely escaping with his life. A request has been put through to award Dave The Imperial Medal of Honor--17:13, 19 February 2006 (GMT)
At this point the IWM has eliminated 113 Terrorists and rising--01:49, 22 February 2006 (GMT)
Last night a breakin occured at one of our Compexes. Three Trespassers, a trespassing D.E.A. member, and two Imperials were killed. Thanks to advanced communications (Telephones, E-Mail and IM), and an all hours gaurd, the other Imperials were evacuated, and the building was sealed. The fallen Imperials were revived within fifteen minutes of death. There were no reports as to what happened to the Trespassers. It is suspected that this was the work of spies.--01:49, 22 February 2006 (GMT)
There have been no breakins since last report.There has been a spree of vandalism recently. Do not spray over Imperial signs, as they are important signs for civillians.--16:32, 22 February 2006 (GMT)
The Level one ban is being strengthened after the recent breakin. ALL LEVEL ONES WILL BE TERMINATED, IF TRESPASSING IN MILITARY BUILDINGS.--16:32, 22 February 2006 (GMT)
A Terrorist entered one of our side buildings, and assaulted one of our soldiers in the training program. He was found and Executed by Dilly Stick Dave before he could claim any lives though. Dakerstown is still becoming a safer place to be.--16:43, 23 February 2006 (GMT)
At this point the IWM has eliminated 114 Terrorists and rising--16:43, 23 February 2006 (GMT)
At this point the IWM has eliminated 115 Terrorists and rising--16:33, 24 February 2006 (GMT)
Caiger Mall is Currently under seige, But through the chaos and fire, a brave imperial citizen spotted a known and wanted terrorist. Gyrotica was going about his duties when he bravely engaged this foe. Mortimer Wiley, a terrorist leader dethroned by Duce Nauks, was on the run, and didn't expect to run into loyal Imperial Citizens once he left Imperial territory. A fatal Mistake. Gyrotica drew his gun, and stopped Mortimer dead in his tracks. Caiger is now more safe, thanks to this righteous Imperial Citizen.--16:31, 25 February 2006 (GMT)
The Malton Fire Department is requesting usage of Dakerstown Fire Departments, And Medical Facilities. As Of now this request is under review by the Galactic Senate. Update News of the situation will be posted when it is recieved.--16:40, 25 February 2006 (GMT)
Another Bobsleen was gunned down by our brave leader, Duce Nauks--20:39, 3 March 2006 (GMT)
At this point the IWM has eliminated 122 Terrorists and rising--20:39, 3 March 2006 (GMT)
The IWM is beginning an operation to eliminate all hostiles from Dakerstown. The Al Queda terrorist brothers, Known as the Bobsleens will be found and executed.
The IWM Executed Two More Bobsleens today. The Power of freedom and liberty grows with every terrorist we kill.--16:06, 4 March 2006 (GMT)
At this point the IWM has eliminated 126 Terrorists and rising--16:06, 4 March 2006 (GMT)
A new group has entered the suburb. Malton Tours Inc. They and the Al Queda brothers are suspected for the recent vandalism that occured. An investigation team has located thier hideout and is questioning them now.--16:06, 4 March 2006 (GMT)
At this point the IWM has eliminated 129 Terrorists and rising--15:17, 5 March 2006 (GMT)
The Imperial War Machine Has effectively taken over The Necro Tech building and is soon to shut down the revive points for a short period of time, due to the repeated revival of PKers at the hands of unknowing civillians.--15:17, 5 March 2006 (GMT)
At this point the IWM has eliminated 132 Terrorists and rising--21:13, 7 March 2006 (GMT)
Sid Bobsleen, a known Al Queada brother, was executed today, by Sergeant Duce Nauks of the Acian Military.--21:13, 7 March 2006 (GMT)
Our Medical-Reconnisance Team located Terry Bobsleen, and in a brave act of Valor, Meat Patty Jones risked his life to ensure that the terrorist would not live to cause any more harm to any Imperial Citizen.--21:13, 7 March 2006 (GMT)
