RRF/Malton Herald & Sun/Text/Text0606
Spring Comes to Ridleybank: Zombies Frolic; Vitamin D Deficiency Rampant Among Survivors
by Marina
While we've been out on our excursion, spring has come to our homeland, and everywhere you look you can see signs of new beginnings. Free of twisted human ideals of "cultivation," Ridleybank's natural flora and fauna are starting to make a comeback, and our home has never looked more beautiful! Now that we've weathered the harsh Malton winter together, it's time for us to discover the delights that spring has in store for us. Here are some suggestions for making the most of this spring:
When you were out touring Malton, you probably thought fondly of your home from time to time -- but when you returned, the reality might not have measured up to your daydreams. Sadly, many Ridleybank buildings are still plagued with leftover bits of barricades, remnants of past meals and incomprehensible graffiti. So throw open the windows and doors, because it's time for a good, thorough spring cleaning! If you're running low on cleaning supplies, check the warehouses or the storage closet in the Hollbrook motel for some leftovers. Get rid of the grime, and make your home inviting for passing survivors looking for shelter.
Round up your friends and plan a picnic! (Check the end of the article for a refreshing spring recipe.) Dufferin Park is always a favorite, but don't stop there. There are a few picnic tables set up outside Boniface Library and a nice garden outside Buttery Row School. And don't forget the wastelands! They used to be litter-filled eyesores, but now that they're free of human infestations, they're being reclaimed by nature and make excellent picnic destinations.
But don't feel like you're limited to Ridleybank -- make a day trip out of it! Consider hopping over to Whetcombe Park in Stanbury Village and bore the younger zombies with tales of the strike... go old-school with a picnic in one of Roachtown's three cemeteries... or delight the kids with a trip up to the zoo in Ketchelbank!
After your picnic, take a walk and bash down any barricades you see! It's a great way to work off a heavy meal, and it serves the further purpose of beautifying our city. Ridleybank and its surrounding suburbs have some of the finest examples of architecture in all of Malton, and many of our favorite buildings are works of art in and of themselves; they were not designed to have their marvelous doors and windows clogged up with trash! Let some light and air in, and appreciate them as they were meant to be seen.
As you take full advantage of spring in our beloved suburb, take a moment to think about those less fortunate than ourselves. For us, spring is a time for renewal, for trips with our brethren, for lazing outside in the sun... yet most survivors are still stuck behind the same old rotting, creaking barricades, entirely isolated from the fresh air and sunlight. When they do go outside, it's never just to take a refreshing walk or enjoy the scenery, but merely to get from one building to another -- and some survivors have even eliminated the need for that!
"While I was still clinging to that outdated idea of 'surviving,'" confessed one new RRF member, "I could go for weeks, if not months, without setting foot outside. Half a year of it made me so depressed that one day I just snapped and murdered everyone in my safehouse. Now I'm a zombie, I'm making up for lost time by sunbathing out on the top of Wootten Towers every day."
Such reports are neither surprising nor isolated, because not only is a deficiency in vitamin D harmful to physical health, but to mental health as well. "Studies so far have been inconclusive," noted a prominent zombie physician, "but there is some evidence that a lack of vitamin D exacerbates conditions such as depression and seasonal affective disorder, and continual sunlight deprivation may even shrink the brain." He went on to suggest that survivors compensate for this weakness by ingesting at least one tablespoon of cod liver oil per day, or spending at least two hours in direct sunlight, preferably after liberal application of his specially formulated herbal "suntan lotion."
So as you enjoy cracking open your next safehouse or come across a sleepy survivor, just remember to let them know what a huge favor you're doing them. You may even want to invite them to your next picnic!
Beyin Salatasi (Brain Salad)
Preparation time: 30 minutes
Serves eight
(Recipe source: http://www.geocities.com/ftcookery/reci ... latasi.htm)
This exotic, refreshing recipe comes all the way from our brethren in Turkey. Best of all, it's easy to make, even for those of us missing a finger or two. (Young zombies might want to ask their older brothers and sisters with Memories of Life for help removing the membranes.)
1 sprig of parsley
2 tomatoes
2 human brains
4 soup spoons olive oil
a few olives
the juice of one lemon
Soak the brains in cold, salted water for 20 minutes, then remove the membranes that cover them.
Place the brains in cold water to which vinegar and a little salt have been added. Boil for six minutes, counting from the time that small bubbles begin to appear. Let cool in the cooking water. Place the brains on a serving platter. Sprinkle with olive oil and lemon juice. Decorate with parsley and olives.
Sonny Corleone Becomes The New Leader of the RRF: Papa Petrosjko Steps Down, Looks Forwards To Long Naps at Moggridge
by Marina
On June 23, leadership of the largest zombie group in Malton changed hands, as the beloved "Papa" of the RRF, Petrosjko, announced his intention to retire and leave the RRF in the hands of Sonny Corleone, who he described as "a good, honest man, loyal and sincere." Petro, who has been primarily concerned in recent weeks with the management of the Ridleytown Resistance Front in Nexus War, will still be a presence in Ridleybank. He has returned with former warmaster Grim to Moggridge Police Station, where the RRF was formed. The horde has been supportive of the transition, sending Petro off with cheers of "Barhah!" and backing Sonny up whole-heartedly. Although Sonny was once a dedicated human player, he's since atoned and become a trusted strike team member and prominent zombie advocate.
Now the RRF is under new management, what is being planned for the future? Sonny has stated that he doesn't intend to make any drastic changes to the RRF -- that, as always, "the horde will be a rollin' and the bodies will be a flyin'" and, in a nod to our Papa, he's even swearing off pants. However, there are some signs that his style will be different from Petro's; he has warned that "Unlike Petro I have a temper. Those that attack Ridleybank will pay."
