User:Chief Seagull/Haggaz

Haggaz is best served with a garnish of brains (rot optional). It tastes even better if you can stop the local psycho from sticking a hunting knife into it.

This Marzan take on the famous Scottish tradition is tasty, nourishing and easy to prepare.

Ingredients

• 1 Human (medium-large), from which you'll need the: -
  • Stomach
  • Heart
  • Lungs
  • Liver
  • Brain
• 3 onions
• Salt and black pepper
• 150ml of stock / gravy

Directions

1. Firstly, select a good quality human. It should be of a medium-to-large size, especially if you're preparing a meal for your horde or for some ferals who just happen to pass by. The many low-level newbies that are commonly found sleeping in the streets after getting barricaded out of their safehouses are ideal as these are much fresher and easier to obtain. The more experienced survivors are harder to come by, tend to have already been chewed over a few times and may have bullets and shotgun shells lodged in them, which invariably spoils their flavour.
2. Open the fresh human and carefully remove the stomach. Empty the contents and clean it thoroughly.
3. Carefully remove the heart, lungs and liver and carefully mince together (using your claws if a professional mincing machine is unavailable).
   

   Good quality, succulent brains make for an excellent haggaz. Houseflies and other insects can be included according to personal preference.
4. Chop up the onions with half of the brain and mix together. If you are unable to find any onions, use some dead flower bulbs from the nearest park.
5. Mix the heart, lungs, liver, brain and onions together with the stock. If you are unable to find any stock, just use blood.
6. Season the mixture with salt and pepper. If you are unable to find any salt or pepper, some ground-up rubble from a ruined building will do the trick.
7. Fill the stomach with the mixture. Press out any remaining air and close the stomach up.
8. Now comes the tricky part - cooking the damn thing. If you've been fortunate enough to break into a powered hotel or mansion, you might be able to use an electric cooker to boil the stomach and filling for three hours. If you don't have access to an oven but you do have Memories of Life, try to remember how to light a fire.
9. If you can't cook it, just eat it raw!
10. Garnish with the remaining brain, if it hasn't already been eaten.