Due to the actions of one "Tarrot Key" the Darkerstown Elite Army has declared War on the Empire. THIS BLATANT ACT OF TERRORISM WILL NOT BE TOLERATED, AND WILL BE COUNTERVAILED IN BLOOD.--21:13, 7 March 2006 (GMT)
The DEA is so weak that they have resorted to writing over Imperial tags and spreading lies and propagand, saying we are a PKer group. Since we are not, we take great offence to that. We did not start this war but we will end it.--Duce Nauks 21:11, 8 March 2006 (GMT)
As of now, no military operations have been carried out bye the DEA. They started this unjust war. We will allow them to make the first wrong move.--Duce Nauks 21:11, 8 March 2006 (GMT)
IMPERIAL VICTORY!!! The Leader of all the terrorist operations in Roywood and Dakerstown has been Assasinated by Sergeant Duce Nauks of the Acian Military. The Commander of the United Assault is personally awarding Sergeant Nauks with the Acian Medal of Honor. But this is just one victory against the terrorists. Once all the DEA people have been killed, the War will close on this front. And hell, after the troop withdrawral and evacuation off all Imperial Citizens, the groveling terrorists can take the empty buildings that are left standing.--19:44, 9 March 2006 (GMT)
After wiping out yet another squad of DEA insurgents, the DEA has becume severely Crippled. Thier offensive capabilities have been crushed, and are now in a state of perpetual Defense. It will be over soon. Then we can all go home.--15:14, 11 March 2006 (GMT)
The Imperial War Machine has massacred the invading DEA forces that tried to murder the life left in Dakerstown. But since the DEA force was eliminated, the remaining men have scattered, and the War Zone has spilled into surrounding suburbs. All people in the Northwest Corner be advised, the area is very dangerous with these terrorists running about. If any DEA person is spotted, Kill them immediately, as they are looking for sleeping people to kill and get experience from. If any civillian knows the whereabouts of the DEA insurgency, we implore you to alert the IWM. Thank you for your cooperation, this will all be over soon, and the innocent people will be safe again.--19:57, 12 March 2006 (GMT)
The Imperial War Machine is releasing one of the confirmed kills. A one "Slamm" was killed when trying to sabbotage a police station in Roywwod. More information will be available soon.--21:01, 14 March 2006 (GMT)
Freeze has been unveiled! They have been giving aid to the DEA since the beginning of the conflict. In being alerted that the Empire found this out, Freeze is preparing to re-enter Dakerstown. They will be defeated. AGAIN.--23:56, 14 March 2006 (GMT)
People everywhere are resopnding to the call of the Empire. The Final Resistance. has pledged to support the IWM, along with other righteous Imperial Citizens.--23:56, 14 March 2006 (GMT)
Man! Talk about getting trashed! "Dick Tech", a person who constantly vandalized Imperial Pages, was ripped to shreds just minutes ago. Coming up from our south base, Dave happen to find the scrawny little punk fast asleep dreaming sweet dreams. With a smile, Dave decided to wake him up, the Texas Way. A howdy, a wave, and a Fire Axe to the skull. Luckily, he used the back of the axe, to give as much pain as possible. After thoroughly making it so Dick's face was unrecognisable to a pile of ground beef, he decided to to share in the fun. He figured, that since the Pheonix Coorperation was constantly targeted by these Terrorists, it should be one of them that puts an end to the Dick. A weaker member was online at the time, and decided to exact a little well deserved revenge. Let's just say, that Dick isn't talkin' much now, Are ya Dick?--22:17, 15 March 2006 (GMT)
After being briefly set back by Grant Page, Sergeant Duce Nauks got back up, walked to the Gristwood hotel. . . and morally discouraged him. Grant "get's a B+ for effort" but thanks to our network of revive stations, and helpful citizens, the IWM will not even be slowed down by such trivial things.--17:20, 16 March 2006 (GMT)