Sonny agreed to grant the RRF Propaganda Corps an interview in which he details his history with Urban Dead, his thoughts on the state of the game and his vision for the RRF.
PC: First, can you give me a short overview of your history with UD? How did you get into the game, what did you do as a survivor, and what made you see the light and join the undead?
Sonny: I joined UD back in late June, early August. I was on the Zombie Survival Guide site and it showed me the link to Kevan's game.
As a survivor I created a group called the Stanbury Renegades the same week the RRF was created. Then the RRF wrecked my shit in Nichols, then Hildebrand, and then in Giddings on Halloween. From then on I joined the Penny-Arcade Rebel Alliance. I eventually became leader of that group because no one stood up to bat. The group did well for months, we had Pitneybank zombie free until Mall Tour.
At Mall Tour Swiper, Cowboy Up, and I (mostly the former and the latter) created the Giddings Defenders, a short lived alliance that defended Giddings for the longest amount of time that any Mall stood (up until Caiger, fuckem anyway). At that time we got mad at CMS because they promised us support for helping them in November. We didn't get said support so we created the Cult of Cockfucktus, a zombie group. CMS-Meta was created to change our minds and it did, because we didn't attack them.
Shortly after the Alliance of Giddings was created. Within a month it grew to 500 men and 9 suburbs. Things went well until April. I created an "alliance" (because smart people know alliances mean nothing in the world, see Nazi-Soviet Pact) with the Confederacy. This was only to avoid future problems, how wrong was I.
I went on vacation the next day to Las Vegas. It was fun, very fun. I get back and log onto my computer to have dozens of e-mails from people about the Nazi Confederate thing. (Bill Sutherland, owner of the Confederate site, was arrested during the Australian Race Riots. He was a Neo-Nazi. However he quit UD months before the alliance between the group and the AoG so I don't know why the Disgruntled Heroes made a big deal out of it) I quickly pulled the alliance so that it would not affect me or my group. The Disgruntled Heroes then sent me messages whining like girls "We don't like them. We don't like you. We don't want to be in your group because you spoke to them." It was like dealing with a teenage girl.
So after a week of that I couldn't take it anymore so I pmed Petro on Dezzens laffo asking him if I could join the horde like he offered PARA back in Halloween. He said yes to my surprise because we never saw eye to eye before. After a long talk with him and Caz over AIM I joined.
PC: What, to you, defines the spirit of the RRF? What are some of the more important traditions you want to keep alive?
Sonny: The spirit of the RRF has always been the numbers of the horde, the propaganda, the good leaders, and the barhah. I want to keep all of them alive. The Horde will continue to fight others, the propaganda will be made, good leader will always be in power, and the barhah will keep a comin'.
PC: Conversely, are you considering any radical changes for the RRF? Is there anything new you want to try?
Sonny: Well the horde will not go home to clean out the harman infestation. They're fighting strike teams, half the DoHS, and ferals and they're losing. Besides, I do not want them to have the satisfaction in fighting the greatest horde ever. So the horde will not come home to fight the harmanz. However after Dulston every suburb we hit will be named after a leader of the RRF that is retiring. I can't exactly give the targets yet but say we hit Suburb A, we'll name it after Jorm, B after Kibbs. Papa Petro get's a special one that will last a week.
After that the RRF, if the harman problem is still around in the homeland, will go to a survivor group and decimate them to pay for the sins of those that invaded the homeland. This will pressure survivor groups. "Stay in Ridleybank and let friends die? Or get out of Ridleybank and save them?"
PC: There seems to be some degree of pessimism about Urban Dead's future; it's no secret that many of the former high-profile RRF players have transfered their interest to Nexus War or withdrawn from the scene entirely, the most popular UD message board was recently shut down and the creator of UD often seems aloof from his creation. How do you feel about where UD is going?
Sonny: UD will continue to live for at least another year. I suspect another strike will happen. Many more people will quit but then someone else will take over. It's like real life, remove one leader and another replaces him.
PC: Someone else besides Kevan, do you mean, or as far as the in-game groups are concerned?
Sonny: In game groups. Kevan will always be around and he'll always mess up the game just to be yelled at by players
PC: Also, among zombies, there's widespread feeling that they're simply not treated with respect or sympathy. (With the exception of the most recent skill upgrade for zombies, Kevan has only made minimal improvements for zombies in the past few months, and it seems like many human players feel the game would be better without any zombies at all) What would you like to see happen as far as the zombie side is concerned? New skills, incentives to play as a zombie, etc.? Or is it appealing to be the underdog?
Sonny: Zombies should get M1 Abrams, Metal Gears, the ability to get drunk, and rocket launchers. On a serious note. Barricades should be easier to take down than put up. I remember watching Night of the Living Dead and the zombie ripped them down before the harmanz could put them up
Zombies should get a "hiding" ability. In movies zombies are alwats hiding in the corner and harmanz don't notice them until they got searching
Barricades should also deterriorate on their own if there aren't survivors there to keep them up. This would eliminate barricade strafers
PC: How do you hope to attract new players to the RRF?
Sonny: Propaganda, public speeches, etc. RRF never had trouble with getting new recruits so I'm not worried. We get new recruits every day "You talk about sacrifice. We see another in the horde"
PC: Do you prefer your brains pan-fried, boiled and seasoned or straight from the skull? :)
Sonny: I like mine on the bone with honey sweet BBQ sauce.
PC: Did you have anything else that you'd like the greater public to know about?
Sonny: Contact me if you need help with anything, have a suggestion, etc.
