The Malton Star/Issue 1

A Voice For the South-West By Nuabreed For too long have the numerically inferior voices of the southwest been drowned out by raving of the vast hordes to the north and east. The Malton Star is intended to provide news for those forgotten souls in the region. At present, the paper is accepting articles on anything and everything but our main interest would be status reports from various suburbs of the South-west. We can't promise to print them all but we'll probably read them. Toolboxes, Why we need them. By Keith McNaught With the recent rampage of destruction by the zombie hordes, survivors all across Malton are desperately searching for toolboxes and boning up on their construction skills. Unfortunately, they seem to be in short supply. Early reports suggest that auto repair shops, factories and hardware stores in your local mall are good places to look. As every survivor knows, power and communications are vital in these dangerous times. In the hands of a skilled repairman, the lifespan of such valuable items as generators and radio transmitters can be greatly extended, provided they are kept basically intact. The Malton Star urges all survivors with a knack for shopping (especially those with an eye for a bargain) to head to their local mall and obtain a toolbox as soon as possible. Your community will thank you. Foulkes Village: Mystery Zombies By Keith McNaught Suspicious zombie activity has been reported in Foulkes Village of late, with around a dozen zombies repeating the same series of actions. Eyewitnesses have described this behaviour as "acting like they were programmed". Although almost all resource buildings are held by large groups of zombies, the unusual behaviour appears to be centred on the Henley NT. When executed, the squatting zombies stand up within five minutes and re-enter the building. If revived, they enter only to throw themselves out the nearest window and return inside. Our eyewitnesses have noticed that the zombies after re-entering, do not attack survivors lurking within the building. In one case, one person reported standing among the zombies for ten minutes as six of the undead engaged in this suspicious behaviour. Not one of the beasts attempted to attack him. The Malton Star encourages all unoccupied survivors in the surrounding safe zones (especially those skilled with ranged weaponry) to stock up on ammo and head down to Foulkes Village for target practice. Death to the robo-zombies! Foulkes Village: Zombie Watch By Nuabreed And now a gift for our readers in the Foulkes Village area. These are the profiles of most of the zombies and zombie symphatisers in the suburb. Many thanks to CAPD for the details and good luck out there. Anderson Cooper, Anonymous Warrior, cownosecat, F Bomb, Fat Man with a Salad, Filliam H. Muffman, Fishface Jones, Forum Eunuch, Forum Shemale, Hardy Har Har, Holy Frijoles, Jarret Donkey Boy, Kyle the Punked, Lance Link, Lars Thorvald, MasterBates, Max Hardcore, Molly Ringworm, mutant fish, Mystery Hen, Necal Nilk, Okarito Brown, Pocket Monster, Runaround Sue, Said Right Dead, SharpDressedMan, Sock Puppet, Stankbutt, Stormy Pooter and The Nude Nerd. Ruddlebank - Zeds Target Necrotechs By Keith McNaught Zombie action is increasing in Ruddlebank. The Selway NecroTech Building in Ruddlebank is being targeted by organised zombies from the dead zone to the west. The undead's shameless attacks continue to inflict heavy losses on the brave revivers in the area. However, first hand reports indicate that when captured, few undead squatters remain inside the building. Unconfirmed news also indicates that the Cheeke Necrotech is also under attack. Perhaps this is the precursor to a wider assault on Ruddlebank. The Malton Star encourages all able-bodied survivors and NecroTech employees to drive the scum out and dump the bodies so that repair work can be started in earnest.