Dave, upon hearing the ruckus in Dakerstown, returned from a long range assignment, and came across Grant Page. Need I continue? We'll it ends with putting a heavy duty fireaxe in someone's face, Like most of Dave's stories do end anyway. Who says Texans aren't friendly?--17:33, 16 March 2006 (GMT)
During a Retaliation Strike on F.R.E.E.Z.E., Imperial Soldiers assulted club McGee in order to stem the flow of RTA PKers entering Dakerstown. It seems Freeze was attempting to revive the Club McGee insurgency that was put down months before by the IWM. In the assault, "Jumpin Jack Flash", a person, who according to the terrorist Firemanstan, helped create Freeze, Was killed by Dave in brutal hand to hand combat. He was executed in front of his piers. We hope this will end the foolish, ignorant attack by Freeze. The Empire has already assasinated Hudson, and has Executed Flash. All that's left now is to finish humiliating the RTA by Executing Stan and Krey. So cowardly, they stay deep in thier own territory, while our men take the fight to them every single day.--15:57, 17 March 2006 (GMT)
Possible cease Fire with Freeze. News Updates will be posted as they are recieved.--18:05, 18 March 2006 (GMT)
Active cease fire with the DEA in effect.--19:30, 20 March 2006 (GMT)
Active Cease fire with F.R.E.E.Z.E. in effect.--18:32, 24 March 2006 (GMT)
Barricading patrols started again. Suburb slowly returning to normal.--16:21, 26 March 2006 (BST)
At this point the IWM has eliminated 147 Terrorists and rising--19:01, 27 March 2006 (BST)
At this point the IWM has eliminated 149 Terrorists and rising--20:30, 31 March 2006 (BST)
The Majorities of the North Western Factions have formed a council. The Imperial War Machine was asked to join this council, and accepted the request.--20:30, 31 March 2006 (BST)
The War on Daris, A.K.A. Council of Lunatics, has fallen silent. The IWM is seeing less and less of them. This can only be due to the IWM actons that shut down the Revive Centers On the South-East corner of the map (The Center of the North Western Zone).--16:43, 1 April 2006 (BST)
The DEA temporary HQ was discovered to be Blasted open with no survivors inside. Multiple Zombies were also found inside.--15:55, 2 April 2006 (BST)
Congratulations men. At this point the IWM has eliminated 150 Terrorists, And We keep bringing those numbers up. One Hundred Fiftieth Kill was scored by IWM Fallschirmjager while assaulting and retaking an old IWM building. This marks IWM Superiority throughout the suburb.--Duce Nauks 15:55, 2 April 2006 (BST)
At this point the IWM has eliminated 152 Terrorists and rising--20:54, 3 April 2006 (BST)
The RTA set up a fake little news paper, which is Obviously and Blatantly Bias, Lies. This is not appreciated by the IWM. If we were to do something like that, at least we have the Testicular Fortitude to claim responsibility. They however, do not. They still choose to walk the path of Dishonor and Shame.--Duce Nauks 20:54, 3 April 2006 (BST)
Dr. Lariat, the leading officer of DARIS insurgents in the area, was executed today at approximately 5:00 EST. Apparently he called for backup to help him escape from the Galactic Marines, but no help came. The Bobsleens have not been spotted in Dakerstown for some time, and it is suspected, they abandoned thier leader. Another Victory for the glorious, righteous, and unstoppable Imperial War machine.--00:13, 4 April 2006 (BST)
In Today's early hours, an Imperial Page was Falsely created. The Problem was fixed, and the links removed. The New Wanted page is IWM WANTED.--21:05, 5 April 2006 (BST)
At this point the IWM has eliminated 153 Terrorists and rising--21:05, 5 April 2006 (BST)
Very little Action going down at this point. All combat has for the most part ceased. All is quiet, and Dakerstown has, for the most part, cooled down. Claw Squad Agents patrol the streets and investigate buildings regularly. Pheonix has succesfully shut down the NT facility to civillians. No DEA soldiers spotted anywhere in the suburb. Unexplained trespass by FREEZE. FREEZE reconnaissance member "Swift Feet" Holed up in Junkyard [1,7].
