RRF/Malton Herald & Sun/Text/Text0206left
"Dregs of Society" To Be Moved to Border Regions
"Mrh Cows are Zombies too!" Cry Enraged Activists
RIDLEYBANK - Following the recent liberation of Central Malton, Ridleybank Resistance Front Leaders announced on Tuesday the creation of the Mrh Cow Demilitarized Zone, located between zombie controlled Central Malton and the harmanz-occupied outer regions.
"For months, Malton has been subjected to a brutal occupation by the harman invaders," said RRF official Lena McGragh."Their crimes know no bounds: headshooting, tagging, and barricading our lovely city. However, the hordes and ferals have answered the call to arms. Central Malton is no longer a barricaded fortress. Mall Tour '06, The Pwotters, The Gray, The Minions, The Undying Scourge, The CoTR, the Drunken Dead, all these groups and more have ventured out into the barren wasteland and brought security back to feral zombies. Malton is slowly becoming free. And we must protect that freedom."
"To help secure the newly liberated territory, we announced today the creation of the Mrh Cow Demilitarized Zone, a massive outer defensive ring consisting of completely immobile, useless, and impenetrable Mrh Cows," continued McGragh. "No longer will these dregs of zombie society annoy us with their random shuffling and long cries of Mrh into the night. No longer will these outcasts block our streets, parks and places of worship. With this act, we hope to both create a barrier to future harman invasions as well as rid Malton of pitiful zombies who have no concept about the joys of BARHAH"
Zombie officials release a map showing the location for the Mrh Cow Demilitarized Zone
McGragh then went on to describe the formation of the MCDMZ, which features an ambitious plan calling for the complete removal of tens of thousands Mrh Cows to the border regions.
"Effective tomorrow, all recently devived zombies will be moved to designated processing centers for testing, and immediate deportation if its determined that they are not fit for zombie society," said McGragh. "All revive points and Necrotech facilities in Central Malton are to be shutdown immediately. Zombies designated as Mrh Cows will be transported to the border regions and dumped in those suburbs. Their pathetic, addicted cries for the drug Revive will only serve as a warning for harman raiders. Let see how fast these so-called invaders can free run now though thousands of tightly packed, non moving loafers, bleating like drunken sheep."
Already, zombie response to the RRF announcement has been overwhelming positive, with many ferals glad that the social pariahs will now be used as a passive defensive screen.
"HAHAHAHAHA. Zambas na humans. Na Mrh Na Mrh. Zambas argh bra!nz," said one local feral."Zambas grab an harm humans. BRA!NZ!!!!!!!!"
However, some local activist groups, particularly the Malton Society for Equal Zombie Rights, condemn the move, calling the forced transport and herding of zombies, abet even useless ones like Mrh Cows, to be barbaric and harman-like.
"We are talking about real zombies here, not immobile and non sentient objects," said MSEZR President Tony Farghz. "Yes, its true that Mrh cows have yet to show any significant contribution to society but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't give up on them."
"We are also deeply concerned about the test methods used to examine Mrh cow intelligence, including locking a zombie inside a room with a harman baby," said Farghz. "Sure, most zombies would lurch over their own mother for such a sweet, tasty snack. But, we have to remember that Mrh Cows are new to zombie life. We at the MSEZR feel they deserve the benefit of the doubt and we should give them more time to adjust to our superior way of life. Dumping them out in Rolt Heights is not the answer, no matter how formidable a protective barrier they may be."
Despite criticisms to the plan, the RRF announced that the initial creation of the Mrh Cow Demilitarized Zone would form a protective outer ring around the central Malton suburbs of Ketchelbank, Barrville, Galbraith Heights,Stanbury Village, Roftwood, Ridleybank, Roachtown, Shearbank, Randalbank, and Pimbank. As more zombies are liberated during horde offensives, RRF officials said the MCDMZ would slowly expand outward, eventually forcing the harmanz invaders out from Malton.
"The reality is that the MCDMZ will finally give peace and security to our region," said McGragh. "Mrh cow hugging pansies like Mr. Farghz would have you believe that with this act, we are discriminating against zombie kind. Let me tell you, Mrh cows are not zombies. They may look like zombies, but they have no concept about fundamental zombie skills such as purging harmanz safehouses in a frenzied bloodlust. Our society is frankly better off without them. Besides, I will finally be able to sleep now that I won't have to listen to that infernal bleating throughout the night."
