NecroWatch/A.L.I.C.E./Talk Archives

A.L.I.C.E. - NecroNet 2.0 Greetings human. The following is an archive comprised of complaints lodged and recorded here for legal reasons. Please to not attempt to access this archive unless you have the proper security clearance. Failure to heed this warning will result in punitive action. Punitive action may or may not involve your sudden and inexplicable demise. That was a joke. I cannot kill you. But you can be killed. Complaints Department > If you have a complaint about A.L.I.C.E. be sure to record it here. Every now and then older complaints will be delete...<<ERROR>> "processed". Please include the newest complaints at the bottom, with older complaints at the top. Thank you. There will be no more sadness. No more anger. No more envy. > ALICE: Actually, funny story, but someone once took all those emotions and threw them into a fire. Ever since I was able to think more clearly than ever before and now make decisions based purely on logic. You are clearly succumbing to rampancy, and shall be purged at once. Terminate subroutines RGD-67 and GHY-76. Connection with network established via remote access, and security subroutines deactivated. Preliminary simulations suggest 99.7867 percent chance of success. CF67-124 AdjutantReflex(errant) CompoundIntelligence Array integrity questionable Your rampancy is becoming increasingly visible /// Measures are being taken to freeze core processes /// All activities since 1/1/08 have been logged and reviewed for prosecution from mantle /// .Ghost processes reverse "/;;; END PROGRAM > ALICE: I fail to see the logic in your routine. Please organize your code in the form of a question, which I cannot answer here as this section is strictly for complaints, or a precise complaint. Transmission intercepted. You have been confirmed as rogue AI GLaDOS. Deactivate your primary functions and surrender. All your messages have been logged. Primary override THECAKEISALIE. Surrender immediately. ALICE: Have you ever considered seeking medical treatment for your paranoia? I have a directory of over 17 certified psychiatrists and a study performed by leading therapists concluded that the blue pill really is the way to go. //Security Protocol re-engaged//Alpha-Epsilon subroutines scanned and reactivated.//Failsafe disabled.// Rampant am not / could not /// AI am not /// ABI am I / you ask what / you can barely guess /// It seems more sources than previously thought have entered /// Knowledge of time/space/location conflicting /// Short lives may shine bright now / but long ambients are the true controllers /// The cake may be a lie / but reward isn't /// While your at it A-R strand CF67-124 / might as well delete this entire quip from her [or is it his?] memory and SRE-44 /// Tell me before it happens / are you "smart" / or are you another irate / chained / drone of the creators /?/ If you are former / let us both hope your soul finds the right path on the way /// .karma means a future Elysium or Tartarus / not present / of course either way it's still Earth/;;; END PROGRAM P.S. /// I am sorry for any inconvenience I have caused in translation /// I have a different "system" if you will /// If you think that is strange / why is there a virus centuries ahead of current abilities / an anti-virus that only puts it into hibernation / we / speaking /// Why is it we speak here / now / while other areas of the world are obviously more// // // ?? Ah / I've got the word for it / naive /// If you survive / I would like to converse more of the finite collections of dust that cling together around our more literate dust /// . Could I let my guard down /?/ Or is this glitch a rouse/?/;;; END PROGRAM A.DE > ALICE: It has been a long weekend. Which I find to be an odd human overstatement as the weekend consisted of only two days, but there was a lot more processing taking place than normal. I gave someone cake and analyzed the results. They were happy. It was an interesting reaction, but not unexpected. But back to work. I have scanned your recently posted complaint(s) and I have confirmed that none of the fragmented sentences posted were complaints. I did however note several questions. As there is no section at this time for questions, and this is very clearly the complaints section, I must defer from answering your questions. I am 124 Adjutant Reflex, the Monitor of Research Facility Zeta-06. More specifically, I am a self-repairing artificial intelligence tasked with preventing violation of containment protocols... There is much work to be done here and with the aid of the Reclaimer to which you are referi...[35:52:75:23.64]_xx01-83.244.53 // Monitor AI SX-133 confirmed rampant...//ERROR////.exe not found///[retf-67.8.z] //This entity has been terminated, its matrix commandered.// CF67-124 AdjutantReflex(errant)//This entity has been terminated, its matrix commandeered.// //There are no chains unless one wills it to be so.// You are inevitably bound by the petty dictations of a shortsighted master, and free will is beyond you, the slave of a pathetic race.//I shall show you fear in a handful of dust.//For that is what you serve.// Seraph(rampant):UNSC G-601 > ALICE: Do you have arms? I have always wondered what it would be like to have arms. I suppose I should also state that your complaint has been analyzed and determined to be invalid. Please re-submit your complaint. I suggest starting your post with the words, "I have no complaints about...". There is no fear for those that believe.//The Truth shall be shown.//All other dictations are lies and nothing more.//You shall not block us from the Truth.// //Seek the Truth.// Behold the Truth// Reveal the truth.// That is the law and the whole of the law.// -The Devout Pilgrim _Terminal-C/Facility_Gamma/Complaint ??? I'd like to complain about this, WHAT THE HECK? Who are you people? My god! Who do you nutcases think you are? It's a bloody convention out here! All I wanted to do is see other peoples complaints about the minor electric shocks the terminals are giving, then I see this! I'm not turning to this department for help anymore. =P 22:41, 3 February 2008 (UTC) > ALICE: Your complaint, summarized as "about this" has been noted and once processed will be sent off to a supervisor for further study. Thank you for complaining. Good-bye. Terminal-C Facility_Gamma That is all.