A new face has shown itself in the North West. The KeyBlade Masters is a blatant Ripoff of the IWM. They are not welcome in Dakerstown, and are not to be aided if aid is requested, or needed.--Duce Nauks 21:12, 7 April 2006 (BST)
As of now Imperial Troops are covering the Suburb. Tomorrow, the Imperial Assessment will begin.--21:12, 7 April 2006 (BST)
IMPERIAL VICTORY!!! DARIS IS GONE! NO DARIS OR COL PERSONNAL WERE SPOTTED DURING THE DAKERSTOWN ASSESSMENT SWEEP! THE EMPIRE HAS WON THE NORTH WESTERN INSURGENCY CONFLICT! THIS IS TRULY THE MOST IMPORTANT VICTORY IN E-14 HISTORY. THE COMMANDER OF THE ENTIRE UNITED ASSAULT HAS COMMENDED THE TROOPS IN E-14.--Duce Nauks 16:09, 8 April 2006 (BST)
Since DARIS is gone, may it be Forever or just Temporarily, things are getting better and better for Dakerstown. There hasn't been a breakin in Imperial buiding in over two weeks! Boys, it's time to have ourselves a PARTY!--Duce Nauks 20:58, 10 April 2006 (BST)
McDougall Cinima [7,3] was blasted open, and stormed today by the Claw Squad, in a retaliation strike on the MalTel Impersonators. So far one was killed by Sergeant Duce Nauks, Others Wounded. All Members are to storm the facility and kill as many people as possible, though the priority targets are still those who work with the Maltel Impersonators.--15:29, 15 April 2006 (BST)
The Priority Targets have moved to the Oaks Museum [6,5]. The Claw Squad arrived on scene minutes after the barricades were blasted open by the Pheonix Group. Segeant Duce Nauks personally executed one of the terrorists with his bare hands, while Dave severely wounded another. The MalTel impersonators have all but been eradicated. The only ones who remain are George Hayduke, and MANNIX.--15:26, 16 April 2006 (BST)
It seems like we've run them out of the suburb guys. The maltel Impersonators cut tail and ran like hell after a week of consecutive assaults from the Claw Squad. George Hayduke is hiding in the Carse building in Roywood, but he's no threat now. Just a small fry, with no innocent civillians left to pick on. Good job guys, but be vigilant, they might come back. . . Back for another ass kicking, but back none the less.--Duce Nauks 14:51, 21 April 2006 (BST)
Guess who showed up again? George Hayduke. But this time, he showed up a bit different. After stumbling his way into an Imperial Controlled Church, started ranting, "You guys are a joke! A Joke! This is malton, and u guys did such a job t/ing teh buildings w/ no bcades and the poeple are gone! The Claw squad is dead people, Ha hA! I'm Famous! IM FAMOUS!" He then proceded to run from the building screaming "This can't be happening", in a manic way. I know it doesn't seem it, but this is factual, and really did happen, exactly as described. There were many witnesses in the church at that time who can verify this. Apparently, now insane from having no influence or power, Hayduke has fled from Dakerstown, and it is Very doubtful, that he will be back.--Duce Nauks 16:03, 22 April 2006 (BST)
It seems Goerge Hayduke isn't finished with his . . . well, the only word for it is, Assery. Kind of like Jackassery, with the exeption of everyone laughing at him, as opposed to with him. Apparently, he ran full speed into Dakerstown, and painted, "Hayduke Lives!" onto three buildings . . . on the border. He apparently refers to this as a "Revolution". Well, it isn't. It's some friendless ass with a spraycan. All in all, it's no more that an annoyance. The Heroic Imperials still protects the militarized buildings and designated survivor points. And what's even better, the Imperial War Machine is attracting new members. Today, more citizens stepped foreward to honor themselves by extinguising terrorism. The Empire grows more Powerful day by day. We will prevail anything, we always have, we always will.--Duce Nauks 20:26, 24 April 2006 (BST)
The Imperial forces are still holding up, even through the surge of zombies in the North West. We've started noticing that we are slowly lasting out the other groups, The flase Maltel group fell to pieces, we defeated DARIS, and DHPD is slowly falling into hell. If we end up being the last North Western group, that would be quite an accomplishment. But like always, we'll pull through.--Duce Nauks 17:32, 28 April 2006 (BST)
Reports on rumors of a suprise attack on Caiger Mall were brought up. The Empire would not be surprised if it happened, though if it does not follow through, the Empire would also not be moved by the fact. In other news, it seems like Hayduke has been a busy litle bug. He's run around Dakertown spraying things like "Hayduke Lives". Apparently so, It seems he doesn't realize that you need to be alive to spray slogans on the wall. We pity him greatly, so if you happen to spot this tiny, little man, let us know, so we can mercifully put this Temporarily living brain rotter, out of his painful misery.--17:32, 28 April 2006 (BST)
All is proceeding normaly, and the suburb is recovering from the zombie surge according to plan. Hayduke is still running around naked and screaming with a spraycan. His revolution still hasn't gotten anywhere (What a surprise). That is all the news to report as of now.--14:51, 1 May 2006 (BST)
