The Fortress/News Archive 6

• Extra Archive*

An Official Message from the Editor. Ruinator departs from TFN.

I am sad to announce that Ruinator is leaving the TFN staff, to take command of Team Excalibur. Victor Vandregas will now take over as full-time writer for Team Cold Cell.

Good Luck on taking up the sword, Ruinator!

If I only had a Brain?

Written by Perrin the Wolf, September 2, 2008

Wolf Morrison reporting once more for the TFN. After a long awaited return and a far too long leave from the TFN I came to understand what it truly meant to be called a "friendly passerby". As I relaxed in Nichols mall gawking at the beautiful Goolina and sipping at my very stale coffee I noticed something that most would forget, something that only happened a few days before when Nichols was in a shambles once more thanks to the RRF.

Walking in during a recent operation with The Fortress's Team Anaconda I noticed only one zombie in a corner of the room. I shrugged and looked at my needle I had labeled 'the hand of god' for obvious reasons. Slamming it into the lifeless corpse I did something that most newbie killers do, combat revived.

Days later I revisited the site when a member of the RRF spoke to me. "Honestly, Perrin the Wolf, don't combat revive. Look at my group tag. Do i seriously look survivor friendly?" His name was Earl Boris. Of course I didn't have his ID on record, one of the very few RRF recruits I have ever missed. After he continued to rant as well as destroy the generator and kill himself, the friendly new kilt store worker Goolina started to revisit her former days as an RRF member. She gestured to the now zombified Earl Bori and had some odd conversation about reviving him.

"Hi there Earl Boris. You know, if you wanted a kilt, you just had to ask. I speak fluent rattle, and could have assisted you without your resorting to parachuting. Once you're undead and all bitey, it's difficult to get a proper fit."

Of course, as any man who is fascinated with the undead life knows, Goolina is a sweet person as a human and can never pass up a sale. They conducted business and when all was said and done he started to take his leave without harming anyone in the mall...but of course, due to profiling, some random passerby ended up killing the human version of this RRF member by the name of Wasabeee. His only words were, "The purple rabbit has been taken care of."

It was some day I had but after a hard days work in this hellish world not even a passerby is safe nowadays. With Wasabeee hopefully being placed in the Rogue gallery all I can say is Earl wherever you are I hope that you enjoy your new kilt regardless of your blood stains on it.

From your friendly reporter for the TFN take care, and until the next great catch is found.....

Top News

• Following in Anne Tardew's footsteps, ziptrickhead is selected to be the next commander of team Dark Watch. Congratulations! September 2009

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• After some delay, Chuck Strahovski is chosen to become the new Fortress Four Colonel! A spectacular feat, seeing as how he is already a drill sergeant - though the jobs often go hand in hand. Congratulations, commander! August 2009

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• The Fortress begins yet another recruitment program - Special Operation: Recruiting Battalion! Members are encouraged to spread the word of the Fortress far and wide, with a side contest to see who can recruit the most new members! August 2009

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• ORakoon and Warlord are selected to become new PK Archivers, filling Puppiemaster's now-vacant seat and bringing the PK Archiving team to four members. Congratulations! August 2009

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• Roy Orbson is elected to the vital Councillor spot in a very close vote, and Puppiemaster is chosen to become the next Moderator - both positions left vacant by Steve the Decimator. Congratulations! July 2009

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• Warlord wins the 2009 Vigilance Challenge by a margin of a few days, outliving even the esteemed Jensonson. Congrats, Warlord! July 2009

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• More new staff members have been selected! Puppiemaster has recently been elected as Barkeeper of Trong Tran's Tavern, and Chuck Strahovski and Hawke2019 are the new Boot Camp Drill Sergeants. Congrats! June/July 2009

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• Cold Cell's rising star, Horgant Morrowind, is elected to Council following in the footsteps of Lucy Daniels. Congrats, Horgant! June 2009

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• Following the release of Amano Jaku, theYeas is selected to be the new commander of team Cold Cell. He, in turn, chooses Horgant Morrowind to be his Lieutenant. June 2009

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• New forum staffers have been selected! Bob Boberton was recently promoted to Moderator, and both puppiemaster and Maynard Knight become PK archivers. May/June 2009

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• Teams Battlehawk and Anaconda complete their chain kill for 33.33 points! 18 members invited a total of 60 zombies to have dirt naps in nearly 60 hours of solid murderin' outside Caiger Mall, falling into second place. Congrats Hawks and Condas! May 2009

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• Morrigana is elected to the Fortress Council with 15 votes, filling the seat recently vacated by Miss Elainious. Congratulations, Councilor Morrigana! May 2009

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• Nazdreg is appointed new TFN Chief Editor. All hail the chief! Big changes and revamps are expected around TFN! April 2009

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• Tiago Ferreira is elected (in a very close election!) to the Fortress Council, replacing Zuton. April 2009

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• Malton's West End, the public area of the Writer's Guild, opens to introduce more member-generated RP content and allow voting and feedback. April 2009

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• The Fortress Defence Awards are announced, rewarding valor and service in any of the four Fortress Defence Teams. April 2009

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• After the DEM posts landmark deficits, Current Stock Market estimations reveal that the value of 100g of Cheese is now .9567 Brains, documenting a huge decrease in value.

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• Following the retirement of Templarivs, Kathryn Nozed is appointed Commander of Team Battlehawk, and she appoints Steve the Decimator as her lieutenant. April 2009

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• Fortress 3, The Society, is discovered somewhere in Malton. Party favors and liquor are freely distributed in celebration, and Miss Elainious is appointed F3 Colonel. Warlord is also named F1 Colonel. February/March 2009

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• Cold Cell achieves a record-breaking score in their Valentine's Day Massacre - 58.5 hours, 16 team members, and 63 kills brings them to the top of the Chain Kill scoreboard with 36.88 points. February 2009

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• Fortress Combat Units have started 2009 in good spirits. The Malton survivor population is strong, and this is in no small part down to the Fortress' hard work, and the work of their vigilant allies. January 2009

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• Cold Cell achieves a record-breaking score in their Valentine's Day Massacre - 58.5 hours, 16 team members, and 63 kills brings them to the top of the Chain Kill scoreboard with 36.88 points.

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• Fortress Combat Units have started 2009 in good spirits. The Malton survivor population is strong, and this is in no small part down to the Fortress' hard work, and the work of their vigilant allies.

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• The Fortress 3rd Year Anniversary Party is a great success. Much beer, wine and cheese was consumed.

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• Clint Clintstone resigns as Commander of Team Battlehawk. His replacement is Templarivs, a long time member and fitting leadership choice.

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Team Excalibur has been disbanded as a combat team. Team Excalibur is where they will continue to work together as a writing team.

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Templarivs is made Commander of Team Battlehawk

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The Fortress News sure is growing! We had to make a second page just to hold everything!

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The Fortress-wide Chain kill is finished.

• 139 kills (New Record).
• Duration of 95 hours 48 minutes (New Record).
• 49 challengers (New Record).

To sum it up, a New Record!

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The Battle of Barhapolis ends

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