User:Officer Mead Sheaffer/Your Mother

	Classy Disapproval!
	Due to the Author being drunker than hell, we stuck his face into a bucket of water about 80 times, sobered him up, and set him back to work in a much more classy manner.

UNDER CONSTRUCTION.

"Your mother? Whats a mother?"

- Your Brother

"Whats a Brother?"

- Your Sister

"I don't really think that much about your mother."

- Your Father

"Your Mother was born in the sixties."

- State-The-Obvious Guy

"I'm doing this for your Mother,"

- Joe, on throwing his indestructible Beer caskets over the wall in Dulston

Your mother was an average lady who was born rather averagely in the rather average town of Ridleybank, in an average Hospital on an average day. And, you guessed it, she was born average. Heck, one time, me and your mom even did p- I mean, made a lovely chat over Tea. By the time of the outbreak, your mother was approximately 37 years old, we are %82 percent sure. Actually, we don't know, that was made up. Besides. %73 Percent of all Percents are made up.

Your mother probably went through a phase of being obese, then anorexic, then normal, then shifted back to something else then normal again. If she was anything like what moms were supposed to be, she was usually in the kitchen making sandwiches, taking away your sexeh pr0nz and kissing your boo-boo's.

Your Mother

Like you, your mother had many skills! To these she honed with massive power, skill, and expertise.

Class: Civilian, Housewife

Weapons: Hairspray, Frying Pan, Broom, Assorted Thumbtacks

Items: FAK, Mobile Phone, GPS, Purse

Level: 34

Skills:

•Basic Utensil Combat Training (%30 more accuracy with Frying Pan, Broom)

•Advanced Utensil Combat Training (%60 more accuracy with Frying Pan, Broom)

•Boyfriends (%50 Percent Damage Reduction)

•More Boyfriends (%80 Damage Reduction)

•Shopping (%50 Percent more likely to pick up an item.)

•SHOPPING SPREE (%150 Percent more likely to find precise item searched for)

Controversy

Your mother is a subject of controversy. When originally described, her children were deeply offended. Therefore the author as described remade the page, though it did little, now being the controversy that the description is to nice.

The Author, fearful of more threats of speedy deletion due to the possibility of his revision being offensive, takes cover

When originally discussed, it was noted that it appeared to be similar to the relatively "non-classy" satire from Uncyclopedia. The Urban Dead Wiki Users, not taking this for a minute, being the classy folk they are, instead sent it towards its doom in speedy deletion. It was quickly remade, after a quick break for some tea... thereby saving your Mother from impending doom.