All units are to go on alert, DARIS has returned, time to kick thier Asses. Again. A terrorist plant in a F.R.E.E.Z.E. building was discovered, and reported to the IWM. Duce Nauks proceeded to the point, and executed the Wanted terrorist, R J MacReady. It seems that Hayduke is still afraid of enerting Dakerstown. What a pity.--21:07, 4 May 2006 (BST)
Unquestionable push! Three wanted terrorists were executed today, all being part of the MWG. The so called "Revolution", wich in reality is no more than an bad excuse for terrorism has no doubtedly been thwarted. Only two MWG terrorists remain. One of them severely wounded. The Empire is still the North Western Powerhouse. No doubt about it.--21:38, 5 May 2006 (BST)
In the early hours of last night, Emeric Belasco, another MWG terrorist was executed. We hope this seves as an example to the terrorists, for starting the war against the Imperial War Machine.--18:16, 6 May 2006 (BST)
The Claw Squad executed a possible insurgent today, for sending threats out to other people, and IWM members. Other than that, no interesting news to report.--17:58, 7 May 2006 (BST)
Nauks tried to speak with Hayduke today, and while the Sergeant was waiting for the IP adress to renew, he found out that Hayduke had been there, then abruptly scampered off. "The man has no patience, that's not a good trait in a so called "Leader". If he ever does want to hear what I had to say, he can get off his ass and find me." Along with this, the IWM did a surveilance sweep of few Roywood buildings, and after finding nearly every enemy sleeping or dead, comcured that the Insugents are clearly afraid of entering Dakerstown. Sergeant Nauks was quoted saying to one "I don't blame you." A message to the troops as followed . . . "Don't worry about them, let them be angry, and curse our name all they want. As long as they keep thier ass out of our territory, don't bother getting strung out chasing them, they're not even close, to being worth it."--21:30, 8 May 2006 (BST)
An MWG insurgent, briefly entered the Dakerstown Base, and said "If you keep Destroying the Generator in the mast, we'll keep destroying you." He then proceded to walk up to a sleeping Imperial, punch him in the shin twice, and scamper off. Wow, we are so destroyed now. Though the perpetrator fled Dakerstown as fast as his little legs could move, another, more bold insurgent popped up. Apparently, he has never crossed us before, and never actually did, but simply wearing the MWG tag labeled himself as a terrorist, and he was punished. Brutally. After that, The Claw Squad Heroes that punished this vile scum, saw to it that the generator was destroyed. Well, were waiting. What are you going to do next "O' great Destroyer", are you gonna call us names? Or perhaps you'll just throw paper balls at us from across a room. Other than the punishment of the Terrorists, nothing noteworthy has occured.--19:27, 9 May 2006 (BST)
One of our Phonix Coorporation members, proved to be a hero today. Zombie SteveMan, who had lost his life the night before, awoke to the West Roywood Necro Tech building being assaulted. The doors were open, and there sat Five helpless survivors, who were exausted from fighting, and had given up. Steve unwaiveringly threw himself infront of the horde, slaughtering the offenders with every last bit of energy he had. Though he burned out the adrenalin that coursed through his veins, it wasn't for naught. He held them off long enough for some of the civillians to evacuate the building, and we hope that FREEZE arrives on time to get the rest out. He thoughtlessly protected the very people that considered him thier greatest enemy just months ago. For this act of true courage, he was awarded by Sergeant Ghost Clone, the Imperial Medal Of Valor.--20:29, 10 May 2006 (BST)
Dilly stick Dave, in training to be a Claw Squad Elite, was assaulted earlier today. Since the MWG is far too cowardly to stay in Dakerstown, they teamed up on him, to ensure that they were able to kill him. Too bad for them . . . they didn't. An assault team was called up in the hour, and using thier Elite Ranger skills, tracked the one of the offenders down. The other offender ran like hell, and MWG guys are barely worth chasing. Being the very kind and understanding group that we are, we saw it fair, to team up on him. But to be kind, we made his Execution worth it, by turning it into a fun game. Who could cause the most pain! Dave one by dealing the most damage, but the Claw Squad King scored the kill. "So, all in all, we killed had a few brewski's, killed a few cowardly terrorists, and most of all had fun. A good day it was indeed."--21:30, 11 May 2006 (BST)
More MWG terrorists were brought to thier knees today. Though, it can be difficult for us, because we are always the good guys. But Alas, that is the burden we must carry. For justice, the fight against terrorism is always on the move! We run them down as many times as it takes, (And apparently, these people are mentally deficient, for still wanting to be run down, everyday). Sergeant Nauks commented, "These guys are less inrellectual than the Bobsleens, and that's saying something." Indeed it is. We hope to lead these terrorists to the light, to show them the errors in thier misdoings, to let them live without Imperials brutally cutting them down day after day. But, it's like talking to soggy toilet paper, Wich decribes thier intelligence, and thier combat abilities.--14:50, 14 May 2006 (BST)
