RRF/Malton Herald & Sun/Text/Text061508right
MH&S exclusive interview with RRF couple-to-be - Cialan and Sergeant "Naners" Hawk
- By Ironic Sponge Tissue
MH&S: First of all, allow me to congratulate you on your marriage, and on the beauty that is zambah love.
Banana: Aww, how sweet.
MH&S: How did the two of you meet?
Banana: I guess on IRC. If memory serves, things just kinda progressed.
Cialan: Yeah, on IRC. I couldn't say much in rattle at first other than "Mah zambah ganna namnamz Banana." So it was more like "love at first bite." At first, he told me that it would never work out, since we were too different. But I got him to change his mind. :)
Banana: Yeah, Cialan can be very persuasive. You know, feminine wiles and all.
MH&S: That's a real shocker, you seem like such a perfect couple.
Cialan: We are.
Cialan snuggles Banana <3
Banana: Things went pretty smoothly, I'm happy to say.
Cialan: I'm fortunate that he reappears from somewhere else after I namnamz him. Because sometimes I just can't help it.
Banana: No nasty mid-relationship crises.
Cialan: Right.
MH&S: That's a feature most zombie/herb couples only could dream of.
Banana: It's amazing how health-centric people can be when an animated fruit joins the channel.
Cialan: Yeah. It's a good thing you're a healthy food and not something made of processed sugar. We're all much healthier because of it.
Banana: Heh, indeed, otherwise I don't think anyone would have any teeth left.
Cialan: Right. Well, some don't. Fortunately I still have my lower jaw.
Banana: We can't all just sit around and eat bran :P
Cialan: GMT-BC does that for us.
MH&S: Let's talk about the upcoming wedding.
Cialan: It'll be to die for. ;)
Banana: Puns already? :D
MH&S: Hehe
Cialan: You know it.
MH&S: There has been a lot of speculation about the time and place of the ceremony ever since your marriage was announced.
Cialan: Well, it depends a lot on the availability of the building in which we wish to wed. Some harmanz think they can just use it whenever they like, and we were waiting for the right moment to remove them from the premises.
Banana: Yeah, harmanz definitely have an annoying habit of "barricading" buildings for their own use.
MH&S: The Blackmore was mentioned, isn't that right?
Cialan: Mmhm.
Banana: That's what we planned.
MH&S: And the siege has not managed to discourage you?
Banana: Of course not! In any siege, zombies always have the upper hand. The only thing that can deter is sheer boredom, and with Cialan, that's never a problem.
Cialan: <3
Banana snuggles
Cialan snuggles bagh <3
Cialan: We'll be married in Blackmore, though we probably can't announce the date and time to the general harman populace in advance, or they might not show up to be the buffet. There is a reception to follow, you know. And we've already announced that brains will be served.
Banana: Quite, first class catering.
MH&S: Rumor has is that Papa Moloch himself will officiate the wedding.
Cialan: That is true.
Banana: Yep, and we're glad to have him.
Cialan: Very.
MH&S:I imagine that having him breathing will make the ceremony much more accessible to the less literate of us.
Banana: We didn't want to exclude anyone.
MH&S: But you won't personally be breathing, of course?
Banana: No, no, we'll be quite dead to my knowledge.
Cialan: Right, we'll definitely be dead. But our part is quite easy. "Mmhm." "Mah zambah hahgz zah graam." etc.
MH&S: That's a relief.
Cialan: Yes, it is. But Nanarz and I already got revived so we could have new clothes for the occasion.
Cialan models her new wedding dress which is already blood-soaked.
Banana: True, they're already soiled beyond repair, but we'll still look nice. Even if I am wearing ... pants ...
Banana shudders.
Banana: They chafe somethin' fierce.
MH&S: I'm almost tempted to ask why you chose to wear pants in the first place.
Cialan: That's a very good question, Zbanzh.
Banana: I needed to complete the ensemble, and if I was going to give up my Santa suit, I'm going all the way.
Cialan: I told him he didn't have to give up his Santa suit ;__; I'd love my Nanarz even if he did still look like Santa Claus.
Banana: I did it for you <3
Cialan: Or well, more like a yellow fruit in a Santa suit.
Banana: It was terribly threadbare anyway.
Cialan: awww <3
Banana nibbles Cialan affectionately.
Cialan: rawr :)
Cialan: In Soviet Malton, Banana eats you?
Banana grins.
Banana: Who knows, Malton could be in Russia.
Cialan: Perhaps.
MH&S: All right, I think we've covered what most our readers are wondering about. Unless you have anything more you'd like to say before we finish, I'd like to thank you both for taking the time to be interviewed.
Cialan: Oh, it was my pleasure! Thanks for your interest in our zambah marr!azh. :)
Banana: Thanks, and I hope to see you at the wedding.
MH&S: You certainly will.
Cialan: Note to our harman readers: If you'd like to come and be the buffet, you're more than welcome to.
Hungers flare as namnam conflict erupts during a public meeting of the RRF. In a food-related discussion earlier this week, an unnamed Gore Corps member mentioned to Team America that the reason for their superiority over said team, was their "better nachos". The discussion quickly turned violent as the rep speaking for TA threw some of their own nachos at the GCer, but to no avail. The nachos were immediately consumed and subsequently deemed "bland". The GC member then proceeded into a restricted area, no doubt to partake of their own private stock of delicious, cheese-covered, chippy goodness.
As of this report, it is unknown whether the Gore Corps nachos are indeed superior, or whether this is another example of food-based rivalry between teams in the Front. The Breakfast Club, the traditional foodies of the RRF, were surprisingly unavailable for comment, though nachos are not typically a morning food. The distinguished head of GMTBC is reported to have a secret stash of nachos, of the macho variety.
