Journal:Conrad Scheisskopf/2009-06-30

Damn these misshapen hands!

Since returning to the glorious peace of unlife, I have sought a target to vent my more primal impulses upon, but have been frustrated in this simple quest!

Searching for prey, I sniff at the air and catch a whiff of a familiar scent... Not harman, but of harman, and close by! A bitter, pungent scent that reminds of two slashes of red crossing on a sea of white.

Perhaps this meant safety to me while I lived, but now it makes me salivate! I find it deeply, inextricably linked to the idea of food!

I turn to seek the source of this aroma, but it twists away! Surely it is far too close to evade me...

Several more turns, and not only does my quarry appear no closer, but I feel a warm, queasy sensation behind my eyes and in my middle.

I stagger briefly, and notice that the scent is no longer whirling away. I feint to one side, only to snap my claws in the opposite direction!

Nothing.

Except...

Was there a rattling behind me just now? Yes. And a slight tug at my shoulders...

Ah, there it is. I reach with one claw (but holding my body still, this is key!) and I find a thing of cloth encircling my shoulder. Loops holding a bag onto my back...

With a fair struggle, I wriggle free from this and sniff at it. Yes, this is definitely where the scent came from!

I tear at the cloth, disappointed to find more cloth inside, flat white ones in rolls, and small brown shiny things. I smash one against the ground, and it splits open, the bitter scent becomes very strong now! This is definitely what I smelled...

But why the association? This is clearly not food.

I tear through the remains of the cloth thing and find a hard white box, with a red shape on it, like two strips of red crossing.

Cross! Yes, that's it. Food behind the cross!

I smash the box; more cloth, more bitter scent.

Food not in box, too small. Food inside BIG BOX, box of walls! Walls with cross on it!

Now I'm getting somewhere - food hides behind wall with red cross, it seems so obvious now.

I stumble along until I hear a distant groan of hunger, quickly silenced as if biting something...

I head toward the sound, and see the cross I was looking for, on a wall, no less.

I hear a loud noise, like the crack of something breaking, magnified a thousand-fold. I see a creature fall backward away from the cross wall, wood and metal slamming together, heavy things moving, grunting.

Grunting! I sniff - food!

As efficient and powerful as my hands have grown, I am humbled by this... thing of wood and metal that keeps me out. The feeble boxes and splinters the harmans reinforce them with is no challenge to my powerful limbs, but this final obstacle vexes me yet!

Cross means food - beautiful, delicious red!

But thing of wood and metal covers hole in wall, cannot smash this thing...

Think!

There was something, some motion to open it, but the more I clutch at the haze of memories, the more it dissipates.

Forget it for now...

Wait! I saw once, wall with no flat wood or metal across its hole. And cross. Again this pattern flashes before my eyes, but brown this time...

Yes! I remember where I saw it, and lurch back in that direction.

And I see, I see... YES! Boxes and thin flat things blocking hole, but these are no match for my might!

Smash, smash, smash! My obstacles crack and give way.

Food smell is so close, yes. No thing to stand between this time...

-Conrad Scheisskopf, North Blythville, 2009 June 30