MWG terrorist Rasputina located and terminated by Stormtrooper Mendoza.The terrorist was shot repeatedly in the chest and then "pimpsmacked" killing the target from the force of his armored hand. "All too easy"--LCpl Mendoza 00:58, 15 May 2006 (BST)
Guess who was located again? Rasputina, harassing innocent roywood civillians. Sergeant Nauks had this to say, after sticking Rasputina's own knife in his ass, and hurling him out the window, "The second I first saw his name weeks ago, I knew I was gonna end up killing this scum. His name reminds me of that shitbag communist Rasputin, and I hate communism as much as I hate terrorism. It feels good to kill two birds with one stone. . . or a knife in the ass, You know, what ever's easier."--21:09, 15 May 2006 (BST)
TERMINATED: George Hayduke
Mourners at Execution: ZERO
Imperial Superiority: CONFIRMED
In a retaliation strike, members of the MWG yelled at IWM Claw Squad Commandos . . . That's it. Of all the things they could have done, they chose to use the words "You guys are lame". Sergeant Nauks's rebuttle was as followed, "Ow, We're really bleeding now, let me tell ya". He also made the public announcement. . . "One things for certain though, Haydukes probably regretting buying Brain Rot! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHA AHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!"--20:28, 17 May 2006 (BST)
All goes well in Dakerstown, after an assault on an MWG hideout, there has been no sign of MWG incursions. Good riddence. The Zombie-Traps are working nicely, and MWG insurgents are falling for the bait. Everytime they even tap a Claw Squad soldier they are immediately tracked. "They're too stupid to figure it out, they think they are winning battles, in reality they're giving away thier own ratholes." Said Sergeant Nauks, with a smile on his face. Other than that, the NWA Allied efforts to clean up Dakerstown are moving along.--17:35, 21 May 2006 (BST)
Destruct Jen was tresspassing in Dakerstown today. Well, let's say with two broken legs and an Axewound to the head, he won't be tresspassing anywhere any longer. Also, Hayduke, and a face we haven't crunched in a while, Powerpiper, were spotted in (And it's an appropriate place) The Dick towers [10,0]. Soon the building won't be standing anymore.--20:39, 22 May 2006 (BST)
Well, I bet Powerpiper is regretting being near Dakerstown. As for other news, It is now MANDATORY to Destroy any generator in the Buttle phone mast building. This is not meant to be against any person in Dakerstown. Simply, It pisses all the MWG terrorists off so much, that they go on a Rant and Rave, losing thier minds in self pity, at not being able to do the thing they set out to do. So everybody . . . Get blastin.--Duce Nauks 20:20, 23 May 2006 (BST)
Rant and Rave found at:http://wiki.urbandead.com/index.php/Talk:Malton_Telephone#False_Maltel_Members I think I won. :D--Duce Nauks 20:22, 23 May 2006 (BST)
No news to report today. Buttle Building blasted to pieces by Claw Squad and TIE Support.--20:18, 24 May 2006 (BST)
War Of The Nerds, Part One is out.--22:10, 24 May 2006 (BST)
The Buttle building was smashed today by Imperial Special Forces. An unidentifed person was executed on scene. No other news to report.--20:04, 25 May 2006 (BST)
Once again, the Buttle building has been neutralized. Jones simply said, "I love my job" and went back on gaurd duty. In other News, Destruct Jen, was executed by Sergeant Nauks, who according to the two witnesses, did so with a smile.--20:33, 26 May 2006 (BST)
Hayduke, was once again, terminated. We hope that he gets the message, and leaves, so no more blood must be shed.--15:28, 28 May 2006 (BST)
Generator Terminated . . . Twice. Any personnal that happens to see SGT FROG, is ordered to give him a 9mm gift to the head. No other news to report--20:33, 30 May 2006 (BST)
War Of The Nerds, Part Two is out.--Duce Nauks 00:26, 31 May 2006 (BST)
A Spy by the name of "SGT. FROG" was executed today, just as planned. Also, the IWM is now helping to keep up generator status of the phone mast in Dakerstown. As it goes without saying, the order to destroy the generators, having been EXTREMELY SUCCESSFUL, are now complete, and needn't be carried out further. Not only has the MWG failed, at keeping the generator up, but MalTel, requested WE aid in the upkeep of the generator (Ouch, DAMN! Talk about ironic. The MWG pretty much just got Assed in thier entire campain!). As newly appointed suburb managers, once our other duties are fulfilled, we'll try to keep the phones up for evertyone too.--21:13, 31 May 2006 (BST)
Well Hayduke is at his, Wikipedia Assery again. I love this, he just blatantly lies, you can view the conversation Maltel and I had on our discussion page, and Brick's talk page.
