RRF/Malton Herald & Sun/Text/Text0806left
Known for being a flavorful and tender delicacy, Veal Brainz have been part of the zombie diet in Malton since the beginning of the outbreak. However, a new movement lead by “Harmane Treatment for Harmanz” is decrying the practice of raising and eating the popular dish.
Harm for Harmanz spokesperson Mrh? Gangbang! asserted, “These sadistic harman ranchers immobilize their own babies inside of Malls, force feeding them Sbarro Pizza, Panda Express and Orange Julius until they’re ready to burst. A diet of fully grown, free range harmanz is available all over Malton, so why do we continue to eat their young?”
The controversial foodstuff.
RRF member and chili afficionado Braggledorth begs to differ. “Veal brainz are the perfect compliment to the four different peppers that I use in my chili. We are zombies following our nature, which is to eat brainz. Whether those brainz come from babies or adults, free-range or cage/mall-fed, they nourish the decaying corpse.”
With the recent restoration of the harman population to Caiger Mall, veal brainz production has skyrocketed. A visit to Caiger revealed harmanz packed so tightly into the building that they are unable to lay down. Muscles – with the exception of trigger and needle fingers – are completely atrophied from lack of use. Bones are misshapen from lack of sunlight. Waste is cleaned by hosing down the floors of the mall once a week.
These practices begin from harman birth when most harman babies are contained in the mall food court and begin feeding on nothing but powdered milk and low grade cheese used by food court eateries.
“Sure, zombies love to eat brainz, but don’t want to see how they’re made,” says Bale Mall head rancher Jack McPherson. “I’m not claiming that this a clean business. But at the same time, most all these babies want to do is eat.”
It is at infancy that many zombies insist that the flavor and texture of the brains reach their greatest potential. The product isn’t corrupted by the excessive and bitter synapses that exist in adolescent brainz or the tough, rubbery texture of adult brainz.
“We need to understand the cost of our habits,” Gangbang! explains. “I’m not saying that we need to stop eating brainz altogether, but there are so many free-range harmanz that run between buildings and actually have higher quality and higher yield brainz. I just don’t see why we can’t satisfy our brainlust with those.”
However, Braggledorth has a rebuttal: “Free range brainz are excellent after they’re rubbed, smoked and covered with barbeque sauce before serving. However, we zombies need a little variety. Whether it be chili con brainz, harmanbargars, or some nice medulla oblongatas on the half skull we need to have a little spice in our diet.”
Perhaps McPherson put it best when he said, “as long as there are zeds smashing at the cades, I’ll have some harman calves waiting for them. Better them than me.”
