Talk:Garden Gnome Liberation Front
Not What They Seem
I'm afraid I simply cannot tolerate this injustice- Garden Gnomes are oppressed for a reason, don't you know?
What with their sneaky hats and fishing rods, they make most dangerous opponents (see "A Short History of British Coup Attempts", Vol. II-IV) and need to be kept down. Why, even whilst harshly regulated these scoundrels still terrorize local populations of goldfish.
All in all, Garden Gnomes are terrorists and should be treated as such. Should you wish to continue your worrying actions, I'm afraid I may have to take repercussive action. Karloth vois RR 23:35, 4 September 2006 (BST)
Hmmm... Your prejudice towards diminutive woodland folk reveals your racist mentality, Mr. Karloth. It is because of bastardos like yourself that gnomes, dwarves, and midgets are having to bear the tyranny of slavery and garden despotism, a fate which they can only resist by fighting back (and thus are unjustly dubbed terrorists). We here in the Liberation Front are dedicated to ending this conflict, not continuing it, by freeing the Gnomes so they can return to their native lands and exist in harmony with the forest. By continuing to support the opression of little people, you sir, are part of the problem. (And you can add that to your list of war crimes.)
If you don't change your cruel ways a special team of liberated Gnomes will be dispatched from the northern forests to eat your goldfish's firstborn.
Sincerely, Dom Pinon
- The Foreign Office has offered new advice on the Gnomes "Native Lands" recently, warning all British tourists not to go there. "it's full of suspicious characters" offered one scared tourist. Tony Blair has cancelled his vacation and recalled the cabinet in reply to official intelligence warnings.
- In response to increasing forest size, the U.S. Government has issued a "code red" terrorism alert and ordered full scale deforestation across vast regions. President Bush announced, in a dramatic speech earlier today:
- "We of the Democration Nations of American America have a duty to protect freedom across the world. Trees are in great danger from the forces of evil, and they must be freedominated!"
- The White House have released a statement saying they "Can't see the trees for the forest". Dick Cheney shot someone again.
- Your Garden Gnome Liberation Front of Judea have been placed upon the FBI's "most wanted list". Dom Pinon is currently the four of diamonds, right below Bill Clinton. We can only hope this has shown you the error of your ways.
- --Karloth vois RR 17:49, 27 September 2006 (BST)