Hayduke's Wisdom:
Well, in case our readers can't make it through all of Duce's misspellings and his poor grammar/punctuation, Duce is INDEED reversing his order about destroying the Dakerstown generators, JUST as I said he would. & you know why Duce backed down? Because I sent MalTel a detailed account of Duce's recent generator-destroying shenannigans, & they (MalTel) stated that if he (Duce Nauks) doesn't clean up his act in Dakerstown "things will happen." OUCH INDEED! Quite a little spanking MalTel gave you there, Duce. I hope you didn't cry too much! Anyone who doubts this TRUE version of things, email me & I'll be more than happy to forward you a copy of the emails between myself & MalTel. Well, in the end all that matters to the MWG is that the phones are back working in Dakerstown, & that the IWM has indeed accepted responsibility for their misdeeds. Now we MWGers can get back to our main job: the liberating of Dakerstown from the IWM. --George Hayduke
My Response:
Oooh, a spanking ay? So tell me Hayduke, why don't you put up these mysterious letters huh? Or even better, put up the recently removed piece about the nazi's, and the stalin reference. Or . . . are you too ashamed? Apparently, politely asking for our group's help in restoring generators was "Things Happening". Guess what? Not only did you fail at keeping the phone mast up, but . . . we now have your job. Well don't worry, I hear the unemployment lines aren't that bad once you get used to them. Are you gonna cry now? Or, are you going to try to make people hate me because I don't carry a dictionary around my neck like you do. And, uh oh, this was posted by the infamous, "DUCE NAUKS HIMSELF"!
I also enjoyed reading how basically, you cried to the group that kicked you out, long enough so they mentioned it to us, just to shut you up. I feel like crying, they really spanked me with thier harsh words, like, "Please"! and "Thank You"! Oh god! they were merciless! But, OH NO! We better apologise for shananagary, before Hayduke Cries some more. We're sorry we made you feel bad.--Duce Nauks 02:59, 1 June 2006 (BST)
Here George, mabey this will help -- 
Here's MY prediction. Hayduke is either going to . . .
1.) Cry about it.
2.) Remove it from the MWG page as though it never happened, and pretend it didn't, in the hopes that Moderators like Xoid, didn't read it and laugh.
3.) Try to make a comeback, but fail miserably. Like every other time he tried against me.
4.) Cry some more.
Or
5.) All of the above, repeating Step 4, Eight times.
Let's see how things play out, shall we?--Duce Nauks 02:59, 1 June 2006 (BST)
Operation RAZOR ICE 1 was a great Success. Two MWG communists, and Dr. Lariat, a known terrorist, were brought to justice late last night. This Brutality Tactic, will be remembered as the beginning of a new era. The Leniency the Empire has shown to the MWG is now dead. They want to fight for thier ideals like they write, well then, lets give them something to write about.--17:09, 3 June 2006 (BST)
Steve, was moving southward, when he stubmled across Kolchak's little hideyhole. In a furious Axe Battle, the Scientist that was rescued so long ago came out victorious, and stmbled back North to keep protecting Dakerstown.
