User:Specialist290/Huey P Long/Quartly Library Speech

Right now, a high percentage of Malton's ferals are suffering from a lack of brains. This is not to say that there's a shortage of brains; far from it--the citizens of this fair city have plenty of brains for everyone within these quarantine limits. What is happening, however, is that many of Malton's elite survivor class are choosing to hoard up these brains, to deny them to the less fortunate ferals who have yet to learn of the delights of a fresh, living BRA!NZ! supply. Many, indeed, have more brains than they know what to do with--take the group I name the trenchcoater class for instance. Think of all that grey matter going to waste, stuffed inside the noggins of people who don't even know what they have in there!

This is not to say that *all* survivors are so stingy with their brains--the denizens of this fair Library, indeed, strike me as some of the most kindhearted I've met, in any state--but, on the whole, Malton's survivor population, which consists of less than 50 percent of the whole population of Malton, is keeping back 85 percent of Malton's brains to themselves and using less than... 5 percent? 10? Don't remember the exact figures right now, but the point is they're letting so much good cerebral tissue go to waste when it could be given to some of Malton's more brain-starved ferals, a class which consists of almost exactly 50 percent of Malton's total zombie population. "The figures are all there if you want to check them yourself; I can tell you where to find them.

It is this heinous imbalance in the distribution of grey matter that the Share Our Bra!nz program wishes to correct. I believe that the chief causes of this imbalance are found in the roots of Malton's corporate system, specifically the Necrotech Corp. and Malton's Mall system. While these are not inherently bad in and of themselves, I believe that they can easily be corrupted and exploited by greedy survivors who only wish to further their own betterment, and who look down upon our ferals as something unworthy of their consideration. I believe, therefore, that strict controls and regulations must be placed upon these bodies, with heavy cerebral fines imposed upon violators. To further that end, I believe that teams of assessors should be created to scout out the dens of our city's corruption, and that the profits that the vipers' nests have accumulated be made freely accessible to the public."

Let every man have all that he needs to make a living (or unliving, as the case may be)--but give the rest to someone in need!

--Huey Pierce Long, Jr., March 29th, 2007