Jones, moving westward, located Mishkin, a known Communist, and sent up the signal flare. Though he was badly wounded by miskin in a Fire Arms skirmish, he still managed to terminate Shaggy2Dope, a much more dangerous target than any pitiful communist. Shagg's head now lies under a pile of corpses, including his own.--Duce Nauks 19:37, 8 June 2006 (BST)
Servrineye will begin shortly, all Imperial Fallshirmjager Report.--Duce Nauks 19:37, 8 June 2006 (BST)
Karl Kolchak was uncerimoniously Executed today by Sgt. Nauks. All in all, It's been a slow week. The MWG still not staying in Dakerstown for fear of death, and the IWM hunting them down almost every day.--15:43, 10 June 2006 (BST)
Sgt. Nauks has Executed Rasputina, again. No other news to report today.--17:11, 11 June 2006 (BST)
Steve and Jones felt it was time for a little bit of fun, and chose to have fun drawing. With guns. On MANNIX's face. The Combat is going so well in our favor, that Servrineye, is used very little. Other than that, no news at the moment.--20:37, 12 June 2006 (BST)
Dave, coming upon Emeric Balesco, greeted the MWG member, who we've missed very, very much. Dave gave Emeric our most heartfelt Axe to the face, as a welcome back to thier hell they've made.--20:27, 13 June 2006 (BST)
Jones came to consciousness late this afternoon, after holding his own against three MWG communists. Awaking, he found Mishkin, standing in the doorway, axe in hand. No words were necessary. The two began what is recorded as the first time Mishkin, or any MWG for that matter, had showed any Honorability. The duel that ensued was violent, and spread to three other buildings before it ceased. When the dust cleared, Jones threw Mishkin an FAK, and with the little AP they had left, hobbled off in opposite directions. A draw, but a duel none the less. For this, Mishkin's life was spared by a patrol returning to Dakerstown. We hope the rest of the MWG will follow in the footsteps of Mishkin.--Duce Nauks 20:27, 13 June 2006 (BST)
Karl Kolchak was executed today by Sgt. Nauks. No other news to report.--17:47, 14 June 2006 (BST)
Karl Kolchak was Executed yesterday, in a fine display of a true, stand up Imperial Citizen. Today, Emeric Belasco was Executed by Steve. Nice one Steve.--17:42, 16 June 2006 (BST)
R J MacReady was executed today by Sergeant Nauks. No other news to report at the moment.--16:24, 18 June 2006 (BST)
All units, Temporary Ceasefire between the Imperial Military and the MWG. All other operations are to resume full speed.--16:57, 24 June 2006 (BST)
We apologise for the recent lack of updates. We now have two more branches of the IWM extending into BattleCorp, and GUNZ THE DUEL.--00:18, 19 July 2006 (BST)
The Imperial War Machine has been eye witness to the slow deterioration of the MWG, and pitiful defeat to the local Zombies. It was INEVITABLE.
The DEA broke apart, and FREEZE has also made a full scale retreat. The DEA was lucky to separate though, for they don't carry the heavy burdon of Standing thier ground in the North West. The Imperials are so far, proving to be the only lasting group in the North West. DARIS even ran with thier tail between thier legs when they got wind of us coming to get 'em. With no other groups remaining, the Imperial War Machine now has full control of the smoldering crater known as Dakerstown.--Duce Nauks 00:18, 19 July 2006 (BST)
EMERGENCY. EMERGENCY.
All assigned Imperial troops are to report. THE CLAW SQUAD HAS BEEN REINSTATED. ALL CLAW SQUAD TROOPS ARE TO BEGIN SLAUGHTERING ANY LOCAL ZED FORCES. ALL IMPERIAL TROOPS NOT ASSIGNED TO THE CLAW SQUAD ARE TO REPORT TO THE EMERGENCY BASE, IMMEDIATELY.--00:18, 19 July 2006 (BST)
Claw Squad troopers are currently defending Breatnall Grove PD in Judgewood. After hearing the calls of serveral zombies, the Claw Squad showed up to find the building burst into. After combating the zombies who were trying to do harm to the civillians, they did thier best to close the doors and begin taking the combat outside the building.--19:44, 19 July 2006 (BST)
Breatnall Grove no longer a priority. All troopers report to Dakerstown for gaurd and revivification duty.--Duce Nauks 16:50, 6 August 2006 (BST)
All soldiers are to kill any remaining terrorist factions. --Duce Nauks 17:36, 10 August 2006 (BST)
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